Take your time - Trixya

Twenty

"I don't recognize myself" katya exclaims to the mirror. Violet puts a hand on her bare shoulder, not knowing how to respond. Katya doesn't seem to notice her girlfriends attempts at comfort, simply lifting her hand to follow her unusually sharp cheekbone. She continues down her face, stroking out her sunken cheeks, all the way along her jawline and up to the bags under her eyes.
"It's like I'm dying" she continues, spellbound by her silhouette.
"You're not dying" violet whispers, resting her head against hers. "You're beautiful. You always will be"
Katya avoids saying anything. Too occupied keeping her tears in.
"I don't want to die" katya mumbles, her voice fading as her emotions take over. Violet spins katya around, facing her instead of the mirror.
"Baby, you have to listen to me" her arms tightens around katya. "You're not going to die. You're not. You just.. I mean you had that cold where you didn't want to eat? With your metabolism it wouldn't be that strange" she attempts to laugh, but it comes out dry and desperate. She knows it's bullshit, but what else can she say? Nonetheless, she's not ready to quit. Maybe in a few months, or when they move out of here. Perhaps it could be a fresh start.
"Yeah" is all katya manages to respond, a strained silence falling between them.
—
Trixie bounces her leg nervously on the floor of Katya's porch, trying to avoid biting her nails as it would make her seem like a complete wreck. Not that she wasn't, but she desperately wants to seem put together.

The past few days had been really strange, because even though trixie had tried her very best to ignore what Violet had told her, it was constantly in the back of her head.

She fiddles with the straps of her bag containing the things necessary if she decides to leave today. The packing had left her in tears, but she couldn't think of anything else to do. At least not before she got an answer.

Katya had left the house to visit Willow as it was one of her few days off, and should have returned at least five minutes ago. Trixie pulls her jacket around herself tighter, trying to shield herself from the cold wind.
As she does, the glass door behind her opens, and Katya steps out.

"Ugh, sorry, I thought you were inside" she apologizes as she slips on a pair of sneakers."What's up?"
Trixie clears her throat, trying not to sound confrontational.
"Can we talk?"
Katya glances at the bag in her hands, and her eyes fill with a way too familiar panic.
"Is everything okay?" She asks cautiously.

Trixie stands up, her eyes glued to the ground.
"Can you just tell me the truth? About violet?"
Katya furrows her brows, eyeing Trixie up and down.
"I have, I've told you everything, in Boston-"
"Not that, Katya". Trixie sighs deeply. "She confronted me at Danny's party. She told me about what happened when you went to their house"

Katya opens her mouth, and Trixie can tell from her demeanor that she's about to go on another desperate rant. She interrupts her before she has the chance to start.

"I don't care if you kissed, I don't care about any of that, But she's your ex girlfriend and even though you deny it I know you're not over her. And it's not the romance or whatever, she hurts you, she fucks you up, and even if you leave me for her-"
"I wouldn't, I would never-"
"Listen to me, Katya" Trixie drills her eyes into the girl in front of her, making sure she is listening. "Even if you would, I wouldn't be jealous. I would be scared shitless. What's gonna happen to your sobriety?"
"I've told you a million times, I don't have feelings for her. I would never go back because I know-"
"Then why'd you kiss her?"
Katya gets silent.

They finally break eye contact when Trixie hoists her bag over her shoulder.
"I'm gonna stay with my mom for a while. Don't talk to me before you've come up with a solid answer, because I don't have time to for more of this 'running around in a circle' shit."

Katya's mind runs quickly trying to come up with something to say as Trixie turns her back.
"Wait-" she exclaims, still unsure of what to say. She just needs Trixie to stay a bit longer
.
"...I love you" Katya says quietly, all her energy going out of her with those words. In the cold air on Katya's porch, they feel so small. So weak. Just like the russian herself.
Trixie's eyes are hauntingly unaffected by her declaration, and she brushes the strands of hair that the wind messed up out of her face.

"I know" she answers, gripping the straps of her bag tighter in the silence that follows.
"You just love her more"she continues.

Katya opens her mouth to answer, but closes it again. Trixie scoffs before turning around and walking off.
—————
Hi guys, sorry for not updating in such a long time, I've been working on two other stories so I've got my hands full haha. I haven't given up on this one, though, so be sure to stick around!!