HorrorFell Sans x Suicidal Reader || No Longer Continued

R E A L I Z E

It had been a day since Sans had explained to me how he got his crack and it had been.... Weird. Flowey has been kinda reclusive, this Chara person has been talking to me lately and they are like Jekyll and Hyde. It sounds like a demon is controlling them and then they are as sweet as ever! I'm so lost, it's awkward between Sans, Papyrus, and I.... I... I don't know what to do. I have visited Alphys and she gave me a phone that was a regular mobile phone with Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, and Toriels number I had called Toriel but she didn't answer. I had found out that they had YouTube but they called it UnderTube/MonsterTube there was a lot of videos like human video and monster videos! I had gone shopping in Snowdin and found headphones/earphones and purchased them and I had been listening to music whenever I had time. I had been given chores as of, washing the dishes, cleaning up after myself somehow that counts as a chore, washing my clothes, and cleaning the house or bring Sans or Papyrus their clothes when they were just sitting on the washing machine. I was sitting on the couch listening to my music, I was listening to This Is Gospel but a more sad piano version of it. I was just getting the chorus when I started singing.

*The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues
Conspire against the odds~
But they haven't seen the best of us yet~

I didn't realize it, but there was a figure standing in the doorway of the kitchen listening to the tune I was singing.

*If you love me let me go!
If you love me let me go!~
Cause these words are knives
That often leave scars~
The fear of falling apart!
And truth be told I never was yours~
The fear, the fear of falling apart!

I had started tearing up because this song was sadder when it was played on piano. My vision blurred, my eyes stung as the tears dropped onto my lap, I swallowed as the lump in my throat eased.

*This is gospel
For the vagabonds
Ne'er-do-wells and insufferable bastards~
Confessing~
Their apostasies~
Led away by imperfect impostors~

I started humming oh-ooh-oh-oh-oooh part of the song before I lifted my head and wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my grey sweater. I saw my reflection in a mirror that was next to the TV. My ugly face all red with sadness the harsh strokes of wear I rubbed away my tears stained my face and I saw a shadow in the doorway of the kitchen. I slowly turned my head to the shadow and saw Sans. My eyes widen as his face was filled with sadness, he walked over to me and said down next to me.

*.... Please.... Keep singing...

I was shocked but I continued singing I put it to the second pre-chorus.

*Don't try to sleep through the end of the world..
Bury me alive~
'Cause I won't give up without a fight~...

I started tearing up again but I didn't want to cry in front of Sans, cause then I would be labeled weak. A crybaby. Sensitive...

*If you love me let me go!
If you love me let me go~
Cause these words are knives
That often leave scars~
The fear of falling apart~
And truth be told I never was yours!~
The fear, the fear of falling apart...

*The fear of falling apart~
The fear, the fear of falling apart~

*The fear of falling apart
The fear of falling apart~

*The fear of falling apart!

*The fear of falling apart...

I heard sniffling through my headphones/earphones and I turned to Sans. His eyes were filled with blood red tears, his tears were a... Beautiful color, without noticing I moved my hands to his eyes and wiped away his tears. My started to heartbeat with a weird sense of safety, relief.... Passion... It felt.. right. Like a forbidden rule had been broken and I was free... Like breathing in new air that was fresh and clean.. I looked into his eyes and he eyes calmed while looking deep into mine.. We started to lean in to eachother... Sans eyes widen and we had realized what we were doing and pulled away. I looked away and covered my mouth with my sleeve and Sans got up...

*I'm sorry... But... This isn't right...

I looked at him and tears pricked my eyes again and my heart felt like it was seeing stabbed. The same feeling of dread, heartbreak, sadness. I hated it. I ran up the stairs to my room and I grabbed my razor blade Flowey was in a trance like state but was interrupted when I had burst through my room. I think he was in shock and had to process what had just happened. It hurt me I didn't know why. We are only friends. I ran to the bathroom and I locked the door. I had my back pushed up against the door, I thought at why I felt so... Broken. I slowly slid down and slid down my wrist full of scars and two day old cuts. I hadn't been doing it for a few days because I felt okay for once.. I guess you could say I felt....

Happy...

I took the razor blade and slid it harshly against my wrists and forearms the blood gushed out and the tears came like water falls and I realized how much I was bleeding. I started panicking but I was also laughing crying. I quickly got up but that was a mistake cause I immediately got light headed I fell onto the counter and grabbed the counter as support for my skinny figure. I looked in the mirror and I turned on the sink and put my arms underneath the water, I clenched my teeth as the water stung the newly formed cuts. I found the bandages that I had used a lot but they had a stock of them, I grabbed the bandages and put them over my arms I had went over to the toilet and just sat there. I thought about why I was so hurt. Why? I had thought about old crushes and how I felt and how quickly I had fallen for them. That's when I realized...

I liked Sans...

A lot...