Bad boy bible school: A parody of every wattpad cliché under the sun

chapter 5: 1D and BTS: battle of the bands

WARNING: this chapter might offend some people (mainly kpop and BTS stans) so if you're a kpop stan i really do suggest you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read with caution, i REALLY don't want #FreshlySqueezedMemesIsOverParty trending on twitter tomarrow! Okay? Okay...now onto the show!

Today was just another monday...ugh, i hate mondays...i mean..i don't REALLY hate mondays, i just wanted to make a garfield reference there lmao! Anyway, i heard from kamille the other day that stephanie and her minions (and no, i'm not talking despicible me) were being hospitalized after what happened at the party, it's said that they're getting out the day after tomarrow. Finally...i get to breathe that delicious, delicious air without those hoes polluting it, even if it's just for a few days! I walked through the doors listening to karma chameleon by culture club on my iphone 6, ugh...why was i born in this generation? I wish i was born in the 1300's where there was no water or electricity and everyone died of the plague! Oh dearie me! I almost forgot to describe my outfit! So i had my disgusting black and white hair that never tangles and is always shiny and sleek in a messy ponytail and was wearing a colbalt tube-top with "fugly slut" written in white cursive standard bold, a rose-tinted jacket, a darker colbalt miniskirt, some rose and colbalt striped socks and ugg boots.

I was about to go talk with my besties until suddenly...i heard the distinct noise of skateboard wheels rolling towards me and....a voice! "Crunch crunch give me your teeth" it was text-to-speech, i looked around thinking it was gilbert but i was surprised to see it was...my classmate mike? After getting a good at him up close i saw that he (obviously) was made of cardboard just like gilbert, in other words, just my type! Excuse me as i go swoon in the corner. But also! He had blonde hair that was duct-taped to one side and an orange rubber band on the other, he had a perminant green-eyed wink-and-smirk and was wearing a blue shirt that had a white heart and the word "piss" written on it, the shirt was being held up by leopard-print duct tape, on his back were angel wings made out of paper and on his stickman feet, some blue yeezys

"Salutations, you're ashe, right, i'm mike, mike hunt. I heard you were friends with my little brother gilbert, y'know you're pretty damn cute, wanna be my minecraft girlfriend" mike says, god he's so cute but i can't say yes...I LOVE GILBERT!!! "I AM ashe but uhh...NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE, BAKABAKABAKABAKA!!!!" I scream and run off, but mike kept following me! "Wait, ashe, you have such pretty teeth, i wanna get to know you, please, like i'm serious your teeth are perfection" he said, suddenly gilbert rolls up to us on his skateboard! "Mikey what are you doing" gilbert asks, and then they started arguing right there! I wonder why...i mean i heard one of them say something about liking me but that couldn't be what they're arguing about! Anyways i walked up to my bestest besties to ever bestie, kamille and Y/N. Kamille was writing something down in her fortnite spiral notebook and Y/N was playing a game on their PSP, "hey y'all! What'cha writing, kami?" I ask, kamille looks up at me with an ominous expression, "just plotting donald trump's death" she says, i chuckle, "heh...alrighty then! Sooo..." i begin, "sometimes i feel like i don't belong in this town, like most girls like pink, i like red! Some like kpop and...i like simple plan!!!" I say, almost crying. The two chuckle a teensy bit, "Y/N and i run the outcast club, you can join if you'd like!" Kamille responds, i sigh, "aww...relationship goals! I'm fine though, i don't need to join any club though" i say. Suddenly that furfag amber showed up! "Hi guys! Hey ashe! Have you changed your mind on wanting to be my friend yet?" She says to me, god..."NO!!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!" I scream, amber chuckles, "kami, Y/N, your new friend is so tsundere! It's kawaii" she says, i was in shock! "Y-you guys KNOW this clown!?!?" I ask to kamille and Y/N, "yep, we've been friends before you were even in this school" Y/N says, that's when suddenly....7 korean men broke through the ceiling! They were none other than.....

BTS!!!!

Many girls my age ran up to these peculiar fellas screaming and jumping around, hell! I even swear i saw some with anime heart-eyes! The leader started speaking though i couldn't understand a lick of what he said because it's in korean and there are no subtitles, though i'll just tell you what they're saying in english because the author can't be bothered to make all their dialouge korean.

"Greetings mortals, we are here to kidnap the protagonist of this story...hmmm...YOU THERE MISS!!!" He points to me and the 7 of them gang up to me and pick me up! "N-no! STOP! Why are you doing this?" I asked with fear, "BECAUSE YOU'RE THE PROTAGONIST!!!" One of them replies, suddenly...one direction falls from the hole BTS made! "NOT IF WE HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT YA CHEEKY TARTS!!!" Harry screams at the top of his lungs, "and we do! Put the lass down mate!" Niall added. The boys dropped me onto the ground and whipped out their joana ceddia microphones, "okay, fine... we'll let her go, but ONLY IF you beat us....IN A BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!" They all collectively declared, pointing their microphones at 1D. Harry looked to louis, louis looked to niall, niall looked to zayn and zayn looked to liam. "Yea sure whatever" harry responded, suddenly a stage ascended from beneath their feet! I immediantly got up and jumped off the stage, i GOTTA get a front-row seat to this! The two groups sang a mashup of fake love and what makes you beautiful as a massive crowd of excited fans screamed and roared. BTS only got through the first few verses before 1D took over, the crowd kept chanting "BTS! BTS! BTS!" And the 7 boys sang, no...SCREAMED the last few verses of 'fake love' before 1D could get to the "nananana" part of 'what makes you beautiful.' I cheered for 1D as they ARE my parents of course, plus i don't wanna be kidnapped by some korean men, that would piss the kpop stans off like hell! "Fuck...you guys are good...but can you beat THIS!!?!??" Zayn huffs, suddenly the 5 men started floating and glowing, each member had a different color glow, they started singing best song ever as lightning struck in the background, i was cheering them on more than ever by now, my vocal chords started to strain but i kept on going! BTS started floating and glowing too and they started singing their song louder than bombs though they weren't doing a mashup, they were just singing their songs normally, albiet a bit screamy. After all that cheering, my vocal chords were completely strained...i couldn't cheer 1D on anymore...i watched as 2 strange rainbow beams emitted from all 12 men and the beams aimed in the opposite directions, fighting for dominance...BTS' beam was almost about to overpower 1D's beam, it was the end....but suddenly...

Kamille, Y/N, mike, gilbert, amber, even hatsune miku and raymond from animal crossing were cheering 1D on! And effectively, their beam completely overpowered BTS' beam as they sang the last verse of 'best song ever' and they fucking launched BTS about 5 miles away! Maybe even further! The remainder of the school day was spent just like how you'd expect, fans were asking questions, taking pictures with 1D and hell, i even confessed to the whole school that they were my adoptive parents! I immediantly became 5 times more popular that day! At the end of the day we came home and did our usual evening things, i slept like the dead that night

Stephanie, lexis and rachel are gonna be shooketh when they come back

Hey guys, thanks for reading this chapter! I'm sorry i didn't use an actual picture of BTS for the cover of this chapter and that i didn't refer to the members by their names, i was too lazy to go on google! That and i'm not that big of a kpop fan, i prefer 1D, girl in red, lemon demon, etc. Sooo uhh..yeah! I'll be updating this fanfic very soon! In the meantime, please stay safe!