If You Ever Leave Me, Baby (Leave Some Morphine At My Door)

5

a/n: A lot about this is based on how I see them in the series. I have read the novel translation (although not entirely.) I try not to put very obvious spoilers and try and use certain traits/things subtly. If you know them then you know.
Edit: The translation I had read was taken down so I have no links to share. Sorry🙏

"What- what is this?"

"He had a chain. He hit with that."

"But why?!" Tine reaches out for the hand, holding it carefully. The smell of blood makes him nauseous. He tries to swallow that feeling down, his heart still beating loudly. Then he remembers. "What will you do today!"

"What do you mean?"

"You have the performance in two hours." Sarawat rolls his eyes. He smacks him. 

"Ouch! What was that for?!"

"I am serious."

"And I am not?" He wiggles his hand in his grip so Tine lets it go. "Why does no one believe what I have to say?" He breathes in sharply probably out of frustration but cries out in pain. "Dammit! What the fuck!" He curses. "What the fuck!" He leans his head back, eyes closed, lips pressed together.

Tine unsurely reaches out and places his hand on his thigh and rethinks and places it on the uninjured hand. "Hey," he says softly.

"I don't get what I have done to get this?" He still has his eyes shut. "I told him I don't care about his girlfriend. I had never seen her fucking face before then. I have no idea who the fuck she is. Or he is. Just because all those people are running after me, does it mean I am asking for it?" Tine watches helplessly. "I am not interested in them. I am not even interested in -" Sarawat stops. "You're hurting me." Tine looks at where he is holding his elbow in a tight grip and loosens it.

"Sorry," he whispers.

"I don't get it," he continues. "People don't believe me when I tell them I like them. People don't believe me when I tell I am not interested." He looks directly into Tine's eyes. "Have I ever been anything but honest with you?" Tine dutifully nods. He closes his eyes again. "I will be nothing but honest and I'll still not be believed." He leans forward and hunches. Sarawat's head almost touches Tine's chest. "What will it take for anyone to believe me?"

"I am sorry," he whispers. Tine feels bad. He feels somehow he too has wronged Sarawat but he doesn't understand how. Tine feels guilty.

He sees the teardrops splatter on the trousers.

Why- why is he? Tine doesn't understand. 

"Sa-" The law student feels awful. He doesn't know what to do.

"Don't." His voice sounds choked and Tine wants to dig a hole and bury himself. He never thought he'd see Sarawat like this. He has never seen anyone cry. Not unless they were children. Not even his girlfriend had cried. Ever. He isn't equipped to deal with this.

He feels embarrassed for Sarawat for having seen this.

But he doesn't want to leave him here alone either.

So they stay like that till Sarawat's phone rings. He clears his throat and receives it.

"Yes, P'Dim. I'm comin'. ... I'm fine. ... Yeah."

He tries to disconnect but his hand keeps shaking so Tine takes it from his hand and does it for him.

"You are really going to perform?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Fine. You need to clean up before you do."

"Yeah. Will go to the Infirm'ry." He lightly pushes Tine to move away with the other hand. Tine moves back to give him space.