Christmas when you were mine

chapter 10: the most wonderful time of the year

This was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. However this Christmas was not living up to my expectations. Instead of being happy and cheerful it was confusing and well messy. Wishing or hoping that things could go back to the way they used to be was beginning to feel more and more like a distant dream of Christmas past. Now I just needed to decide where I wanted our Christmas Futures to go. Did I risk our friendship for something that just might not be in our cards? A low rap at the door made me jump slightly.

"Hey Lila. I was going to go out for a late lunch want to tag along?" Jude asked leaning up against the door frame. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes met his. When did they start seeing him like this? What made everything change so much? Was it the near kiss or what I took as him flirting? Perhaps it was the wanting or better yet needing someone special to spend the holidays with. I mean I always viewed Jude as someone special to me. He was my best friend after all. I didn't think of him like this though. At least I didn't in the past.

"Okay," I answered in a hush tone. I wasn't really sure if he had even heard me. Until he nodded and stepped back throught the door heading downstair. I quickly followed after him slipping into the passenger seat of his car.

***

To say I was nervous was an understatement. Butterflies danced in my stomach as I sat across from Jude. Its was a weird unsettling feeling that I've never experienced around him before. For once in my life I felt like I was sitting across from a complete stranger.  His Hair fell across his forehead in a way I vaguely remember. That thought alone made my heart sink. When did we grow so apart?

"What are you doing?" I squeaked as he stuck his spoon to his nose.

"Lightening up the mood," he shrugged. "You seem a little tense," he added with a big goofy smile on his face.

"Oh," I nodded looking into his warm eyes.

"So your mother told me you've moved back to town," he added changing the subject.

"Yeah," I nodded my eyes trailing down to the spoon. "Look I can't have a serious conversation with you when that thing is stuck to your face," I breathed pointing to the spoon.

"Are you implying I embarass you?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Suit yourself," I smiled back as our waitress came bouncing towards us. I watced her eyes grow large as her eyes took in Judes silly image.

"Jude?" Her breathy voice asked softly as her eyes lingered on his face.

"Samantha?" he asked finally taking off the spoon like the adult that he was. As soon as I heard the name I knew exactally who it was. she and Jude dated back in grade eleven. She was one of the better ones he had dated. She had dyed her hair blonde since then making her look completely different. I however was not liking the way they were staring into eachothers eyes. 

"It's been so long," she breathed happily.

"Yeah three or so years," he answered. I shifted slightly in my chair feeling slightly uncomfortable. I felt even more uncomfortable when both pairs of eyes turned in my direction.

"Oh I'm sorry Delilah I didn't see you," Samantha smiled innocently at me. I knew it was a lie but I figured I really didn't want spit in my food so I decided to play nice.

"Hi Samantha," I smiled.

"Are you two finally a thing?" She asked looking between Jude and I. I felt my cheeks heat up slightly.

"No," I assured her quietly.

"That's too bad, you two would make a cute couple," She winked. "Anyways what can I get you two to drink?"

"A sprite," I squeaked.

"Same," Judes voice added. Samantha bounced away leaving Jude and me alone. I found it slightly weird that two of Judes exs asked if were were an item. Maybe they were seeing something we weren't.

"Jude, I think we need to talk," I sighed.

"About what?" He asked shooting me a lopsided grin. "Is it about the Christmas party down the street?" He asked making me second guess myself.

"Uh yeah do you know what time it starts?" I asked dumbly.

"Oh umm seven I think," Jude answered scratching the back of his head nervously. What had him so nervous? "Anything else?" I tought about it for a second before shaking my head no. This really wasn't the time or place to talk about us. We ate in a weird silence. Once again the feeling of being with someone I barely knew popped into my head.

"You know what we should do?" Judes voice broke out as we were finishing up our meals.

"What?" I asked skeptically.

"A sleigh ride," he smiled wiggling his eyebrows.

"You think?" I asked quietly. "Last time I nearly froze to death."

"Come on Delilah. Live a little," Jude added.

"Are you trying to peer pressure me?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know. Is it working?" He laughed.