The CEO's Wife

Chapter 7 - Deep rooted hatred

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Michael's POV

"And you know the rest", I concluded, absent-mindedly brushing her shoulder. Honestly even I couldn't recall the following days anymore. It was a blur of not being able to sleep, not feeling hunger and packing for my big move. "Victor and I flew to America, checked out the university, got all the papers I needed, confirmed my Bachelor's degree, found me a dorm I could stay in and I saved every penny I could with every side job I could take up."

"Victor and Marthe were more than kind to pay for your expenses so you could save all that money you earned", Sara whispered, sighing deeply. "I always get a heavy feeling in my stomach when you tell me this story. I always feel my heart drop when I remember that you slept in your company for years before you could afford a flat."

"I made do", I spoke slowly and silently. "It wasn't easy. In times like these, I always reminds me to stay humble. I lived in a company that was deemed not saveable. I showered with soap. I ate whatever the company's vending machines could offer. When I get angry over little things, when I get angry at mistakes, I remind myself I've had it much worse. But at the same time, I fear the little things. I fear mistakes which could catapult me into the starting days, I fear the little details that could snowball into my doom. It's just something that sticks with you. Sure, I sometimes make quick and expensive decisions, but do I ever really splurge? The house excluded of course."

Sara pondered. "No. Even with your suits you rarely get new ones. Come to think of it, you really look out more for bargains, discounts and deals than I do."

"Because I don't want to be in dept again, not after all those years ... What I want to say with all of this is that our fears will never fully leave us. They might grow smaller, but they will be always there. They will always be a part of us. I'll always break out in a sweat at the thought you might leave me, that I'm not good enough for you. I'll always wake up in the middle of the night and worry where Leon is, how he is doing, if he's fed, if he's save, warm, sheltered, if his family is with him and if they love him. I'll always fear my father will cut contact again. I'll always fear my mother will call me out of the blue and flip my whole world around again." I took a deep breath. "It's justified you are scared of people who wanted you gone. It's more than natural you fear the man who had nearly raped you. It's normal you'll always question it whether you are good enough for me or not. If I'll stay loyal to you. Which, by the way, how would I ever hurt you when you are literally the light at the end of the tunnel? I swear anytime I'm with you I can forget, even if it's just for a moment or even a day. It's like I've been reborn when you smile so brightly at me."

I brushed my wife's cheeks and cupped her square-shaped face, kissing her long lashes. Sara's lips were shaking as she tried to smile, tears growing in those beautiful dark brown eyes. "And you are not weak if you cry out for help, if you need to step back to compose yourself. No, on the contrary, you are strong because you can cry out, because you try to move on, because you don't give up. I was weak for hiding from my problems for what? 30 years? I should have long sought out a therapist. My childhood was shit, I was a depressed teen trying to figure out who my real family was, if I was worthy of being alive, how I could make myself useful. Then I wasted my 20s trying to save a shitty company that I hated for a long time. I should have cried for help. But, I had you, and when you cried, something inside of me awoke. And I cried too. And it was the best thing I've ever done and I'll always be thankful for your never-ending efforts to help me."

I hesitated. "Well, it was one of the best things."

"What are the others?", Sara sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"The births of my nieces and nephew, for one. The day the meeting was blown and marrying you."

"What meeting?"