15- rule number 2: dont get your hopes up.

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Its a simple theory really. If he really wanted to talk to me, well blue, he would message first. I know before you say anything it's dumb to get my hopes up, we just exchanged in one or two conversations.

But if I really put my mind to it, if I really thought about it deep down, why is it that the randomiser chose him! Keith? Like was this fate? Was this even fair? How am I meant to move on when every thought I have is of the hot head, and it's so frustrating now that I have to bring back old memories of my former self, Lance. So, Keith I am not getting my hopes up.

That's the last thing I will do, get my hopes up, because if I did that. That would mean I still cared and I don't care? Why did that come out as a question? Fuck, I have so many questions. My head feels like it's going to explode and it's only been one night. What's going to happen when we finally meet? Should I wear make up to cover my freckles? I mean I haven't done that in awhile so I don't know how good I would be at it- should I just wing it and show him how I really look? Not like he'll remember, heck he's probably won't even recognise me it has been 5 years for goodness sake. I should stop overthinking shouldn't I?

While my head was spitting out questions after one and another I hadn't realised my chest had quickly risen, my hands began to subtly shake and I felt like my entire body was going to give way. I can't, I can't do this. Why did I want him to text me? Keith, I've written so many songs about you and I don't even know where to begin with a conversation.

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