Bad boy bible school: A parody of every wattpad cliché under the sun

chapter 8: Take em to the ranch!

It was the next morning, and like any other morning, i got dressed into my aqua tube top with "fugly slut" written on it in cumulus cursive and matching miniskirt, blood red jacket, aqua and blood red kneesocks, ugg boots and i put my hair in a ponytail. I went to do my usual morning things when suddenly, i heard louis' voice call me downstairs!

"Oi ashe! Come down 'ere ya lil twat! You got yehself some visitors innit"

I come downstairs to see some police guys by the door, i was shocked! "POLICE BETCH!!! We are here because we heard that you ran over someone with your car!" One of them said. I raised an eyebrow, "what? No i didn't! That was my boyfriend" i said, the officers pulled out their guns and shot at me, missing all 3 times and could have hit morty if it wasn't for his excellent reflexes. "NO THAT WAS YOU BECAUSE PLOT CONVENIENCE!!! YOU'RE COMING WITH US RIGHT NOW WEITHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!" One of the cops screamed, i growled..."YOU PIGS WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!" I was about to run into my room and out the window but when i did, more cops were there and held me back, i struggled and struggled but they wouldn't let go, "you're going to be staying in prison for the rest of the month!" One of the cops say

After a while i finally arrive at gay baby jail, *sigh* how could this happen to me? I am but a sweet summer peach that didn't do anything wrong! I mean i ONLY assaulted 3 girls, fled the scene of a murder and resisted arrest! Ah well, at least i can reinact "orange is the new black" with my inmates while i'm here...suddenly i get a call from 1D! I answered the phone,

"Hello?"

I hear harry's voice from the other side, "ello luv, sorry 'bout what 'appened to ya! Just know that we're all in this toget'er so see ya when ya get back" he says before hanging up. I think and think for about 3 hours, when suddenly i get an idea! If i'm gonna be in a prison full of lesbians and such, i might as well look the part! I cut my ponytail off leaving super short hair, unbutton my orange shirt, put on a black and white striped tube top, cut my orange pants short and beat the shit out of myself until the jailer tells me to stop

I start playing danganronpa on my playstation vita for a while and i think to myself "oh wow this place sure is despairful, but how can i get out? I could...use wattpad logic to get out? Nah...this chapter would be too short...i could...get morty to turn into his magical girl form and save me? Nah...he's probably too busy for me" i think for a while and suddenly i get an idea! "I know! I can annoy the jailers by singing songs! Prisons are known for songs after all!" I think, i think of a song and i begin to clear my throat. I knock on the wall to the beat of the instumental

"This is gospel...for the fallen ones, locked away in permanent slumber" i begin as loud as i can in my best indie girl impression, "assembling their philosophies, from pieces of broken memories, owo oh oh oh owo...this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart..." hmm...it seems they don't seem annoyed just yet, I NEED TO BE LOUDER!!!

"THE GNASHING TEETH, AND CRIMINAL TOUNGUES...CONSPIRE AGAINST THE ODDS....AND THEY HAVENT SEEN THE BEST OF US YEEETTTT" suddenly i drop the indie girl accent and just start screaming the lyrics from now on

"IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" i screech, i think i'm starting to get a little bit on their nerves now, i should keep going! "CAUSE THESE WORDS ARE KNIFES AND OFTEN LEAVE SCARS!! THE FEAR OF FALLING APART!! TRUTH BE TOLD I NEVER WAS YOURS....THE FEAR THE FEAR OF FALLING APART"

I swore i heard the jailer tell me to stop, but did i listen? No! "THIS IS GOSPEL...FOR THE VAGABONDS, NEVER DO WELLS AND INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS!!! CONFESSING THEIR APOSTASIES LEAD AWAY BY IMPERFECT IMPOSTERS!!!!" I screamed even harder and the other prisoners started cheering me on! Some were even singing along with me! "DON'T TRY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE END OF THE WORLD....AND BURY ME ALIVE!!! CAUSE I WON'T GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIIIGGHHHTT!!!!!" I think i popped some eardrums, but i didn't stop, i've gone too far! After i sang the last part of the song, everyone applauded me! I felt like a superstar! "Thank you! Thank you! Want me to do another one?" I announced to the whole prison, an overwhelming amount of people said yes so i sang high hopes and don't threaten me with a good time, i WAS halfway into death of a bachelor until the jailer finally said something, "JESUS CHRIST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCH!!!" They said, i scoff at them and reply with a short and sweet "no" and i continue singing, i finish the song and the prisoners cheer again! Some were even asking for an encore! "Good lord, please...if i let you go, will you stop singing?" The jailer begs on their knees, i smirk, "yep, but hold on a sec, they want an encore!" I say before singing i write sins not tragedies, i could have sworn i heard the jailer say something but i could hear what they said over the sound of my singing. As i sang i didn't feel like i was in jail, i felt like i was at my very own concert! I could just feel people recording the fancams for twitter! When i finally finished i noticed the jailer very loudly crying with their ears bleeding, eh...probably unrelated to my singing. Suddenly, they opened my cell, "please.....i've suffered enough...just leave and never come back" they say, a big, toothy grin stretches upon my face, my plan worked! "Oh thank you kindly sweetiekins! I'll go pack up right now!" I chirped as i packed up my PS VITA, my rose gold iphone 69 xs plus deluxe edition, my stash of unflavoured, unscented chapstick i bring with me in case of emergency, my stuart little plushie, my empty water bottles from my little mini concert, the clothes i brought with me and my band-aids all into my bag and left the cell, "cya beauties! Make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram, tiktok and liveleaaaak!!! Mmmwah!" I said to my adoring fans as i strutted out of the building.

When i finally reached the exit (my hair immediantly grew back to it's original length btw) i went on my phone and checked twitter, everywhere i looked people were posting fancams of me! From code lyoko parody accounts to the ratchet realm! Hell, even ray sipe made a parody! Not only that but i gained 2 million more followers and became verified! It's official, i am now an internet superstar! I called one direction, told them they let me out early and asked them to pick me up! After some time the 1D-mobile appeared and took me back home, what did i learn from this whole thing? Well...i'm definitely going to hell....and when i do i hope they serve gogurt there! When i went to school the next day everyone got up and started clapping as i entered the building, i went to talk to kamille and Y/N (remember them?) And we chatted for a while as gilbert and mike fight over me in the background! When suddenly, i heard the incredibly loud click of a high heel onto the floor, and another, and another until it evolves into walking, then i hear a voice...

"HAI PEASANTS!!! IT'S YA GURL STEPHANIE!!!! As you know, that SLUT ashe beat the shit out of me and my gurls and we had to be in that DISGUSTING hospital for a few days! But get this, MY EX GILBERT CHEATED ON ME WITH HER, LIKE OH. MAI. GAWD!!! So i'm now sing-galll!!! I'm lookin for a new boyfriend so which of you peasants are interested?"

It was stephanie! And at that moment, everyone turned on me, i no longer had 2 million followers on twitter, i wasn't verified anymore, everyone deleted the fancams and ray sipe deleted the parody he made! I was so depressed and i ran to the janitor's closet and started bawling my eyes out

Hey guys, thanks for reading! I know this might be obvious but ray sipe never made a parody of this shit, and please please PLEASE don't ask him to do so, i'd rather not see ray singing panic at the disco songs on my twitter timeline, also, even though i brought the game up twice, i've never played danganronpa, i'm not in the fandom and i don't think i'll ever play it in a long time, i just like the memes about it. Anyways, will update soon! Bye bye!