You're My Sol

Chapter 14

Marisol

guess what!

Sent 9:42, sunday

Penny

What?

Sent 9:45, Sunday

Marisol

jake asked me to be his girlfriend!

Sent 9:45, Sunday

Penny

And what did you say?

Sent 9:45, Sunday

Marisol

i said yes!!

Sent 9:46, Sunday

Penny

OMG! I'm so happy for you!

Sent 9:49, Sunday

Marisol

<3 i'm so excited~

Sent 9:50, Sunday

Penny

I hope it works out for you.

Sent 9:55, Sunday

Marisol

me too

Sent 9:55, Sunday

I buried my head in my hands. That was it then, I lost her. Any hope I had that Marisol return my feelings was crushed.

I fell onto my bed, curling up under my comforter. I didn't know what to do. My stomach hurt from thinking about her. I really, really liked Marisol.

And she had a boyfriend.

I tossed and turned the entire night, unable to fall asleep. Marisol was on my mind. How could I be friends with her when it hurt to even think about her? How could I sit with her and laugh and talk, knowing that she didn't like me back?

How could I get over her?

* * *

At lunch Marisol told the group that she and Jake were an item. I smiled. She told me first. The thought gave me butterflies.

They kept talking and eating lunch while I tried to hide my emotions. I shoved them deep down, where they wouldn't bother anyone but me.

The bell rang and we headed to class.

"Hey," I asked Marisol. "Wanna hang out later today?" It was one of the rare days we didn't have track practice.

She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm gonna be at Jake's today."

My heart dropped. She was going to Jake's house. I should have known she was going to spend more time with her boyfriend, but it still felt like a weight on my chest, one that I couldn't quite get rid of.

I turned around to see Ashlynn behind me. I didn't know where this spur of the moment confidence came from. Maybe I wanted to make Marisol jealous. "Hey Ashlynn?"

"Mhm?"

"Wanna hang out later?" I asked. Marisol looked at me funny.

"Sure!" Ashlynn said. "Where do you wanna go?"

I shrugged. "Wanna come over?"

Ashlynn smiled. "Just like old times," she laughed. "I haven't been to your house in forever! So why not?"

Marisol pushed past me and walked into her class. Ashlynn gave me a questioning look. I could only shrug.

* * *

"So then, I was like 'what, you think you're better than me, just because you're a cheerleader? No way.' And then she was like 'I don't think I'm better than you because I'm a cheerleader, I think I'm better than you because you're ugly.' The audacity! Can you believe that?" Ashlynn looked at me. "Penelope? Are you even listening?"

I snapped out of my trance. I was thinking about Marisol, and why she acted so weird when I asked Ashlynn to hang out with me.

"Penelope!" She said.

I raised my hands and laughed. "I was just thinking about how bitchy that was. Like, can you believe her?"

Ashlynn's anger melted away. "I know, right? Like, imagine saying that to someone's face? So then Jessica came in to the rescue. She was like 'if Ash is ugly, then you must be fucking hideous.' Oh my god, you should have seen the look on her face!"

I was barely listening. Marisol might stop being my friend. She might spend all her time with her boyfriend. She was already too busy for me.

I realized that Ashlynn had stopped talking, and that was my cue. I laughed. "I bet it was hideous."

Ashlynn cracked up. "It was! But that's Jessica for you. Always there for her friends. One time, we were hanging out last year and this guy came up to Kate. He asked her out and she was so flattered. She was about to say yes when the guy laughed in her face and said it was just a dare. Kate literally started crying.

"But you know what Jessica did? She got all up in his face and was like 'it's crazy how you need someone to dare you to go up to a pretty girl, because you would have been too much of a pansy to do it on your own.'

"He then said Kate wasn't even pretty, and Jessica said that he wouldn't know pretty if it looked him in the mirror. Not that it ever would. God, Jessica is so awesome."

For some reason, hearing about this hurt. I should have been happy that my friends had so many good memories, but it was a sharp pain to remember that I wasn't there. My friends were happy without me.

Everyone seemed to be happy without me.

* * *

After Ashlynn left, I was home alone. My parents were at work and Andrew was wherever Andrew went during the day. I wouldn't know.

I thought back to the weekend, how running made me feel free. I didn't think, I just ran. I needed that right about now.

I laced up my shoes and walked outside. It was still bright enough to get a couple miles in. Perfect. I started running, down the street and to the park. I figured I could outrun my thoughts.

This time, I couldn't.

Everyone seemed to be better off without me. Marisol was having so much fun with her boyfriend. Ashlynn spent hours talking to me about how fun life was before I rejoined the group. My brother didn't care enough to ask me about why I was alone after dark.

No one cared about me.

I tripped over a rock and stumbled. I didn't get up. Maybe I should have just lied on the ground for a while. It was what I deserved, anyway.

I sighed, pushing myself up. I had to go, I couldn't wallow in my misery forever. The sun was about to set and I was a few miles from home. My knees were bloody and scraped, but I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was run home.

* * *

I opened the door and walked into the kitchen. My parents were staring down my brother. Nobody moved.

"Penelope. Go to your room," my dad growled.

I shivered. My dad could be terrifying. I ran out of the room and up to bed. That night, I went to sleep without dinner.