HLS 12| Let's Stop This

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[Assalāmu Alaykum guys! So this is the english version of "Let's Stop This", it has come to my attention that some of the readers couldn't understand the other language that I'm using which is Tagalog (Filipino Language), so I decided to translate the whole story in the language that you are all comfortable with, and that is the universal language, English. Hope you like it!]

"When will we make it halāl, Habeeb?"

June 28, the day we cut our communication but not our relationship.

"Jam, we've talked about this matter already right? We're young, still studying and not ready to settle down yet."

My brows furrowed as I heard what he said through the phone.

"Really Habeeb? Do you actually know what you're talking about? Yes we're still studying but it is not a hindrance for us to get married."

We're in a relationship for almost a year now. He's a hafidh student while I'm a soon to be secondary teacher. In shaa Allah.

"Just trust me baby, please. Three years left and finally I'll be a Hafidh while you'll graduate as a teacher. In shaa Allah. Be patient baby."

I want to cry. I want to shout at him for not wanting this relationship of ours to be Halāl, but how can I? I love him. And it hurts.

I swallowed the lump that has been forming in my throat.

"If that's your decision, then let's stop this Habibi. We can't let this continue, we can't determine what will happen. We cannot determine if we're really qadr for each other. Let's stop this."

My tears are now starting to form in my eyes. I can't let this continue, this whole thing is heading nowhere.

"No no no, don't Jam. Please baby, don't. I'm begging you. You're the only woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you, please."

As I heard those words from him, my tears fell from my eyes and a sob escaped my lips.

"But I don't want us to stay in this Harām relationship Habeeb. I don't want this kind of relationship anymore. I'm afraid. I don't want you to be the cause of my sin and I also don't want you to be the cause of mine as well."

My heart clenched as I heard him breathing deeply. He's crying, no doubt.

Habeeb is a kind of a guy that is expressive of what he truly feel. He's not embarrass about it, and that's what I love about him.

After a moment of silence between us, he finally said something.

Something that I didn't expect.

"Let's stop communicating baby, but let our relationship remain. I trust you so much for I love you and I hope you do the same. If the day will come that you already like someone else, please don't hesitate to tell me and I'll set you free but only if he is better than me. And if ever it will also happen to me, I hope you won't set me free. Please hold onto me and don't let go baby."

***

It was four years from today. And Alhamdulillah, I am finally a licensed teacher.

Four years. Time flies so fast, so fast that I couldn't comprehend.

I was walking on my way home, holding my cellphone on my right hand while I'm typing a reply to my sister when I bumped into someone.

"Astagfirullah! I'm so sorry!"

"Nah, it's okay ukhty. I'm sorry also, I wasn't looking on my way."

I smiled at her apologetically. She was about to say something when her phone rang.

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