outerbanks imagines.

breakouts-jj

i held my breath while closing the door behind me,
as though depriving myself of it would silence my motions any.
when it closed shut and i was finally able to lock it,
i exhaled to relieve my burning lungs.
but the trouble was far from over.
"look who finally decided to come home,"
my mother spoke with a smug look on her face.
i groaned at my failed attempts then hurried to say,
"i'm sorry. i lost track of time."
"it's five in the morning, y/n. losing track of time would be, like, eleven. you're six hours past your curfew. are you serious?"
she stepped forward to corner me some,
but i backed away in hopes the smell of alcohol wouldn't reach her.
but my luck was beginning to run out 
"and you reek of alcohol."
"it's summer, mom. i just wanted to have a little fun."
when she crossed her arms,
letting her thoughts gather,
i knew there was an anticipating punishment that extended further beyond normal restrictions.
"we let you have your fun hanging with those lowlifes. but it ends here, now. do you understand me?"
i furrowed my eyebrows at this.
it wasn't like her to try and disband my friends and i,
though her dislike for them has always been known,
she's never overstepped.
until now.
i couldn't make sense of it.
"you can't just stop me from seeing my friends, mom,"
i protested with shaking hands.
"i can't? you know as well as i do that i'm the parent, i can do as i please. it's your responsibility as my daughter to follow my rules."
her voice was stern,
warning me to shut down and accept it,
but i simply couldn't.
what was i to do without my friends?
i'd never imagined a day without them but now i was being forced to.
"they're my friends!"
"they're bad influences and i forbid you to see them anymore! you do not belong in the cut and i won't let it go on for any longer!"
i knew then i'd lost this argument.
panic flooded my veins and made my heart pound at the thought of no longer seeing my best friends.
it hurt more than i ever knew any breakup to feel.
maybe it pained me more knowing this wasn't of my own volition.
as i stormed into the room meant for my resting,
but now felt like a prison,
i felt the shake of the house beneath the slamming of the door.
options were forming in my mind,
all desperate attempts to keep up with the friends i knew so well.
i could sneak around and hang with them,
after dark, after hours.
i shook my head.
someone on the island would tell.
if there's one thing this island thrives on,
it's drama and gossip.
i would be the center of it,
knowing my mother forbade me from seeing them;
i felt like a child.
i couldn't believe she was take away the only group of friends i'd been able to make since moving here.
it felt cruel.
and when i laid back against my pillows to force myself asleep,
i wondered if maybe my mother was cruel.
oh, what am i going to do?
***
the next morning began by my phone ringing on the dresser.
i reached over and answered with the sleep still set in my throat.
"where you at, kook? the waves are real nice today,"
jj greeted.
i could hear his smile through the phone and it pained me to imagine i'd only ever see it again from afar.
"i can't. i'm kind of grounded."
"uh oh. did someone get caught sneaking in last night?"
he teased with a singsong tone.
i giggled as best my heavy heart could and shook my head.
"yep, someone did."
"well, just let me know if anything changes. you know where to find us."
and with that,
the phone call ended and i was back in the quiet room,
forced to face the harsh facts.
when i took a quick look out of my window,
i noticed a certain mothers car was gone from the driveway.
a shiver of excitement slid up my spine at this.
it couldn't have been anymore perfect than this.
i could leave,
be with my friends for just a few hours longer,
then be back before she returned from work.
i quickly slipped into a bathing suit and covered it with clothes on top then grabbed my keys before heading to the garage for my board.
"where you going?"
the icy voice made me jump as i took one step into the garage.
she had been behind me,
practically waiting for this moment.
she seemed much more spiteful these days.
"catch some sun, surf a little bit. you know, since i have no friends to hang out with anymore."
"do i look stupid to you?"
i stood in silence,
taking this moment to joke and hopefully ease her anger,
"you want me to answer that honestly?"
but it only seemed to light the fuse.
she began yelling curses that extended from the depths of her throat,
making me flinch and hurry to say,
"it was a joke mom. please, mellow out."
i headed for the front door in hopes she'd give up and let me make my great escape,
but i had been disappointed yet again.
she planted herself right in front of the door,
preventing my leave.
"why're you even here and not at work?"
"i'm off today. your father has my car."
"oh, really? that's nice...so, uh, can you please move now, mom? the waves won't be high for long."
"i know what you're up to, y/n. i'm not stupid. put the board back and go up to your room. your attitude has been atrocious today and i refuse to let you step foot out with the way you've been behaving."
"seriously? first you ban me from seeing my friends now i can't even leave? you must want me to go insane. this is, like, prison!"
"if that's what it takes to fix this attitude, then so be it."
i groaned into my hands before walking up the stairs slowly,
waiting until her back was turned.
if she could spend her days plotting to keep me locked up,
then i could spend them outsmarting her.
the moment she lingered in the kitchen,
i hurried down from the staircase and ran full force out of the front door.
"y/n l/n! get back here right now!"
my mother yelled from the front porch.
i pretended i couldn't hear her over the sound of my tires against the pavement.
i made my way to my friends,
high off of an adrenaline that felt so wrong.
i had to remind myself:
she deserves this.
she berates me for existing and forces me to become an outcast.
i won't stand for it anymore.
i soon arrived on the beach and began pedaling out,
immediately seeing my friends hover in the water.
"y/n!"
they all cheered as i joined.
"it's me, it's me!"
i returned with the same bright smile.
"jj told us you were grounded."
"i was..i am. i made a break for it."
their eyes widened at my antics,
leaving jj become the first to speak,
"pogue style! nice!"
we joined for a high-five that felt too good for the awful reasoning behind it.
but as we spent the rest of the afternoon surfing and soaking in the sun,
having as much fun as we could,
it seemed to slip from my mind and become nonexistent.
all that mattered was which wave i caught and how much longer i could tolerate being so close to jj without wanting to pull him into me.
finally we grounded back on the sand and decided to meet at the chateau to continue our party.
i agreed to go for the fun of it,
but truth was i was completely avoiding home.
"i'm driving,"
jj announced as he swiped the keys from my palm the moment i was distracted.
i laughed at this and agreed,
partially because i couldn't ever deny jj.
the skin where his hand brushed mine was warm and humming from his simple touch.
i was falling apart at the seams.
"think it's pretty cool how you ran out today,"
jj said on our drive to john b's.
i turned my head from the window to face him and asked,
"yeah?"
"yeah,"
he confirmed.
"pretty bad ass, if you ask me."
i snickered at his comment but realized his gaze hadn't left mine once we stopped at the red light.
"what, jj?"
"you're still a mystery to me. beautiful, smart, rich, yet you waste time slumming it with us instead of..what is it rich people do? write essays for college and sip champagne at eight am?"
"i can't have friends outside of figure eight?"
jj shrugged at this,
as though the question were simple.
"i mean.. you're not really supposed to."
the light turned green,
so i turned his attention towards it.
"whatever! y'all are fun. way less superficial."
"that's true,"
he agreed without another word of it.
"what time you going home?"
"probably around eleven, my curfew. figured i'm already in enough trouble."
"ah yes, because going home will excuse the breaking out you did."
we both laughed at each other's taunting until we were parked.
i went to get out but found that jj was still in his seat.
i turned my attention back to him.
"you okay over there?"
"can i be a hundred percent honest with you, right quick?"
"yeah, definitely."
jj waited a few beats,
i counted by the racing in my heart,
until he said,
"i can't be your friend any longer."
"what?"
the confusion grew on my face at his confession.
what had i done wrong?
so wrong that he felt the need to drop our friendship this quickly?
surely it wasn't a class thing.
that had never bothered him before.
this was torture to my mind as he fumbled with the right words to say.
"no, i just meant....i don't think i can sit here and act like i'm your best friend when all i can think about is the next time i get to see you, y/n. i think about you every second of every day and when you're not around i feel almost empty. and then...you're there and everything's a little brighter, everything feels better. you're incredible and i like you so much it's driving me insane."
"jj, you like me?"
"i don't even know if like covers it, y/n. it consumes me, almost. i just want to make you as happy as you make me. but, like, as your...your boyfriend."
all of this was new information.
but it filled me with ecstasy because for so long,
i had begged this words to spill from him.
and now that they had,
everything else would fall perfectly into place.
i opened my mouth to return the confession,
to admit i was just as in love with him,
until my car door opened and kie spoke,
"y'all coming or what?"
"yeah, yeah, we're coming,"
i said to give us an extra few seconds alone.
"we'll continue this later, okay?"
jj nodded in understanding as we piled out of the car and into the house.
we spent hours laughing over one another,
playing games that we made our own rules to,
sipping slowly on cool drinks,
all while jj and i tried to ignore the pining building between us.
unfortunately,
the time rolled right past us and it was now time for my departure.
i stood up to announce my leave,
but my eyes caught jj's and all the wind had been knocked loose from my lungs.
it was startling to see that much ardor piled into one set of eyes.
it was enchanting though,
i craved it even as i looked away to my friends.
"i'm gonna head out before my mom calls the national guard, if she hasn't already. i'll see you guys soon, i'll make sure of it."
they all said goodbye in unison and watched me walk out,
until i heard the familiar pattern of jj's footsteps behind mine.
i turned to say something,
but felt his firm body collide with mine before i could utter a word.
i was pressed against the side of my car,
jj's arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me in for a kiss that made my knees weak.
i nearly buckled over,
grateful he was there to hold me,
and let every ounce of fervor building inside of me loose.
we'd waited for this golden moment for god knows how long;
it was as intoxicating as i could have imagined,
if not more.
i felt my head spin beneath these lips i often dreamed of and noticed his grip on me was tightening,
an attempt to pull me as close as he could.
i had to pull away,
for the sake of my burning lungs and surely angry mother waiting.
we couldn't possibly get enough.
jj leaned his forehead against mine,
matching my heavy breathing,
then traced my now swollen lip with his thumb.
"i'll see you in about three years when your mom finally decides to unground you,"
jj said with a laugh.
i echoed it and ran my fingers through his blonde locks.
"maybe we'll get lucky and she'll allow visitation hours."
"mm,"
he agreed in a hum,
pressing a gentle kiss to my lips for good measure.
"i'll sneak in sometime, i'm sure. you love trouble."
"trouble loves me,"
i corrected,
giving him one last hug until i was set on my way home.
once i walked in,
my mother was standing at the door.
i could see the anger set in the pressing of her lips.
i prepared myself on the ride home for this.
"how dare you!"
she shrieked,
pointing a finger at me and my insolence.
as hard as i tried not to,
i zoned out completely.
all i could think of was jj and the kiss we shared,
the relationship we were now in,
and how beautiful it would become in just days to come.
despite having to sneak him around,
we would make it work.
because we love each other.
the reminder made my heart throb deep in my chest.
"are you even listening to me, y/n l/n?"