Christmas when you were mine

chapter 13: This Christmas

I woke up with  my head against something hard. I blinked tiredly trying to focus on my surroundings. Did I pass out on the floor? I let my eyes trail around the room. Nope I was on my bed that was for sure. I looked at what I was laying on and fought back an angry gasp. Jude was fast asleep next to me. This wasn't really what I had meant when I said I'll see you tomorrow. However it's not the first time I woke up next to this guy. I shook him slightly to wake him up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked angrily.

"I wanted to explain," he answered tiredly.

"So you snuck into my bed?" I hissed. "Jude that's beyond creepy."

"It's not like that Delilah," he replied quickly yawning.

"Look Jude I know. Okay? We are best friends. Nothing more. I guess I just got slightly confused. Don't worry about it," I breathed attempting to crawl over him so I could get out of bed. Unfortunately for me that was a big mistake. Jude wrapped his hands around my shoulders holding me in a rather uncomfortable position. I quickly looked away from him.

"Look at me Delilah," he breathed quietly. I slowly turned my head towards his looking into his brown eyes.  My stomach fluttered nervously.

"Please don't ruin this Christmas for me," I pleaded quietly.  He cocked an eyebrow at me before letting me go.

"Lila I..."

"We can talk about this later. Like way later," I breathed getting up quickly. I tugged on a bulky sweater before turning back to him. "Besides I blame it on the wine," I smiled. I turned to leave hoping he got the hint that I really didn't want to talk about it. He didn't.

"Delilah come on its a few days before Christmas. I don't want you to be mad at me," he responded getting out of my bed. His hair fell across his forehead in a messy just got out of bed way making my heart slam against my rib cage.

"I'm not mad Jude. I'm just confused. This Christmas just seems so different than the ones I'm used to that's all. I'm sure everything will go back to our normal disfunctional relationship come the new year."

"I don't think we are disfunctional," he breathed.

"Oh come on Jude how can you even say that when you look at our past?" I asked slightly shocked that he didn't see it. We couldn't go a few weeks without fighting over something. Whether it be his crazy girlfriend or something like a cinnamon bun .  That was just us no denying it. Jude sighed running a hand through his hair. Something he was doing a lot lately.

***

Some hours after our little morning escapade I found myself alone. Peacefully by the fire place with a book. I tried my hardest to let my mind take me away but my eyes kept glancing to the mistletoe.  The memory by itself made my heart do this flip flop thing.

Why did he do it? I mean the mistletoe has been there the whole time so why last night? Also that kiss did not feel like a simple mistletoe kiss. There felt like there was something else behind it. Mind you I was probably reading way too much into it.  Like always there I was again Delilah making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I turned my eyes back to my book determined to let the whole thing go. I was half way struggling through the chapter when Jude walked into the room.

"You know you spend more time here than you do at your own place," I breathed as he flopped down by my feet.

"Probably because you are here," he winked making me sigh a little.  "I brought sugar cookies," he added softly holding up a box of fresh cookies.

"Giving me a box of cookies won't make everything just go away," I sighed.

"But it makes it a little better right?" He asked flashing me a million dollar smile.

"A little," I answered as he placed the box of cookies on my lap. This was always how he apologized. A box of sugar cookies and there I was melting like butter to his charm.  Like always.

I felt his eyes linger on me making me squirm a little under his gaze. I could tell he wanted to say something but for some reason he was keeping it locked up.

"Before you say anything. Please don't. I really don't want to talk about it."

I glanced at him over the top of my book after a few seconds had passed. He opened his mouth for a second before closing it again. I could tell it was bugging him but I didn't say anything. I knew if we talked I would probably be walking away with a damaged heart and this close to Christmas I just wasn't willing to chance it.