Obsession [Jacob Latimore]

°Because, I Love You°

::Jacob::

After finding my multiple medications, I closed the mirror cabinet. I then locked myself in my bathroom. Going back over to the sink, I looked at all of my medications. There was eight of them. (One). Anti-Bipolar Meds, (Two). Schizophrenic Antidotes, (Three). Anti-Depression Meds, (Four). Psychosis Decreasing Meds, (Five). Night Tactical Antidotes, (Six). Anger-Controlling Meds, (Seven). Pain Killers, and (Eight). Inner-Minute Explosive Disorder Depressants. They all have a different side effect, depending on the dose of each. Some have effects on others in which can cause me to act worse than I do when I don't take them. I looked at how many I needed to take. I wasn't even thinking if I would overdose or not. But if I did, who would care? After staring at them for a long while, I just took one of my anti-bipolar meds. It was the only one to not have that big of an effect on me. Which I loved, it just kept me calm.

Although I didn't care for my other medications, I knew I'd be bound to take them sooner or later. As I poured one of each Med into my hand, I looked up and looked at myself in the mirror. Something I hadn't done in a while. I looked as if I hadn't slept in days. The bags under my eyes caused me to look tiresome and sad. I set the pills aside for a moment, staring long and hard at my features. Who would I be if I lived my life based on medicine? A nobody. I would never be myself again and I don't want that. I am made the way I am supposed to be and no one can change that but myself. Unfortunately, for many, I'm not going to change anything. I will stay just the way I am as long as I know I can eventually be happy and free. I might be psychotic but I don't care. It's who I supposed to be. I live for it and killing myself, would just be a waste.

"Jacob?" I heard Serenity's voice ask innocently, seeming as if she'd been crying.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior. I never meant to hurt you." Serenity explained.

I sighed. "Apology accepted Serenity."

"Will you come out, please?" Serenity asked.

I took a few minutes to place everything back where it belonged, not even taking those meds after all. I unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out, to see Serenity standing there.

"Are you okay?" Serenity asked.

"Yeah, I'm cool. And don't even ask what happened. I didn't mean to go off like that." I explained.

"But I wanted to know -" I cut her off.

"Just save it. I don't feel like talking." I said calmly.

I slightly pushed passed her and made my way to the kitchen. I could feel her following behind me. But, I didn't understand why.

"Lance called." She said.

"Okay." I said as I looked in my refrigerator.

"He was wondering where I was." Serenity continued.

"And?" I asked.

"I told him I was with you." Serenity said.

I stopped fidgeting around for food and stood up. I turned to her. She looked at me as she played with her nails. She gave me an innocent look yet it read a sign of yearn all over it. I finally got her, but I needed more. I smirked to myself and walked towards her. She smiled warmly, looking up at me.

"So what did he say?" I asked.

"Of course, he was mad but I said he had nothing to worry about." She explained.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"No, he breathed deeply and hung up." She said simply.

I nodded my head and turned away from her. My manipulation qualities are working.