Let Go: Winterwidow

Part 11: What Comes After

Author Note: Hey everyone! I hadn't realized how popular this book was so I'm going to start updating again! I hope you enjoy! :D

Stevie toddled around the little apartment as his mother folded the laundry. They owned their own washing machines, but Bucky and Natasha were trying to save as much money as possible, and having to pay the bills for water was already a struggle so they just went to a laundromat instead.

The little blonde huffed heavily as he pushed himself up onto a chair and wheezed, the effort being a little too much for him with his awful asthma problems. Natasha kept a watchful eye on him as she folded, knowing he could handle a little shortness of breath, but if his problems got out of control then she'd give him his breathing treatment. Stevie was small, but he was also tough and could handle more than most 1 year olds could.

The baby then whined and looked back at Natasha as he seemingly couldn't get back down by himself and Natasha chuckled softly. "C'mon baby boy, show me what you've got..."

Stevie whined louder this time as he stood up on the chair and held on the back then bounced on his legs slightly with agitation and urgency. Natasha sighed and left her work to go see what the baby wanted, thinking he might be hungry, or that he needed a nap.

"What is it, honey? You want some mashed up carrots?" she asked even though she knew she wasn't going to get an answer. She picked up the restless blonde and he just laid his head on her shoulder, his whines quieting somewhat. That wasn't very typical infant behavior so Natasha felt his forehead slightly. He was burning up!! The redhead gasped and started panicking. What was she supposed to do again? Check his temperature, right!

Natasha dashed into the tiny bathroom with Stevie and threw open the medicine cabinet with more panic rising inside her. No, she must stay calm... she must stay calm! If she didn't keep herself level headed, Stevie could get sicker, or worse... No! She wouldn't allow herself to even go there. Stevie would be okay and they would all get the happily ever after that they all deserved!... Wouldn't they?

Natasha toppled various objects out of her way furiously as she snatched up the thermometer and carefully inserted it into Stevie's mouth, much to his weak protests.

"Don't worry, love of mine, it's not a shot..." Natasha murmured as she tried to keep both herself and Stevie calm. "Everything's going on with you, huh baby? Don't worry, Mommy's gonna get you better, I promise..."

She cradled her sweet spirit in her arms while she waited for the temperature to come back and in an instant she wished that Bucky was home to help her both stay calm and help her poor baby. What if she messed up and something terrible happened to her Stevie? What then? Would Bucky think she was incapable of taking care of a sick baby? She knew she would never trust herself again...

Suddenly she was torn away from her previous thoughts when the thermometer beeped, sounding the infant's fate. She hesitantly pulled it out of the baby's mouth, who seemed to be getting weaker by the minute, and looked at the temperature. 104?!

"What?!" she cried which made the blonde jump and start to cry. She quickly tried to calm him as she paced around the apartment knowing she was running out of time. She always seemed to be out of time... "Please, God, help my son..." she whispered some sort of prayer though she wasn't strictly part of any religion. But she was desperate now and it seemed the only person who might help was the creator himself. "Please..."

Stevie's cries were getting smaller and weaker and Natasha knew it was getting to the point where she had to get help. Starting with her husband. But then she realized that if he was called away from his fragile stance at work then he might be fired! Then they would have no money for their livelihood, or for hospital things that Stevie might need. What was she going to do?!

"Stay calm... stay calm..." she mumbled to herself as she gently placed Stevie into his car seat and buckled him in.

Natasha had dealt with colds before, but Stevie was so much more fragile and one false move could mean... could mean the end of all things for her. As a mother who cared for her child, devastation was coursing through her as she worked frantically to get her baby to the hospital for the care he needed quickly. She knew that she desperately needed her husband, but they also desperately needed as much money as they could get before Bucky was inevitably laid off.

Stevie whined weakly as his mother hailed a cab and she placed a damp washcloth over his forehead, hoping to bring down his temperature to a safer number as they rode the 20 minutes to the nearest hospital. Every moment that ticked by was painstaking to Natasha and the second the cab rolled up to the hospital she took Stevie in at a running speed.

"Please, save him! I-I don't think he's going to be okay!" she cried at the lady who worked at the front desk. Since the little family seemed to visit the hospital a lot more frequently than most do, the lady recognized Natasha and nodded quickly.

In moments some doctors and nurses jogged up and took the baby carrier from Natasha who wanted to hold onto it with all her might and she held onto it tight for a moment, knowing this could be it.

"Ma'am, please let go," one of the doctors said with a reproachful look at the redhead who stubbornly held on. "C'mon now, the child needs medical treatment immediately..."

Let go.

The two words shook her to the core of her heart and tears formed in her eyes as she gazed upon her baby; her beautiful, perfect boy... perhaps for the last time. She let her grip loosen and the handle was torn away from her hold as she watched them go, and she followed behind them until the emergency room doors were slammed in her face. Only medical personnel now since she would just be in their way of things.

Natasha slumped onto a chair in the hallway hugging herself and allowed herself to shed tears of terror and heartbreak. What if Stevie didn't pull through and Bucky would never see his son alive again? It would be all her fault for not calling him before this point, but she felt like she had no choice! Did she make the right decision? All this second guessing and regret only made her feel worse and she hugged herself tighter, as if it would prevent her from falling apart at the seams.

"Nat?"

The redhead looked up through her tears to see Bucky standing in front of her. He had a concerned look on his face that softened slightly as he realized that his wife was crying and knew that it must've been worse than he was told. He held out his arms to Natasha, wanting to give her a reassuring embrace even though the chances of Stevie surviving this was... slim.

Natasha didn't hesitate and threw herself into his arms, sobbing her heart out into his shoulder as he held her tightly. He wished that he could help, that he could have some control over the situation. The front desk had called him at work as soon as Natasha brought the baby in and he was confused as to why she didn't just call him first. But he knew it must have been for a good reason and he trusted his wife to a fault.

Bucky sighed grimly and glanced to the doors as he stroked his wife's fiery hair gently, trying his best to soothe her though he knew that she had everything to cry about now. He had lost his job today. They were going to be evicted and possibly homeless. And now their first born and only child was on the brink of death, and they had barely known him.

Stevie was in the doctor's hands now, and if he didn't pull through this near impossible predicament, then neither Bucky nor Natasha knew where they would stand after it all.