Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 28: The Verdict

It seems like I wait for hours for everyone to come out of the courthouse. The snow melts into the heat of my skin until, eventually, I become cold enough that it sticks. I'm grateful when I can no longer feel my feet. When the trial ends, a rush of people exit out of the grand front facade, a jumble of coats and limbs.

I see my mom come out of the tall front door, moving far slower than the crowd pushing past her.

The tears are drying on her face. Dark, purpling patches line the hollow of her cheeks and eyes. She stares at me, with eyes that are an exact match to Lucy, but I get the sense that she does not see me there. I am a stranger to her.

I stand up and walk towards her on unsteady legs. She watches my progress absently, still frozen on the stairs.

"Mom," I say, but I don't know how to continue. I reach out and place a hand on her shoulder. I'm surprised by how bony her frame has become in just a few short days.

"They're killing him," she says, as hollow as an empty cradle.

"Mom," I repeat, my voice strangled and warped.

"You are not my daughter," she replies simply.

The shock makes me weak. She pulls away from my grasp with no trouble, and my shaking legs force me back down to the wet ground. She walks away with unsteady footsteps, like a drunk.

I hold my arms tightly to my chest, feeling even colder than before. I hear a few cameras click as journalists take the last few photos of the abused, abandoned daughter of the upper beta, alone at the courthouse. I tighten my shoulders and grip my knees, wanting to disappear. I glance at the last group leaving the courthouse, but I do a double take for two members of the court that I hadn't noticed when I was up on the stage.

It's Alpha and Luna Dixon, Cordelia's parents. I remember the last time I talked to them and the way their eyes hardened when Orion walked in.

I don't know what I expect in their faces. Maybe I expected them to look sad that their Beta is convicted for his crimes, or relieved that he's been taken away?

The Dixon's don't look sad or relieved. They look angry. And afraid. They look like my Father did, powerless in a jail cell. They wear black cloaks, and they seem like ravens against the grey of the sky.

They haven't seen me, yet, and I tuck my head further into my shoulders, hoping they won't notice me. Luna Dixon turns to leave, tugging her coat tighter around herself. I exhale, creating a white cloud in the freezing air, and I swear, for a moment, Alpha Dixon's eyes land on me.

His expression darkens into obvious hatred.

I freeze, but the next moment, he follows after his mate, not even sparing a glance in my direction.

What was that?

And then I feel the large, gnawing hole reopen in my chest and I desperately miss Elia. I thought it was already gone. I thought I was already past the grief, but my ribs almost seem to vibrate with the force of missing her. Goddess, what would she say, now?

She would make this so much easier.

I should probably be back at the palace. I wonder if the guards that escorted me here at the beginning of the trial are looking for me; I wouldn't want my mental break to make it harder for them. I pull myself up, beginning to stand, but my feet are even more numb than before, and they slip slightly on an icy patch on the stairs.

I balance myself, barely. Hysteria begins building in my chest, like everything is sloshing around in my lungs, but I've experienced it so often that it's more like peace than panic.