Bad boy bible school: A parody of every wattpad cliché under the sun

chapter 9: She was bad, but now she's good!

I cried for a good 5 minutes until i heard the door open, it was...low and behold, lemon demon herself! But i know for sure she's not here to sing about trucks having sex "What do you want from me you entitled simp magnet?" I asked angerly with tears streaming down my face like rivers, rachel rolled her eyes and sighed, "look hun it's not like this is easy for me either" she snarked, "i REALLY hate to say this but i need your help with something"

I wiped the tears off my face and growled, "i don't think i can trust you after the things you did to me! I WILL NOT help you!" I yell, i cross my arms and put my nose up in the air. Rachel puts her hands on my cheeks (the ones on my face) and i resist the urge to punch her in the face, "c'mon please? i can't ask anyone else!" She says, i vigorously shake my head to get her hands off my face, "no! Saying that won't make me trust you!" I grumbled. Rachel let out a tired sigh and  reached into her valentino white bag and pulled out some unflavoured, unscented chapstick as some metal straws and photos of BTS fall out, "does....ugh...THIS make you trust me?" She asked, holding the chapstick in disgust. I snatch the chapstick out of her hand and eat the entire thing, shell and all. "Okay fine..." i sigh and get up, "what do you need help with?"

Rachel's face became red and she looks down on the ground, "you see....i uhh...i kinda like stephanie, like in a homosexual way...and i've tried to make it a bit clear to her by flirting and such but she never notices it! I looked to you because you seem like a pro at this stuff considering you kinda stole her boyfriend from her" she explains, i cross my arms and smirk, "oh honey, i'm the protagonist of this fanfiction! That part comes naturally!" I giggle, "what?" Rachel says, "what?" I respond, we awkwardly stare at each other for a good 5 seconds until i break the silence, "anywho....yeah, i'll help ya! Meet me after school and we'll talk about our plans to get you two together!" I say

Timeskip brought to you by ginger ale because i can

About 20 minutes after that encounter with miss minute maid lemonade in the janitor's closet, i was walking out of mr. Radcliffe's classroom and was about to go to lunch when suddenly i was interrupted by the hot piece of ass that is mike! "Oh em gee hai mikey poo!" I greeted excitedly, "salutations, so i saw you talking with rachel. What's up with that" he asked, i sigh, "well she asked me to help her ask stephanie out on a date, i guess she's not straight after all!" I explained, "so does this mean you're friends with rachel now" mike asks, i think a bit and finally respond. "Yeah, i guess so, but knowing mean girls like her she's probably using me for some evil plan of hers, but i guess we never know" i said as i shrugged. "Be very careful, i'm enemies with stephanie's gang and i've seen them do some terrible things. You could be turning to the dark side just like gilbert did" mike warned, i laughed at this statement, seriously? ME going to the DARK SIDE? What is this, STAR WARS? "Look man, it's wonderful that you're looking out for me but i'll be alright!" I say reassuringly. Mike "kisses" me on the cheek, "sigh, i guess you're right dotdotdot, anyways do you play minecraft, we could be minecraft buddies" he asks, i smile at this adorably innocent question, "yeah, sometimes" i respond. I wasn't sure but i could tell he was excited, "yay, add me on xbox live. My gamertag is JesusLovesMike32." He replies, i write the gamertag down in one of my notebooks, "nice, thanks! My gamertag is AshyChan369" i grin, "i know this is unrelated but you have gorgeous teeth, like seriously they're like little pearls in your mouth, i want to have one of them as a keepsake" mike comments, i blush and smile at the ground for a moment, i may be dating gilbert but i'd leave him for mike in a heartbeat! Hell, i'd become polyamourous just to be with both of those dreamy pieces of cardboard! *moans aesthetically* mm yesss...oh dear! I'm getting ahead of my self, aren't i? "Honestly i wouldn't mind if you dotdotdot. Were my minecraft girlfriend too" mike flirts, my face turns a deeper shade of red, "r-really? I-i'll consider it" i respond, "anyways see you later good boy" i give him a playfully flirty wink and walk away

Timeskip brought to you by lady gaga's alejandro, the only song you'll ever need!

I walk out of the school to meet up with rachel, after some walking i finally find that lovely lady, and on her lonesome! How convieniant! "Hey rachel, so about those plans?" I question, rachel sighs, "i dunno...whatever i do doesn't work" she says, "well...what do you two have in common?" I ask, rachel thinks for a while, "well...we both hate global warming and we stan BTS" she explains, oh great...stephanie and her gang are a bunch of BTS stanning VSCO girls...disgusting! Though i'm trying to be nice here so i hide my true feelings with an awkward grin, "well maybe you could talk about those things with her and slowly move on to...y'know that gay shit" i suggested, "THEN you tell her how you feel! Or y'know...you don't HAVE to do all that and just tell her, you guys ARE friends, right?"

"Hmm... that sounds like a plan to me!" Rachel replies, i smile...huh! Maybe she isn't that bad after all! Maybe this is her redemption arc? "Y'know for a peasant you sure are nice" she comments, saying "peasant" in a disgusted tone...i change my mind, she's still her bitchy henchwoman self. "Thanks" i said, "well...anyways, see ya! We'll talk more about it tomarrow or so" i say as i walk away from her, somehow managing to not be noticed by stephanie and lexis who were walking up to rachel. Suddenly i start to think about this whole thing, was i really befriending one of my enemy's friends? Am i really turning to the dark side like mike said? Is this gonna be important to the plot of this story sometime soon? Probably not, the author probably only made this whole romantic subplot because she ships her own creations together! That sick fuck! Well...we never know...i stood in the driveway and listened to some queen and simple plan on my rose gold iphone 69 xs plus deluxe edition as i waited patiently for the 1D-mobile to come pick me up

Hello everyone! Thanks for reading this chapter! The next one might be posted a little sooner than the others because when i was drawing the cover for this chapter i thought it fit chapter 10 better so yeah...i won't be drawing a cover for the next chapter because i'm using a scrapped version of the one for THIS chapter for it, so kinda a win-win! I don't have to work as hard and you'll be getting a chapter sooner! Anyways, will update VERY soon! Bye-bye!