Meet the birthday man

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Vasilios knocked twice on Thor's bedroom door, it was decorated with a multitude of Revengers stickers. Odd, it's his birthday but he refused to come out of his cave and celebrate it.

The rest of the adults and children were mingling around with each other in various parts of the house, not even remembering who this celebration is for.

"I don't want cake, ma. I don't even want this birthday party." You heard a muffled voice speak from within. It sounded quite nasal.

"I am not your mother." His voice was stern yet eerily soft.

You heard a loud gasp followed by a series of items being knocked to the ground.

The door swung open to reveal a man, wearing thick-framed glasses. Surprisingly, he's a head shorter than you!

He's... exactly like what Vasilios described. Greasy, unkempt, out of shape and he emits a distinct, pungent odour. Years and years of his unhealthy lifestyle made him look like a middle-aged man.

"If Vasilios said that this dude's his dad, I'd believe him." You smiled nervously at Thor as Vasilios glared spitefully at him. Poor man, he was trembling in fear under Vasilios's critical gaze.

"H-hi?" He mumbled quietly as he avoids eye contact with Vasilios.

"Happy birthday, Thor. Come." You flinch at your 'boyfriend's' dominating and harsh tone. Vasilios calmly walked towards the door to the backyard.

You saw Thor exhibit visible signs of extreme distress, from hyperventilation to perspiration, to flushing of the cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down buddy. He's not gotta eat you." You tried to reassure him.

"But he's gonna kill me!" He silently squealed in panic. You furrowed your eyebrows, what makes Vasilios such a scary man? If it wasn't your dilemma with Brandy's weed farm, you would have socked him in the face already.

You pitied Thor.

"C'mon, he ain't that bad. Just a little touchy—"

"He's gonna touch me!?" He hugged himself. Your eyes went wide.

"No! What the f— shit... just go, damn it!" You pointed at the direction where Vasilios went.

"No! I'm scared, he's... he's scary!" You saw him tremble more.

"You're a year older than him, what the hell are you talkin bout!?" Thor shook his head.

"I don't wanna face him...! Please, I don't wanna—"

"Hey, you're gonna face him anyways! He's gonna drag your ass outta ya room, wrestler style if you don't go now. I heard he's gonna make you join the adult's table or some shit." Thor's acne covered face turned pale.

"I...I have to eat with the a-adults?"

"Well, it's Vasilios you're talkin bout here. He's gonna make sure you do."

"B-but I'm gonna get humiliated in front of everyone I know—" you glanced behind your back to see Vasilios hiding behind a corner, watching both of you interact. Thor doesn't seem to notice his presence.

"Listen, Thor, it's either you get humiliated in private or you get humiliated at the adult's table. What will it be!?" You hissed.

Thor gulped. "I- I guess in private..."

"Great! You got your shit straight, now go face the beast." Thor gave you a puzzled look.

"Wait, who are you!?" He took a step back.

"Vasilios's current— uhh, invited guest."

"Wait, like another one of his flings?" He asked.

"Sure bud, now go!" You pushed him from the back. He was incredibly heavy and oily.

"Gross, gross, gross, gross!"

"Wait! What should I expect!? What is he gonna do to me!?" Thor resisted.

"Like hell I know, maybe a lecture about the IRS or something?"

"C-can I prepare myself first? I don't wanna... disappoint him too much."

Vasilios raised his eyebrows in surprise, that was unexpected. But, it was nice of him to put some effort into his presentation for once.

"What, like marinating yourself in some sauce to make yourself look appealing to him? That's a grand idea, make sure you don't use any dairy-based sauce though, he's lactose intolerant." You snorted. It made Thor giggle a bit.

"Yeah, I heard mom made sure all the snacks and food tonight are lactose-free just for Mister Vasilios."

"Hey, hey, I got an idea. Bring a gallon of milk with you, If he tries to do anything stupid, defend yourself with milk. Use a straw as a gun."

"Ha ha! Milky bullets!" Thor laughed.

Vasilios brought his hand to his face upon hearing that. So, that's how you change children's' perceptions of him. "Oh, mon Dieu..." he quietly grumbled to himself.

"But yeah, I guess I could convince him to give you some time to fix yourself enough to ya won't look like burning trash."

"Ouch." Thor replied.

"'Ouch' doesn't make Vasilios friendlier, gettin' rid of your stank does. Take a shower, wear some proper clothes and for the love of (your god), put on some frikin' deodorant." Thor nodded bitterly.

"Go! The longer you make him wait, the longer his hair grows!" Thor quickly scurried back into his room to gather the necessary items before making a beeline to the bathroom.

You turned around to see Vasilios. His arms crossed over his chest and his feet tapping on the wooden floor.

"...err, assuming you heard everythin'... give him, let's say... ten minutes?" He rolled his eyes and took out a small bottle from his pocket.

"Show me your hands." You raised an eyebrow and did what you were told.

He uncapped the bottle and sprayed your hands with it. "Hey, what—"

"Antibacterial spray. Thor is the perfect breeding ground for a plethora of incurable diseases. Ugh." He sprayed some onto his own hands too, then moving onto the doorknob to the bedroom door, then he sprayed the rest of your body with it.

"I heard what you told him about me. How creative." He squinted at you. You scratched the back of your neck and chuckled nervously.

"You rascal." He gently flicked you on your forehead.

"My lovable rascal." It was followed by a sweet kiss on your cheek.

"I can never tell if he's pissed or not." You grinned anxiously as he strokes your hair. "He didn't cry, I guess it's okay."

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A/n: Revenger is microwaveean's Avengers

Reader and Vasilios as soon as Thor gets out of his room:

Reader and Vasilios as soon as Thor gets out of his room:

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