(I WAS 14 AND VERY IGNORANT WHEN I WROTE THIS)
Ashe sansker was just a normal 16 year old girl with a normal life until her druggie parents die and she gets adopted by...one direction? Watch as she goes to a new school, makes new besties, falls in l...
It was 2am, the night RIGHT before those thots were to come back from the hospital, i was doing my usual nighttime things, sleeping, questioning my existence, waking up, crying for a good 5 minutes and breathing some air. Until suddenly...i heard some music outside! It sounded like say anything by girl in red, i got up and looked out my window...it was gilbert in my garden on his skateboard holding a boombox over his head with his hoodie sleeves and mexican bootleg lightning mcqueen by his side, i'm assuming that's what he used to drive here. I didn't think of how he knew where i lived or why he's here and immediantly got dressed into the most edgy outfit i could find, gotta dress to impress y'know? I put my hair up in a ponytail with a red spiky band, put on a bright cyan spiky choker, a dark grey crop top with the word "edgy" written in all capital letters, black fishnet arm-warmers, a bright red skirt with a spiky cyan band around the waist and some cyan sneaker/boot thingies with a spiky red band around the top, after that i was ready to go!
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I went downstairs and went out the front door, suddenly i heard the door open again, i looked behind me and saw zayn!
"Who's there? Ashe? Dat you luv?"
"Uhhh...no? It's not me"
"Oh my bad m8, cheerio!"
Phew...that was a close one! I walked off the porch and into the garden (not the front yard, just the garden...i'm not british if you couldn't tell) "hi gilbert! What are you doing here?" I asked, gilbert turned off the boombox and put it in the trunk of his car, "took you long enough, i'm just here because i wanted to hang out with you" he explained. I was shocked! Gilbert? Wanting to hang out with ME? "R-really? I...i'd love to!" I answered, blushing. And so we both entered lightening mcqueen (not in a sexual way lol) and off we went! As we were driving, it was rather quiet so i decided to ask a question, "so what do you like to do?" I asked, gilbert didn't respond at first but what he said made me rather shooketh, "well, i like to watch anime and hentai, go on disneychannel.com without my mom's permission, step on ants, practice my yo mama jokes, break rules and simultaneously whip and nae nae" he answered, good lord i wanted to bust a nut right then and there! "Oh r-really? I like...uhhh...video games, eating chapstick, crying and breathing air..." i mumbled, "that and uhh...this might sound w-weird but...i th-think i might be an objectophiliac" i stammered really quickly at the end, although gilbert couldn't show human emotion, i could tell he was intrigued. "I'm an object, do you love me" he asks, i blush, "i mean....you're a pretty great guy! I think i do...i'm not sure yet though" i said, though i wasn't showing my true, true feelings, i wanted to steal him away from that whore stephanie, i wanted to give him a massive smooch on his stupid sharpie mouth, etc. "I see" he says, i rest my head on my hand, "so where are we going?" I ask, gilbert chuckles in his infamous dead soulless voice, "wow, for such a pretty face you sure do ask a loat of questions. We're going to my special place, aka klischee forest" he explains, stroking my face with one hoodie sleeve and attempting to run his "fingers" through his wig with the other, suddenly we arrive at the forest and i feel the car run over a bump, huh....i didn't know there were speed bumps in forests! We get out of the car and sit on a nearby log, "wow...it's so beautiful out here..." i comment with an arm around gilbert's shoulder, "yeah, it's just me you and the moon" he replied, suddenly the moon grew a face! "Hey! You two should kiss!" It says before becoming faceless again, gilbert looks to me, "heh, maybe we should" he said, i was speechless! Gilbert "chuckles" and gets really close to me and puts his sleeves on my shoulders, "the real reason why i brought you here is because....i love you bitch, i ain't ever gonna stop loving you, bitch....please be my girlfriend" he "whispers" in my ear, i'd be lying if i said i wasn't all like this:
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"G-gillie! You already HAVE a girlfrie-!" I was interrupted by gilbert putting his hoodie sleeve up to my lips, "shuh-uh-uh-uh-uh-ush, fuck that bitch, she doesn't need to know" he says, i blush and close my eyes, "shit you right" and we started kissing for a good 10 seconds, after that we fell off the log and started passionately making out (don't ask how that works) things were starting to get a little uhh...intimate before i noticed something by the car...it was a corpse! I screamed and we both got up, "oh shit we ran over someone with my car" gilbert says, that explains the weird bump we ran over earlier! Upon further expection the dude looked rather familiar...i think i've seen him before...what was that fucker's name again? Needle karrotcake or somethin'? Idk i think he said something about kanye west liking fingers in his ass or something that one time. "Get in the car now, i don't want the cops to get us" gilbert says, i was rather skeptical at first, the cops are gonna find us anyway, like the dude's blood is pretty much pink glowstick fluid and is all over the front of lightening mcqueen! Though i didn't say anything because i was too scared and turned on to care all that much. We went back in the car and drove to le watté paede park, we parked our car by the playground and we both lost our virginities under the slide (again, don't ask how that works). After that i heard a familiar bitchy, high-pitched voice from behind
"BERTIE BABY!!! HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH THINGS WITH THAT BITCH!!!"
IT WAS STEPHANIE!!!! She was wearing her hair down with a bandage over her right eye and was wearing a neck brace, a hospital gown, a bandage on her right arm, a hot pink cast on her left leg, a bandage on her right leg and several hot-pink band-aids all over
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Jesus christ, did i really beat that bitch up that bad? "It's too late stephie, we're over, i love ashe now" gilbert "screamed" at the mango flavoured hoe biscuit. Stephanie growled and stomped over to us, "YOU- ow my leg...Y-YOU ASSHATS!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ASHE YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!" She screamed and started charging toward me...until....
"NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, YOU VILLAIN!!!!!"
To be continued...
Who is this mysterious individual and why are they helping ashe? Find out next time on bad boy bible school!
Author's note: thanks for reading this chapter, i had a lot of fun writing it! To be honest i kinda pulled the "ashe and gilbert fucked at a playground" part out of my ass, like that wasn't originally apart of the plans i wrote down lol...also, for all you awesome danganronpa fans out there, that whole needle karrotcake, kanye west liking fingers up his ass and pink glowstick fluid thing was a reference! Specifically to nagito komaeda and the "fingers in his ass sunday" thing! I'm not in the DR fandom but i really like that meme and wanted to reference it lol, anyways, i hope you have a wonderful day/night!
