NOT SUITABLE FOR PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 17.
It all started with a blind date, set up by your friend. It slowly spirals down into a disasterous mess.
(Cover is a photo from Pinterest)
Highest ranking:
#1 in yanderexreader on 17th Feb 2020
#1 in dar...
A/n: Thor and Lizard bromance + READ IMPORTANT a/n AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE
"Turn left dude." Lizard told Thor as he kept his eyes on the screen of your cracked phone.
"You mean 'to the right'?" Lizard squinted at the virtual map.
"Yeah, my bad, turn right— wait how do you know to turn right?" Lizard asked.
"Cause if I were to turn left, we'll be fish food." Lizard looked around to see that there are no roads to the left, only the edge of a very tall cliff leading to the ocean.
"Oh, heh heh. My bad bro." He scratched his head.
Like hounds, both of them went on a journey to rescue you. They will worry about the legal process later, what matters now is to find out where you are. The police will handle the rest and hopefully the Smiths will handle Thor's bail.
Lizard is worried for his safety if he's in jail, he's tiny! Of course the other, bigger inmates will take advantage of him. Although Lizard's probably going to be with him, he can't be with Thor 24/7, he's bound to get hurt at some point.
Thor steered his (stolen) scooter to the right and continues driving on a desolate road. They scan around for any signs of Harlowe or you, so far they haven't seen any.
"Wait dude!"
"What?!"
"Bro! We just shot past the freaking tracking puck!" Lizard stared at your cracked phone. Thor rolled his eyes and made a U-turn, it's not like there are any cars that—
"Gah! Why the hell did ya drive into the woods, bro?!" Lizard struggled to hold onto Thor as he suddenly swerve to the left.
"Thorky!" Lizard poked him on his chubby ribs and grimace when his finger comes out covered in grease.
"Why did ya—" Lizard immediately shuts up when he hears sirens pasing by, police car sirens to be precise. Thor parked the scooter under a tree, both of them are not very visible since they're hidden within the shadows.
Thor turned off the engine and froze on the spot, Lizard hesitantly got off and checked on Thor from the front.
His eyes were wide and his face was completely pale, Lizard could tell that he's holding his breath.
"Bro, are ya— damn! What's happenin!?" Lizard had to catch Thor's wide body as it falls to the side, Lizard grunted in pain as the weight of his body is almost double of Lizard's.
He slowly lets Thor down on the grassy ground. Once the shorter male is completely stable, lying flat on the dirt and greens, he started hyperventilating and sweating.
"I-I can't do this— wh-what-what w-as I t-t-t-t—" Thor stuttered endlessly, the realisation of what he has done hits him once more, he's deathly afraid of facing Vasilios's wrath after all of these is finally over. What is he going to do? How is he going to explain this to his parents? How is he going to explain it to Thomas and Tamia?
So many things needs to be done! He can't do all of those—
"Bud! Pull ya shit together man, we gotta find (common mispronunciation of your name)!" Lizard patted him on the cheek, some, actually most of his facial oil transferred to Lizard's palm.
"No! What the heck was I thinking, Liz!? I can't— I can't face Mister Vasilios after this! He- he's gonna hate me for life!" Thor squealed as he grabbed onto Lizard's arms. The adrenaline rush pumping around Thor's bloodstream made him squeeze him extra hard.
"Dude! You're scared of rapunzel? What is he gonna do, choke you with his hair?" Lizard tried to pull his limbs away from the chubby man, but his strength was surprisingly... impressive.
"Guy can't even handle milk! What makes ya think he's tough?!" Thor smirked a bit before furrowing his eyebrows.
"Wait, how do you know he's lactose intolerant?" Good, now Lizard got him distracted from his fear.
"Bro, I saw what's in his fridge before. For some reason, he had a bunch of Spronk cans and a carton of Almond Milk— I mean, c'mon. What non-lactose intolerant psychopath would drink that? I mean... he's kinda a psychopath 'cause he's a huge jerk but— ya get my point. Literally, no one drinks those, cause they suck ass." Lizard made a retching noise which made Thor giggle a bit.
"Yeah.. I guess— b-but I-I can't go to jail! How am I gonna explain to everyone? How am I gonna explain to my parents? How am I gonna—"
"Hey like, when you jack off, do you rip your dick off clean?" Thor made an offended gasp and his face turned beet red.
"Liz! What the heck!?" He slapped him on the arm.
"No dude, I'm serious. Do you like, remove your cock? Let it bleed like ya on yer man period?" Lizard deadpanned.
"What does this gotta do with anything!? Why did you ask that!? It's so weird!" Thor instinctly covered his privates.
"Dude, like, yes or no—"
"No! Of course I don't... tear my junk off! What is wrong with you!?" Thor yelled, he knows that there's something wrong with Lizard, but he never expected it to be this bad.
"Exactly dude, ya don't rip it off." Thor lets out an exasperated groan.
"What!? I—You're— you're crazy—"
"Ya take it slow and steady, one fap at a time. Sure, ya can do quick, but literally no one rips it off. Unless those sickos but— anyways, yes, You got a lot of shit to do after this is over." Lizard placed his hands on his hips.
"One step at a time. Cut it down to nice, pleasurable faps, dude. Focus on the shit we gotta do now, worry about everything else later."
"B-but—"
"Dude, we haven't even seen this Harrods chick and rapunzel's gee-eff. Once we get to the point where (common mispronunciation of your name) is back home safe, we'll sort the explainin' out, okay?" Lizard calmly told him.
"Now I need ya to focus on this shit. I'm no fortune teller but I know that shit's gonna turn out fine at the end. Don't worry bout the crap ya haven't even seen yet." Lizard patted him on the shoulders.
"Worrying about everything ALL at once is like rippin your dick off—Don't go rippin your own dick off, that shit hurts!" Thor paused for a while to think about it.
"Yeah? Cool? We cool, Thor?" Lizard brought two thumbs up.
Thor sighed and rubbed his temples as he goes back to the scooter.
"That was a terrible analogy, Liz." He mumbled as he reignited the engine. Lizard grinned and hopped on as well.
"You could have used food buffet or something, not— whatever the heck you just said... that was fricking weird, Liz. Eww..." Thor shuddered.
"I know, Thorky. I know." Lizard ruffled his hair.
______________________________________________
A/n: THANK U @animeotaku FOT THE WONDERFUL BLACK AND WHITE FANART OF VASILIOS OMG HE LOOKKS SO HANDSOME ❤️❤️❤️❤️💖💖💕💕❤️💕💖💕💘💘
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
THANK U SO MUCH AND PLEASE CHECK OUT THEIR ART BOOK🥺❤️❤️❤️💕💕💖💞💞💓💯💯💯
