Red Roses, Aster, and Peonies

4

Alfred hummed to himself, tracing a hand over the stripes on his stomach. It was early, about three am maybe. He'd had a nightmare, again. He didn't remember what it was about. Ivan hadn't woken up, luckily, but he'd taken a shower to wash the sweat away.

He could hear Hero muttering in the bathroom about kicking kittens. That was the only noise. That was the worst part. It was silent. Silent was bad.

Glaring down at himself in the full body mirror, he dug his finger into his skin, feeling his body immediately try to heal as he dragged it over the brown of his skin.

He felt a hand on his hip, and another grabbed his arm, and he jumped. His body got pulled back, and the arm on his hip wrapped around his waist.

He felt the tickle of breath on his hair and grimaced, completely able to see the purple eyes watching him in the mirror.

"Go back to sleep," Alfred said softly, his gaze going to the floor. He felt Ivan pull his arm more away from his body before his other arm wrapped around his waist and he rested his head on his shoulder.

"No," Ivan replied sharply, "is this what you do when I'm asleep?"

"No..." Alfred replied, feeling the tingle as Ivan rested his head on his neck, his hair digging into his skin.

"How can I be sure?" Ivan whispered, tracing along his stripes, watching Alfred settle down out of the corner of his eye. He could hear the Americans breath falter as he kissed his shoulder up to his neck, running his arms along his stomach.

"I don't!" Alfred tried to defend himself, feeling Ivan's arms tighten around his waist. It was warm.

Ivan was silent, nuzzling into his shoulder and feeling Alfred squirm, getting his arms out of the hug so that he could hold onto his lovers, leaning his head on his.

Alfred saw Ivan's eyes watch the mirror. Watch him move without looking at him.

"Why are you so beautiful?"

"Huh?" Alfred replied immediately, jumping. He tried to escape for a few seconds, before stilling.

Ivan stood up, towering over him, smiling lightly, "Why am I even asking myself this? Of course you are," he bent down just slightly, pecking Alfred on the lips when he tilted his head, before whispering against his lips, "I don't deserve you."

Alfred was still, staring ahead. Not at the person who loved him so dearly. It was so sweet that he felt sick. He didn't deserve this treatment! He didn't deserve this!

He felt like he was in danger. He also knew he wasn't... but it was like he was.

"Shh," Ivan said softly, cupping his cheeks and running thumb under his eyes, "don't cry, it's okay."

"I... I... no. No no no!" Alfred whined, tears streaming down his face, "Please... please don't say that!"

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," Ivan whispered, pulling Alfred as close as he could, still giving him space to escape if he needed too.

"Why do you treat me like something you want to keep?" Alfred asked softly, sniffling a little.

"Because I do, little dove," Ivan replied, leaning their foreheads together, "I do, that's why I want to make sure you aren't getting hurt or hurting yourself. You don't deserve it. Look at yourself. Please, try to see what I see."

He glanced over at the mirror, feeling Ivan release him and back away.

It was more difficult to look into the mirror when he was being stared down. He pushed himself to put his hands in his pockets. All he wanted was to slice his skin.