You're Back (#3)

Chapter Thirteen - Old Love Never Dies

Damon

I felt beyond awful. I watched her leave in that tight black dress and I wanted to turn the place upside down. I wanted to snap the neck of the first person that would speak to me. I clenched my fists and just sat there. There was no point going after her because I knew she didn't want me to. She looked at me with pure hatred and it broke my heart. I also stood up and left.

Me with my twisted disability to handle emotions, I decided to get drunk. I took out a bottle of whiskey and sat down on my bed. The bed that she had slept in just a few hours ago. I could still imagine the picture of her there, with her messy hair all over my pillow and her eyes tightly closed. I felt incredibly lonely sitting there alone.

As I kept sitting there for hours, I couldn't help but wonder whether she was right. Is there really no chance for us to start over? To forget the past? If I could turn back time I would've been the man she needed, the man she wanted to be with instead of running away from.

I kept refilling my glass as I heard someone walk in. I knew it wasn't Natalie. She wouldn't come back to me.

"Damon?" Oh, sweet.

"Rachel?" I asked surprised to see my ex fiancee here. I noticed that she cut her hair, now she was a shoulder length blondie.

"I gotta say I like the hair." I said and I forced myself to smile.

"Are you drunk?"

"Sure, hun. Sure I am. What do you want?" I didn't mean to sound as harsh as it came out.

"I left my gold laced necklace here somewhere, so I wanted to come get it. I was hoping you weren't home actually, thought you might be with Natalie."

I laughed.

"Yeah no, that's... just no. You know, I could get anything in this whole wide world, literally anything, but I can never get her to stay. I can't have her. I don't deserve her. I never did." I looked down and saw the once again empty glass in my hands.

"Damon, what happened?" Rachel asked as she sat down beside me.

"She said she'll never forgive me for what I've done. And to be honest, I don't blame her. I wouldn't forgive me either." Rachel took my hands into hers.

"Then why do you keep fighting for someone that doesn't want you? Someone that isn't there for you and makes you feel like this? Look, Damon, I don't exactly know what happened all those years ago but I know you deserve someone who loves you. And I love you. I know we've had our ups and downs but I want to be there for you, I want to marry you and have your children. I can't see the world without you. That's how important you are to me." I frowned and thought about Natalie. Everything in me screamed no, no... no.

"And I know that you have feelings for me too, otherwise you'd have never proposed to me in the first place. Please just leave Natalie in the past, just like she should've been. Let's move on with our lives, Damon. Let's move on together. Please."

I got lost in her words, and I knew that a few weeks ago I was ready to spend the rest of my life with Rachel. Natalie just became this painful thought that i couldn't let go of. But Rachel was always there for me, and it's not like I had any chance with Natalie.

I pulled Rachel close and I kissed her.

Natalie

I laid on my bed and I let myself wonder. What do I want from life? Do I want to be here, do what I do and hope everything will work out? I can't. I need to make up my mind and do something with myself. And then I thought about Damon. I thought about how his face barely changed after all these years and how his lips felt on mine just the same too. I thought about looking into his eyes and pulling his hair. But then, slowly but surely, our past starts crawling in and like spilled ink on paper, it clouds all the good things that have ever happened between us. I hurt him today, and I hated it. I completely destroyed all his hopes about us, while I knew how hard he was trying to make it right. Yes, we went through some terrible fucking shit, but never has anyone cared about me more than he does. And now, he is able to show me how much.

I keep fighting my fear, my fear to trust him because what if he'll just go back to the way he was all these years ago? And what if we'll fall back into the same toxic pattern and we'll destroy each other even further? But then, what if I could finally admit to myself that no matter how much he would hurt me, I'd always run back to him and still love him? Because that's what I do, and it's gotta mean something. Sometimes giving people a second chance is like giving him the knife back with which they already stabbed you with, but sometimes it could be a chance to finally appreciate and love all you took for granted. And here I am, laying on my bed, wondering, thinking, fighting with myself about what I want, what I need, and what I feel.

Sure, I can run to Greece and I can run to California, I can pack my bags and go somewhere where I would never see him again, but I won't. I always find myself right beside him.

I picked up my phone and called him.

A/N
Yes, I know. I'm so sorry!!! I should've updated ages ago!!! I PROMISE I'll update one more chapter soon! I love you guys soooo much for all the patience you're literally the best ❤️❤️❤️

With lots of love,
Sb12