Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Chapter 4 - Ghosts

*EDITED*
Chapter 4: Ghosts

Early morning mist covered the grassy flatlands in a grey shroud that swirled and crept like smoke around the wolves eating breakfast. Bjarke sat by my side, cutting up pieces of apple for me with a sharp looking knife my gaze was always drawn back to. He smirked every time he caught me looking.

Holding up my hand for another piece, I grudgingly accepted being fed one bit at a time like a new-born pup. In truth, I'd never had an apple before and I found I rather liked the sweet fruit. Not that I'd ever say that to the hulking Beta who would definitely be smug at such an admission.

When the apple was finished, Bjarke threw the core away for the animals to get rid of. I focussed on licking the juices from my fingers as I nestled into the reindeer fur that had been offered to keep me warm last night. The air resonated with the rumble of a contented she-wolf, even if my actions drew disgusted looks from my keeper. His eyes trailed from the grubby fingers I'd been cleaning down my arms and over the rest of me, following the smears of mud and blood like it horrified him.

"Stop that." Slapping my hands away from my mouth, he shook his head. A deep frown creased his brow as he continued to study me, and then he stood without a word and stomped off much like he had the night before.

I wondered if the Beta was always this grumpy and irritable in the morning. Resting my head against the post, I stiffened when a glint of metal about blinded me.

The knife.

In his mood, he'd forgotten to take it with him.

My heart began to pound and I felt torn between grabbing it and knowing I had nowhere to hide it, and feeling like not taking it would be missing a chance. Every instinct screamed at me to grab it, to hide it within the pelt I sat on and risk drawing suspicion by claiming to be cold enough to need to keep it wrapped around me during the day. . .

A muscle in my arm twitched. And although I remembered the Beta's threat, and knew he'd probably use the knife on me himself if he found me with it, that wasn't the only reason I sat and did nothing. Part of me didn't want to risk breaking the tentative trust Bjarke and I had managed to forge. If I did run, when I did, I didn't want any of the blame to fall on him; and it would fall on him if they knew he'd left a weapon within my reach. With tears stinging my eyes, I curled my hands on my lap and forced them not to move. It killed something in me.

There are no more excuses, a voice whispered harshly in my head, you're a coward.

I swiped angrily at my eyes, jaw clenching. There was no point crying over a decision I'd made. This wasn't going to be forever, I told myself, flexing my foot, grasping onto the pain that flared. There was no point taking a weapon until I was healed. I'd need to take some of their food too; maybe some of the rich boar and deer the pack gorged themselves on. As they had the night my life had fallen apart.

A growl snapped me out of my thoughts of tender meat that made my mouth water. And while I recognised the timbre as belonging to the Beta, it wasn't aimed at me. I could hear his voice rise and fall over the screams and giggles of pups playing in the river, so whatever was going on, whoever he was speaking to, he was definitely still in a foul mood. At least he'd found some other poor soul to take it out on.

"Better them than me."

Slumping back again, my eyes wandered over the pups splashing each other, even swimming in some of the deeper parts of the river. Despite the older teens watching over them, making sure they were safe, a wave of anxiety washed over me. Valdis often had to drag me kicking and screaming if we ever had to cross anything bigger than a stream. A few times he'd decided knocking me out before we even saw water was the safest course. That he didn't decide leaving me behind would be easier all together had always made me think he cared. . .