Onto That Dangerous World

Chapter 19

WARNING: This story contains mature themes and is intended for mature readers.

ISABELLA SWAN

Victoria was a beautiful woman. She had long black hair and a set of striking blue eyes. She had killer long legs and a figure to die for. Victoria was also a nice person.

On my first night here, she had put me in her room. She did everything that she could to get me to calm down, to make me feel comfortable. I felt bad for her efforts, because there couldn't be anything she could have done to get me to relax in this place.

I won't lie, last night after Victoria left me, I contemplated locking myself in the bathroom, I contemplated ending it all and making the pain go away. I debated between the razor in my hand and filling up the bathtub. If it weren't for Garrett, maybe I would have gone through with it as well.

He came in after he thought I had been in the bathroom for too long, I didn't realize I had to stick to a strict time limit. He saw me with the razor in my hand and knocked it right out.

I hated Garrett, he wasn't James, he wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't even offer me a small bit of comfort, not that I wanted him to touch me in any way.

He just sat there on the end of the bed and watched my every move for the remainder of the night. Of course he had to tell Victoria of my failed attempt. He thought I was asleep, but I heard him tell her everything.

"That was a very stupid thing to do," Victoria said, she was sitting on the bed behind me brushing my hair.

"It wasn't stupid," I mumbled. Being dead was better than being stuck here.

"It was, and you know it."

"Did you ever stop to think that I had a reason for doing it?" I said, trying to move away from her, but she tugged on my hair keeping me in place.

"I don't want to be here, but I don't have a choice, he won't give me another choice and it's not fair. Why do I have to pay for my father's mistake? It's not mine, it's his and it's not fair," I yelled and for the first time I let it out, for the first time, I accepted I was here because of my father, because of a deal he made and broke.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know it must be hard and I won't try and understand what you are going though. Being betrayed by your own blood, that is a hard pill to swallow. But killing yourself isn't an answer, believe me, I've tried that option and it's not as glorified as it sounds," she said, as she finished braiding my hair.

"Why did you try and kill yourself?" I asked, turning around to face her.

"I wasn't trying to die, or at least that's what I like to tell myself." She offered me a weak smile. "I was looking for a way to numb the pain, to feel anything other than…"

"I'm sorry," I said. It was hard to believe that someone like her was ever so broken, she looked so put together, so in control, but looks are deceiving no one really knows what lurks in someone's mind.

"I've seen your face on the news. You're practically in every newspaper. I'm sorry that you are here because someone like you doesn't belong here, Isabella," she said, leaning in, she kissed the top of my head.