VITRIOL | Shane Walsh

XXV

I finally stopped screaming when I was physically exhausted and exchanged it for a more silent sob as a single gunshot echoed throughout the factory. Through my blurred vision, I could see the usual workers who occupied the ground floor were nowhere to be seen and the logical explanation was that they had moved upstairs to try and avoid danger if the walkers were to get in.

Negan had erased any trace of sadness as we reached the noisy floor and guided Father Gabriel around the corner. A threatening whistle silenced the hallway and when we stepped into view, everyone kneeled. 

"I am guessing that a lot of you fine folks thought I was dead," he stated while Gabriel kneeled on the floor and Shane rested me on my own feet. "Well...here's a little refresher on who the hell I am.  I wear a leather jacket, I have Lucille and my nutsack is made from steel. I am not dying until I am DAMN good and ready." He separated me and Shane by using Lucille to push him to Gabriel's side.

"Now if you would all excuse me, I am in deep need of a sandwich, a shower, and Pricilla here has had a rough day and needs to see Dr.Carson. And after that, we have some serious business to attend to"

I started to choke up again as Negan made a display of Simon in front of everyone, criticizing how everything went wrong so quickly. The workers deeply appreciated his return and that shocked Gabriel. He wasn't aware of how dependent Sanctuary was on their ruthless leader like I and Shane were and Negan had no problem rubbing that in his face.

"Gentlemen, gently take them to number two, gently." Negan nodded as four men walked up to Gabriel and Shane. The priest evidently didn't know what that meant but Shane did. Surprisingly though he didn't put up a fight and let himself be carried off. A hand was placed on my lower back and I was gently guided to the bedroom which I previously lived in. 

- - -

"This was all I could find in your size, sorry it's not your colour." He handed me a murky green pair of joggers to go with his plain white t-shirt he let me borrow from his wardrobe. 

"It's fine" I mumbled 

I was sat on the sofa in the main living area after having a shower in Negans room and was feeling under the weather. It had been so long since I had been alone with him and instead of me comforting him, he comforted me.

"Hey, stop beating yourself up about it."

"I can't, It was all my fault"

"Cut that shit out. Rick decided to bring the walkers, not you. Like I said he can't help but get people killed." 

I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. On the top of my knees, I rested my cheek and looked at the man now casually dressed in a matching shirt to mine. He'd just returned from a meeting on the current situation.

"I just miss him so much already" I whispered and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"I know, he was a good kid"

"What's going to happen with Shane?" I questioned and he sighed. He looked like he completely forgot about that topic until I had just brought it up now and I honestly didn't know what the outcome would be.

"To be honest babe, I don't know. If he stays here, he'll rot in a cell. If he leaves he'll find Rick again and do more damage. I don't think playing Easy Street over and over again will crack the totem pole.  If burning his face off doesn't sway us back to our side then I don't want to say what will happen next. Dwight had a word with him and he's pretty pissed. Thinks I'm responsible for Caleb."

My blame was with no one but myself at this point. I was the one who should've stayed home with my injury and then he wouldn't have had to sacrifice his life for me. Shane being the hot-head he was would in no way waver from his blame, however. He would probably much rather die than take orders from the man who was responsible for his son's death.

I had to get him out; I was a liability now and could no longer help with anything. Carson said I was out for a week and within that time Shane would be pushed to his limits. Dwight was a clear way out for him if he was still to be trusted. One man could easily slip through the herd as soon as his opportunity was open

"I think you should come with me to talk to Rick next time. The widow-"

I glared at him as he used that nickname.

"Sorry- Maggie will listen to you. but for now...go get some sleep. I'll go and see what's been scrapped together for dinner"

- - - 

While Negan was gone I snuck off and found Dwight smoking in the stairwell. I begged and begged for him to arrange a plan of escape for Shane and he finally agreed when I brought up the whole iron to the face thing. Obviously a sensitive spot had been touched and he didn't want another person to meet the same grizzly fate.

"How are you holding up?" He asked and I scrunched up my face.

"I just feel like shit."

"That's expected. I'm real sorry for you"

"Thanks" I sighed. I knew he meant well but his apology still wasn't going to bring my baby back. "Hey, Dwight?"

"Yeah?"

"You got a paper and a pen on you?" He patted around in his pockets before producing a scrunched up piece and a nearly empty biro. He handed them over and I began to scribble down a few words.

Please don't fight him, leave me behind. I'll always find you.

"Give him this, please. It'll save you and anyone else he finds on his way to get me from a black eye and broken nose."

- - -

Flashback

"Can you say, Mama?" I opened and closed my mouth in a silly manner as little baby Caleb was sat in my lap. He started to gurgle out random sounds and was wobbling in-between 'ma' and 'pa' sounds. I was determined for him to say my name first yet he was so hesitant to say his first word.

I looked up from my spot on the floor when the front door opened in front of us. Shane had finished his shift at the station and walked in with a large bag of Macdonalds in his hands despite my nagging for him to lay off the fast food. However, he had been at work all day and it was his first one this week.

"How's my little boy doing?" He happily questioned and I raised my hand telling him to stop in his spot. He crouched down and put his drink and bag on the carpet.

"Caleb's picked up a cute little trick, haven't you?" I wiped a bit of dribble off his face before lifting him up onto his two feet. I slowly removed my arms as he wobbled about a bit but he soon started to waddle over to his dad. Shane opened up his arms encouraging his son to walk the short distance but grinned in disbelief when Caleb veered off course and headed straight for the food.

Shane swooped him into his lap which caused the boy to giggle and he produced a single fry for him to chew on. He shuffled to close the door and I shuffled closer to the two most important men in my life.

"You couldn't have given him some actual baby food from the fridge?" I teasingly scolded.

"Nah, He cant bulk up for the football squad on the mixed berry mush you feed him. If he wants to get in that 22 jersey we've got to start young with the carbs" He joked. We both laughed at his ridiculous analogy. 

Caleb began to fidget around in Shane's lap when he finished his food and managed to grip the hair on the side of his head with a strange amount of force for a baby. He started to gurgle again and Shane's eyes lit up in excitement.

"Are you gonna say Papa?" he encouraged as multiple sounds were made. "Come on you can say it"

"P..Pa...Papa" He finally said and his Dad was obviously overjoyed.

"Are you kidding me!" I said in disbelief. "I have been trying all day"

"Aww don't worry, he's always gonna be a momma's boy. But right now...looks like I'm the favourite."

- - -

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