Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 24: Declarations

After I get back to my room, I shut the door behind me softly. I breathe out a single sigh of shock before sliding to the ground, my back against the door.

What did I just do?

I'm not a reckless person, generally. I like to know the consequences of my actions before I commit to them.

So why did I just, with total abandon, kiss the prince?

And, goddess, why do I want to kiss him again?

Despite my best efforts, a tipsy sort of smile erupts on my face.

He was so - soft. So much softer than I was expecting. Soft and warm. When I close my eyes, I can almost still feel his hands, tentative, touching lightly on my waist. I can see his face, his lips slightly reddened, his eyes unfocused and beautiful, the way his voice wavered when he asked me if I wanted to stay.

But when I next blink, I see Dad's face, smiling at my mother, telling her that he loved her. I see my mother's face, flushed in adoration, neck-deep in a love that destroyed her.

The heat dies in my chest. I pull my knees closer to me.

No! The idealist inside of me screams. No, he's different. He won't end up like Dad.

I'm staying, anyway, for Lucy. I've already made the decision. It will be easier on both of us if I believe his promise not to hurt us, even if it turns into a lie. I should, at least, revel in the few years of happiness that we might have, shouldn't I?

But I can't seem to get the giddy warmth started in my chest.

I'm not desirable. I'm not particularly beautiful, especially by werewolf standards. I'm too skinny. And, ever since my first shift, 8 years ago -

I shake my head.

I can give it a chance. I can be logical about this. Not everyone is my father. There are good people in the world. Maybe Orion really is one of them.

He needs full disclosure. He needs to know everything. As I pace the length of my room, anxiously waiting for the sun to brighten the horizon, I make a resolution that I'm going to tell him everything. The ball, and why I was there, and why I was working at the palace and running from him the whole time.

I can do that. It's just talking, right? Just talking about the worst aspects of my life.

As soon as it's late enough that I think Orion will be awake, I resolutely make my way towards the bedroom door.

I open the door before jumping back, slightly startled. The Prince is standing before me, his hand half-raised like he was about to knock.

"Orion!"

He blinks at me, surprised, and I can't help but notice the way his lips are parted in surprise. I shift slightly on my feet, unsure of how to begin.

"We need to talk," we both say at the same time.

-

Orion looks like he doesn't know how to begin. I shift on the chair in my room, anxiety crocheting my intestines into knots.

"My mate -" he eventually begins, but the word seems to catch in his throat. He coughs slightly and tries again.

"Being my mate - it comes with certain - obligations."

Of course it does. His mate will be the future Queen Luna. Something pops in my chest like a deflating balloon.

"So I just - I wanted to say - Goddess, this is harder than I thought it would be."