Take your time - Trixya

Eighteen

Violet turns to katya, the small oxy-pill resting on her tongue. Katya laughs and kisses Violet, the tablet swiftly getting passed between their mouths.
"That one's a journey going down" violet whispers loudly, not managing to contain her laugh. Katya starts laughing too, before getting spellbound by a misplaced hair in Violet's face. She brushes it away with an extreme sense of focus, and looks into her eyes. They're bigger than usual, a clear sign that whatever that red haired girl passed her has kicked in.
"I love you" katya says, still looking at her as if it was a question. Violet laughs again.
"I love you too, stupid"
Katya smiles, but quickly drops it as she sees a familiar figure looking at her direction from the other side of the room.
At least she thinks they're looking at her.
"What is it babe?" Violet asks, and katya mumbles something in response before hastily getting up and walking towards the figure.
"Willow?"
Willow doesn't answer, just studies katya from top to bottom.
"It's .. nice to see you again" katya continues. Willow smiles weakly.
"Really? I wasn't sure if you could see me"
Katya frowns and turns her head down.
"I haven't even taken that much" she mumbles, which would've been more convincing if she could just get her legs to feel less shaky.
"Yeah, you seem sober as a judge"
"Look, if you just come here to pull your normal stunts then I'll just go back to the group", she turns away from Willow, waiting a few seconds for her to say something else. Anything. When she doesn't say anything, she starts walking again, the familiar knot in her throat building.
It's just so bizarre being in this situation, they used to be inseparable, staying up until 4 am just talking about nothing and everything. And now she's slowing down her steps just to give her time to stop her.
"Do you want me to stop you?", Willow finally asks.
'Yes' katya thinks.
"No"
It all just hurts so bad. She doesn't want to fear for her life every day, but giving up that lifestyle means losing the one person she's certain that she loves.
They stand there quietly again, Katya's back still turned.
"Just say the word and I'll help you" Willow continues, her voice steady as usual.
'Please save me, Willow. Get me out of here, get me away from her, please'  katya thinks again, the words practically trying to tear themselves out of her.
"I'm happy here, Willow" she mumbles, the words strained.
She can't leave. She's almost certain.
She doesn't bear to look at Willow, scared that she'll see right through her.
"Alright then"
Willow walks past her, her heels clacking rhythmically against the floor of the club until she's out of sight.
The world goes from slow motion to moving too fast, in a second she's gone, maybe forever, and katya missed her chance. There's no stopping her, this isn't a movie, she can't run after Willow and live happily ever after.
Katya turns towards the wall, letting go of the tears that have been waiting to come out. It feels like they're burning her skin like acid, and she clutches her chest as her heart joins in.
Right then she could've just as well been shot.

—————

"I think we should go" Trixie says, biting her lower lip. There's a familiar glimpse of excitement in her eyes, and katya already knows she won't be able to convince her otherwise. She laughs a bit at the pure aura of joy surrounding Trixie.

"A party at a basically alcoholic crossdresser's house plus a recovering addict sounds like a perfect match" katya jokes. Of course that's not her actual worry, Trixie has dragged her along to different clubs and house parties like it was a walk to the beach these past years. What she's worried about is attending a party at the very house violet lives, but this might not be the best time to bring it up.

"Aw, come on babe, I'll make sure you don't go mistaking vodka for water or whatever"
"Like you have, numerous times?"
Trixie pushes katya away, doing her best to hide a smile.
"Fine, I'll go to Danny's stupid party"
Trixie squeals in excitement and hugs her tightly.