dear highschool book 2

first day back

her flight landed and she walked off the plane. it was time. she hopped into the taxi. this is what rowan would want. she couldn't recognize herself anymore but she knew who she was deep down. she needed to do this for the little 8 year old girl who hung pictures of messi and mia hamm in her room. for her.
she took a deep breath before heading into the lobby. no one had really contacted her since the injury so she was guessing they didn't exactly know that she was coming. "rowan?" she heard hopes voice. "uh hey!" she said. "oh my god! come here" hope said hugging the girl. rowan embraced her back. she hugged everyone else who were suprised to see her but happy none the less. "rowan. how are you?" pia asked hugging her. she wished people would stop asking that. "i'm good. glad to be back" she lied. "yeah and we're glad to have you" carli said hugging the girls shoulders. rowan chuckled. "okay we'll go get settled in. i believe your roommate is....." pia said looking down at the paper. "me!" kelley said bouncing up and down. "heck yeah!" rowan said jumping on kelley. "baby shark and bay squirrel what a good mix" christie said sarcastically. "baby shark?" rowan asked as kelley led her away to their room.
they settled in and rowan took a second to send sabrina a text.
sorry forgot to text you. but i'm at the hotel now
s- hey! no worries. did you get settled in okay?
r- yeah i did. i'm rooming w kell so that'll be good.
s- yeah it will. do you have training today?
r- we are going to go down to the weight room for a little but that's it.
s- okay. aren't you glad now that i made you work on your bench press? ;)
r- absolutely lol. look i gotta go but i'll call you after dinner?
s- sounds good. talk then
"hey ro you ready?" kelley asked after she changed. "yep let's go" rowan said pulling on her nike's.
they went down into the weight room and began. she put in her earbuds and went to work. "damn ro. lookin good" tobin said as she watched the youngest girl on her 23rd pull up. she smiled and returned. at least she was good in the weight room. "go rowan. go rowan!" the team chanted as she did her 33rd pull up. she dropped at 40.
"damn the baby's got game" alex said looking at tobin. rowan watched the interaction between the two and chuckled. tobin looked back at alex and winked. "go on tobs. show her how it's done" rowan whispered in her ear after shooting a look at kelley. tobin hopped up onto the bar and did 38 pull ups. "yep baby's got game" tobin said breathlessly dropping. everyone chuckled and kelley and rowan watched as alex whispered in tobins ear. "yeah well so does my baby" she said. they giggled as tobin turned deep red. "okay girls let's go get changed and meet down here for dinner by 7" abby announced.
"okay so we totally know something is up with those two!" kelley said walking into the room. "oh my god i know! like obvious much?" rowan laughed. kelley hopped into the shower first and rowan went out into the hall. she called her dad.
"hey dad"
"hey babygirl. como estas?"
"bueno bueno. destrocé totalmente la sala de pesas" she laughed
"ah esas mi chica" he said proudly. rowan grew uncomfortable. did he know his daughter couldn't walk onto a field let alone into the 18 yard box without going into panic mode.
"hey dad i gotta go. pero hablo contigo más tardes"
she went in and kelley was headed out. "see you down there?"
rowan nodded before heading in. she called sabrina.
"ro hey?"
"i can't do this sab. i i i can't. they have no idea i i"
"rowan rowan! i need you to breathe. breathe please"
"ugh i want it to stop i want this feeling to go away. i need to be i need to be okay"
"rowan rowan listen to me. rowan?"
"i uh i" she began hyperventilating.
"come on ro. listen listen please"
she couldn't speak. she couldn't breathe. tears spilled out of her eyes.
"uh blue turtle shorts"
"w-w-w-wha?" she said trying to breathe.
"blue turtle shorts and a bright yellow soccer ball. it's what you were wearing when i when i fell in love with you. it's also what you were wearing when i hated you in math class." sabrina chuckled.
"you were sitting in the back right behind me and i was trying to focus but you were to busy juggling the ball under your desk. the loud tapping" she said laughing.
"i turned back and glared at you and you sent me a playful smile back. that's when i knew i was gonna fall in love with you. you and those damn shorts and that ball" she said. rowan has regained her breath.
"thank you" she said.
"don't thank me. do this for that girl sitting in the back of math class annoying the shit out of me. do this for the girl with a dream and a ball. do this for the girl i fell in love with" sabrina told her.
rowan nodded and hung up
she stepped into the shower. she let the hot water spill over her body. "ugh!" she yelled hitting the wall of the shower. she squeezed her eyes. she took a long shower and once she had composed herself enough to get out. she stood in the bathroom and stared in the mirror. she looked deep in her eyes for some sign for some sign of the girl she once was. nothing. all she saw was pain. she was interrupted by her phone. hopes name flashed across the screen. "yo?" rowan said trying to hide her post crying voice. "hey where you at dinner started 5 minutes ago?"
shit she mumbled. "uh yeah sorry i was trying to shave and lost track of time. i'll be right down. you mind grabbing me a plate?"
"yeah i got you"
she brushed her hair quickly and threw on a pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie. she tossed on her slippers and headed down. she opened up the meal room and everyone stared at her. she had tear stained red eyes. "ro!" hope called. she walked over and took a seat. "hey you okay. your eyes?" carli asked. "oh yeah i'm fine i just got shampoo in them and it burned the crap out of em" she lied. she pushed around her food unable to eat. when they were dismissed she hopped up and headed out not saying a word.
"she good?" tobin leaned over and asked alex. alex shrugged looking at the doors the girl lefy from.
rowan 'woke up' early though she never really slept. she had a ponding headache. yeah well crying yourself to 'sleep' all night will do that to you. she thought as she took some advil and a swig of water. she groaned and got up. she did what she did every morning. she stood infront of the mirror in hope she would find a glimpse of the girl she once was. but as usual she saw nothing. it was 6:30 and they didn't have to be up till 8. she got ready quickly and went downstairs. she sat in the waiting room for a while before heading outside. she sat on the curb. she remembered what it felt like to be in camp. the feeling of being surrounded by people she loved and those who loved her. god how she would kill to feel that again. but truth be told she could only feel pain and the only time she didn't feel that was when she was drunk or blinded by the pain. she sat there for 2 hours didn't even know until someone sat down next to her. she wiped her tears quickly. "hey champ" hope smiled. "uh hey" rowan tried smiling back. "please ro talk to me"
"about what?" she asked. "you know what"
"i just miss my dad is all. he's been gone since august" this wasn't a total lie of course she missed her dad.
hope nodded and hugged her. "come on let's go get breakfast" rowan said standing. "wait rowan. you know we're here for you" hope said. the flash of pain crossed her face but quickly left as she smiled and headed inside. they ate breakfast and loaded onto the bus. rowan sat anxiously tappin her fingers against the seat. she saw the field and choked up. she felt it coming back but blocked it out. they got off and headed down. she stood at the gate for a second before walking on. she was silent as she put on her cleats. they ran through their warmups before getting into the real stuff they ran through drills and rowan was performing well. she looked good on the field. strong. but unconfident. the worse was yet to come.
"okay ladies! let's get to work on set pieces. corner kicks!"
pia said
she felt it her breathing stopped. her lungs. she shook her head. she was fine. she was rowan sanchez. "rowan go lefy post!" abby called. she stood there in that spot. it all flooded back she was unable to stop it.
okay i've got this. time to get that second goal.
okay left post if pinoe can loft it in ah yes!
i looked at pinoe confidence in my eyes as she sent me a nod. my ankle hurt but i could ice it after the. after i proved to everyone i wasn't just some 15 year old. i was a world cup champion. balls coming in and up up up ro!!!!
oh no
""up up up rowan up!!!" i heat abby scream
my neck makes contact with the goal post. i bear gasps. the crowds chanting fades. my breathing stops my heart stops racing.
"corazón. fuerza y mente" floods through my head as i see my dad.
then it goes black and all i could think of was the feeling of cold rushing out of my ears.
i feel my body tense up and i'm thrashing and i can only guess i'm seizing.
i'm gone
"i'm gone" "what?" kelley asks. "i i i can't do this i can't" she sprints off the field to the locker room.