Christmas when you were mine

Chapter 18: Wrapped in red.

My stomach was knotted with nerves. My dress was on. My make up was done. I even curled my hair which was something for me. I tended to go with the more natural look. With work I tended to tie it up and there was rarely a reason to actually wear makeup. So this was new to me. I felt like I was wearing a ton of crud on my face. I looked at the mirror once more making the butterflies float around my stomach like crazy. I still wasn't quite sure what Jude and my relationship was. I just knew that he left around three o'clock leaving me to myself.

I knotted my hands together trying to shake my nerves. It was about six forty five which meant I was meeting Jude and his parents in five minutes. I paced back and forth nervously. What did I say to Jude? Did we talk about us? Or should I just leave it for another day. There was also the thought of Owen showing up to screw things up.

I suppose the main thing that was going through my head was how exactly did we transition from friends to lovers? If that was even an option. I shook my head clearing my thoughts quickly. This was something I would have to deal with later. The sound of people downstairs made my heart pound. My eyes fell to my clock before turning towards the door. It was now or never. My stomach churned slightly as I stepped towards the door.

I could hear laughter and low talking as I reached the top of the stairs. My hands trembled and shook. I was terrified I could feel it in the air with each breath I took. I had fallen for my best friend hard. Now my heart was in his hands and the thought of him breaking it scared the hell out of me. I didn't know if I could handle loosing him at least not over this.

I sucked in a breath as I placed a foot on the top step. My heal clicked against the warm coloured wood. I forced myself forwards slowly. After a few steps I could smell his cologne. It was like a blanket surrounding every inch of me. I saw his blond hair tied back making my heart race. I smiled nervously when his eyes met mine. Butterflies floated in my stomach as my skin turned pink under his gaze.

"You look beautiful sweetheart," My father breathed snapping a picture of me quickly. I smiled weakly at him as I stepped onto the main floor. I felt Judes eyes linger on me making me feel even more nervous. Our parents grabbed their coats and started out the door leaving Jude and I behind.  I took a step towards my coat only to be stopped by Jude. His hand slipped into mine pulling me back towards him. His warmth swept over me like a summer breeze sending chills all over my body.

"You look stunning," he smiled.

"Well you did pick out the dress," I answered quietly into his chest.

"Well that's because you looked like an angel wrapped in red," he breathed kissing the top of my head. I knew my face was most likely the same colour as my dress by now. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I nodded slipping my hand out of his.  I couldn't help but feel a slight chill without his hand in mine. I quickly slipped on my coat before stepping out into the cool winters night. The skies were crystal clear letting the stars twinkle down on us. The snow crunched under our feet as we walked slowly towards our neighbours in silence.

***

About an hour into the party I had wandered off. Jude was still keeping quiet. Maybe he was trying to figure out a way to let me down easy. I just knew the silence was driving me crazy. I walked out onto the balcony that was lit by white icicle lights. The music was muffled enough to sound like it was being played the next house over. I let out a sigh as I leaned against the cool white railing.

Tonight was Christmas eve. I was supposed to be happy, excited even. Instead I was on the verge of breaking. The suspense was killing me. Should I go right out and just tell him exactly how I was feeling? Did I put everything Jude and I was on the line risking it all? This was a season for miracles.

"So this is where you've been hiding," Judes voice breathed from behind me making me jump.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Just needed some air," I added quickly. I chanced a glance in his direction making my heart skip a beat.

"I know what you mean," he smiled leaning up against the railing beside me. "Christmas is in less than five hours," he breathed softly. I turned my head so I could look at him.

"Yeah," I smiled. "Do you think Santa will bring you something special?" I teased.

"He already did," he smiled a lopsided grin.

"Oh yeah?" I asked curious to his answer.

"I was three," he smiled.

"What could be so special at the age of three?" I asked quietly.

"Someone I care about a lot," he answered making me blush. "Delilah that year I got you. You've stood by me through everything. My awkward stage, my jerk phase. You've been there through my heart breaks and all of my mistakes."

"That's what friends are for," I answered quietly.

"I don't think our friendship is going to work out," he added. I swear if you listened close enough you would hear my heart shatter into a million pieces. Was this how it was going to end between us?