Anne with an E The Next Chapter

Trepidation

Diana got through dinner with a lump in her throat. She couldn't breathe, watching her mother watching her. The two kept exchanging glances and since Diana had no opportunity to either deny or explain anything, she was trying to decide just HOW to respond. Should she just say it now? Should she lie to them? She already was lying. Thinking about it she felt herself growing anxious. Her hands were sweating and she felt nauseous. It seemed like her insides were all liquid and all she could do was think she needed to run for the bathroom. Her dinner would not go down and her breathing was uneven.

"May I be excused father?" said Diana.

"No you may not Diana, you'll stay here with us where I can see you" her mother answered sharply.

Embarassed, she answered quickly, "I'm very unwell mother, I need to lay down".

"That's unfortunate Diana, perhaps you should stop eating and simply converse with Mr. Andrews" said Mrs Barry snidely.

James looked across table table at Diana where he was seated facing her. He could see she looked clammy and pale and felt badly for her. Ruby had been chatting with him for much of their meal as she was seated right next to him and quite close indeed. James wondered when Diana had fallen ill, he couldn't place it. He'd been distracted by the beautiful and innocent Ruby.

"Mrs. Barry, it's truly not a problem. I'm sorry we can't spend more time together Diana, perhaps I could fetch you tomorrow to take you to the station?" James said sweetly.

Her mind was racing... how could she answer this, Jerry was to meet her there and see her off... what could she say in this moment to this kindness. Quickly she thought, if James took her, she could avoid the ride with her parents and...

"Oh it's a very early train ride James! 8:00 in the morning" her mother retorted.

"I don't mind at all, I'm up at 6:30 with the birds every morning... early riser" he said with a charming smile.

She sat there watching, her throat closed up, her mouth dried...what could she say? She remembered what Jerry had said then ..just stall them until we figure it out...

"Sure, yes, that would be lovely. Thank you James. I can meet you outside tomorrow morning at 7:15" she managed to muster up.

"Wonderful, its settled then" he said placing his napkin on the table.

Her breathing regulated and she knew she just needed to get through this moment by moment. She started to think it over... her mother would only threaten her, she knew nothing yet for certain about her and Jerry and she most certainly wouldn't want her father to know this. She would likely just stomp around and make idle threats and it would be just between them. She didn't know a thing.

She looked up and met Minnie Mae's eyes who were watching her thoughtfully. Minnie Mae could be trouble at times, and Diana wondered if she'd seen something and told her mother. She tried to read the expression. She was older now, already 12, and Diana felt for her as she too would have the pressures of this life on her shoulders. Minnie Mae looked at her curiously but with a kind of compassion. Diana wanted to protect her and she needed to face the fact that she would pave the way for whatever would come for her sister. Perhaps it was just time to come clean and face the music.

She patted at her mouth and cleared her throat.

"Ruby, since I am not feeling well, i'm worried about you getting home, I won't be able to walk you" Diana said.

"Oh, I'd be happy to walk Ruby" said James.

"No problem at all". He looked over and winked at Ruby who flushed and smiled, agreeing to the walk home.

"Oh, that's not necessary, Ruby you can stay here this evening" Mr Barry said.

"Oh heavens no, my parents would be worried sick. I should get home soon" she said with a bright smile. She'd been making eyes at James all evening and it was clear she was happy with this arrangement. A few times throughout dinner, she saw James smiling at her father while talking. It seemed as though Ruby was lost in thought while she listened to him talking. She seemed frozen and elated all at once and Diana couldn't help but have an uneasy feeling.

As the plates were cleared and desert was being served, Diana's stomach turned and she asked again to be excused.

She rose from the table and apologized profusely. James rose as she excused herself from the room. Mrs Barry also stood and promptly followed Diana out of the room. She grabbed her by the arm when they were out of sight and spun Diana on her heels.

"Listen to me young lady.. we will discuss this later. Don't you dare breathe a word to this to your father"

"There is nothing to discuss mother. I won't be forced into a relationship with a person I don't care for" Diana said anxiously.

"Not another word" she said sternly.

As she turned, Diana watched her mother storm off to the kitchen. Her eyes shifted to the dinning room where she focused in on a curious scene. James was whispering discretely into Ruby's ear and had his hand on her thigh. She understood now why Ruby seemed so shocked. If this was not proof enough for her, she didn't know what was. A man, not a boy, who was supposed to be suitor for her was sitting next to her friend and flirting openly. She could see that James was made from the same fibre as Billy. Someone who saw women as toys to amuse him. What kind of a husband would he be? She was disgusted and annoyed, but thought she'd keep this piece of information close to her heart, in case she needed to pull out all the stops with her mother later.

——

Ruby ran up to Diana's room before leaving and crept in to the dimly lit room.

"Are you sleeping Diana?"
"No"
"I'm about to head home, I just need my dress...should I change back into it before going home?"
"Not that's fine Ruby. You can return the dress to me another time, she said softly.
"Oh, Ok" she whispered "thank you for tonight Diana, i've had such fun".
"Is james walking you home?"
"Yes is that ok?"
"Yes Ruby"
"Are you sure Diana? I mean he is so lovely, I can understand if you would prefer I didn't".

Diana, who was already laying on her bed, propped herself up on one elbow and looked across the dark room at her friend.

"Yes Ruby, I told you earlier I have no intentions with him". They stared at each other for a few seconds, with Ruby trying to understand why on earth her friend would not be interested in James.

"Look, I should tell you, it's not that I don't like him, it's just...I'm, well I'm in love with someone else Ruby, and we have plans to be together. I just haven't been able to tell anyone".

Ruby's eyes were wide with excitement and a big grin spread across her face.

"Diana....who is it!" Ruby said curiously.

"I can't say just yet, but just know that this is the reason that I am not interested in James"

"Ok... because you know I would never want to stand in your way Diana, but since you are not interested, than perhaps a walk home is ok?"

"Yes, but Ruby, please be mindful. Don't get yourself carried away. Just this afternoon you were crying to me about Moodie. "

"I know, of course... but tonight's just been so exciting".

With this, she rustled the pink taffeta dress across the room and squeezed Diana's hand. "Ok, I must go, I shouldn't keep Mr. Andrews waiting".

"Be careful Ruby" she implored, but the young girl was already half way out the door looking primed and ready for a new life.