infatuation | kylo ren.

chapter fifteen.

you got out of the medbay few days ago, and nobody knew that you were going to leave with rey to the resistance, in the morning. that you were practically back stabbing the first order.

you were trying to fall asleep on your cot, rey sleeping on the other one that was only a few feet away from you. she said she would tell you more once you both were on the millennium falcon, and you agreed to wait. your sleep deprivation was getting worse, and you got up, slipping on your shoes. you wanted to take a stroll around the ship before you left.

you tried to wash away the memories and the voice of kylo saying he loves you. you couldn't forget that. you would always love him. he was your first love. you still wore his shirts, never wanting to wear anything else.

you heard an echoing of your name, which spun you around and saw him, in another setting. how was he here? "kylo.. how did you- what's happening?" you asked, genuinely confused and looked around at his setting then yours. two completely different areas. "the force is bringing us together." he said and was confused himself, looking at you.

"the force? impossible. you and rey are the dyad in the force." you reminded him, chuckling nervously and wanting to walk off. "mine and her bond is strong, but i think ours is stronger." he told you and your eyes widened, your heart beating.

"once again, impossible. i'm normal and i told you, i didn't want to hear from you ever again."

"the force is bringing us together. you have it.."

you swore your body left your soul once he said those words, not believing him. "no, no! i don't!" you exclaimed, shaking your head and chewed onto your lower lip. "come to my quarters, please. this is all i'm asking for." he spoke and you sighed, agreeing. you made your way to his quarters and the guards didn't even say anything once you entered through the doors, they simply minded their own business.

you walked inside his hatch door and he was sitting on the bed, his eyes being doe and seemed so sad. you crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for him to say something. he stood up and faced you, like he was ready to confess.

"i love you." he started off and your arms dropped, not wanting to go through this again. you were so exhausted from his mood switching self and didn't know what real anymore. you were heartbroken and you've had enough. "kylo-"

"i love you. i am so in love with you, it aches my heart. i love you so much, that you're my galaxy. i love you so much, i would do anything for you. i love you and i mean that. you're the only person who's been patient with me, who's understood me. you risked your life to destroy my abuser. you showed me that love isn't such a bad thing. i always thought that love made you weak, or blinded you, but that's not true. love is an unexplainable feeling, and i have that for you. i love you, so much. and i want you, forever. forever and ever. even when we're force ghosts, i want you. and i know i haven't been the greatest at showing it or even saying it, but i stayed up all night, thinking and finally realizing it. if i have you by my side, i am good and who i am. i'm ben solo, and i love you."

you were left speechless and in tears. happy tears. kylo grabbed your face and kissed you, that was passionate and rough. he didn't give you a moment to speak, just wanting you.

he picked you up, your legs wrapping around his torso and moaned inside each other's mouths. he laid you on the bed, both of you fumbling to take off your clothes, shoes and he made sure to be careful with you. every remaining piece of clothing was left in a messy pile on the ground and your fingers ran through his hair. his hands were on your waist, laying you back and kissed down your stomach, until he got to your clit, looking up at you with accessible eyes.

you nodded and he gently sucked onto it, tongue running up and down your slit. you moaned, eyes rolling back and smiled in pleasure, biting your lip. "eyes on me." he mumbled and you nodded, both of you holding strict eye contact. he moaned against your clit, the vibrations sending through you and your legs twitched, squirming around.