Christmas when you were mine

chapter 7: Thats christmas to me

I never thought I'd say it. Not in a million years but making the gingerbread house like old times was the most fun I've had in years. By the time we were done there was icing and cookie batter everywhere. I set a table cloth on the counter as I looked around the kitchen at the disaster we had created.

"You're mother would murder us if she saw this mess," I laughed brushing some flour from Jude's hair.

"Hey a clean Baker is not a worthy baker," Jude shrugged.

"Your mother proves that, that theory is flawed," I added licking a bit of icing off of my finger. My cheeks heated up slightly when I noticed Jude's brown eyes trained on my mouth.  My heart began to race as he took a few steps towards me. He stopped a few inches away from me. He was so close I could feel the warmth of his skin next to me. My stomach flipped and turned nervously when he reached up and brushed a little flour from my hair.

"Are you implying that I'm not a good baker Miss Montgomery?" He asked with a husky voice.

"What no?" I half answered half asked. What was it with this guy that got me all knotted up. It never used to be like this. I felt the goosebumps cover every inch of my skin as his fingers trailed along my neck gently.

"Good," he winked before leaning in. His body pressed up against mine making my breath hitch slightly as he reached for something behind me. Within seconds he stepped away with a clean cloth in hand as he began to wipe the counter once again. Once again the overwhelming feeling of disappointment flooded over me.

We cleaned the rest of the kitchen in an awkward sort of silence. I kept my eyes low and tried to focus on anything but the man in the room. Something about him was different I just couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe I was over reacting and seeing things that just simply were not there. Jude was my best friend and it felt weird but I really had the desire to kiss him again. I shoved the thought to the side writing it off as me just being weird.

"Well now that the kitchen is clean I think it's our turn," he winked once again making me swallow a lump that had formed in my throat.

"Yeah," I nodded.

Once I was alone in my bathroom I slipped into a warm bath washing all evidence of our baking escapades away. But with the water came the thoughts I was so desperately trying to shove to the side. Maybe I was just lonely? Yes that must be it. I was with my ex the last three years. Now he wasn't in the picture so I was placing those feelings onto Jude. Now I just needed to figure out how to wipe away those feelings before things got messy.

Later on that night we all sat by the fire looking at old photos from years ago. Each year was a photo of Jude and I happy and carefree. The stories that came with each photo brought laughter and warm happy memories. Our parents smiled as they read old Christmas cards from friends and family. Some who were still around and others who were only around in our hearts.

I leaned back against the coffee table since Jude and I were sitting on the floor so our parents could have a seat. I popped a piece of extra gingerbread in my mouth as I watched everyone around me happily talking with one another. This was what Christmas was for me. It wasn't about the gifts, the decorations or the parties. It was being with the people I cared about the most.

"Look at this one," Jude's voice breathed as he placed a picture into my hand. I looked at it and a blush spread across my face. How could I have forgotten about that? My eyes lingered on the image of a little five year old Jude kissing me under the mistletoe. I guess our first kiss wasn't really our first kiss.

"I forgot about that one," I smiled weakly handing the photo back,

"I don't think I've ever forgotten a Christmas with you," Jude whispered quietly only making my cheeks heat up even more. I suddenly felt the urge to disappear into my cozy sweater.