forbidden love-jj

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how many times had we said it?
there is nobody else but you.
i tuck this promise away into the vessels of my heart and fill up on the vows jj has made to me.
"there you are."
i look up from the sky that's turning orange and find solace in my sunburnt lover.
"here i am."
jj sits beside me and presses a kiss to my temple.
"did you have fun today?"
he asks while letting the knuckle of his index finger trace down the line of my cheekbone.
"always,"
i answer.
my skin is warm with the fading sun,
but it's turning near sweltering under jj's affection.
"good. you deserve the best."
jj nudges me at the remark and makes me laugh.
"what do i need all that for when i have you?"
the boy chuckles beneath his breath then lets his eyes gloss over me.
every inch of me is aflame under his stare of admiration.
he pulls me closer to him until our lips are one.
"you sure know how to make a guy swoon, y/n. i'll give you that."
"thank you,"
i whisper through the stun gathered in my throat.
kissing jj is an indulgence i fear i'll never grow accustomed to.
a few more seconds together and i feel this future of mine solidify.
jj and i will make it out of this town.
we have to.
as though he's had this same epiphany,
jj turns to me with eyes clouded over in vehement gloss.
"i'd do anything for you...you know that right?"
he lets his hand fall down my cheek as he asks.
i nod because my voice has seemed to disappear beneath jj's spell.
he notices my stun and gives me the very charming smile i fell for so many months ago.
"i'll pack up so we can head out. give you some time to find your words again,"
he teases with a kiss to my cheek.
i watch from over my shoulder as jj saunters down the boardwalk back to where our belongings rest undisturbed and i don't look away until i can hardly see him anymore.
i turn back to this melting sky of golden glory and mollify beneath it.
my life has become grand with this newfound love of mine.
i haven't known a bad day since jj slipped his warm hands into mine.
the sound of footsteps against the surface of where i sit makes me turn back around.
i expect jj but find miserable company instead.
"well, if it isn't little miss perfect,"
the kook boys now surround me,
drowning in their entitlement and wearing smug smiles.
"not so little anymore though, is she?"
one of them taunts.
i stand,
fold my arms across my torso to shield my exposed skin,
and manage my strongest voice to say,
"shut up."
"oh!"
they laugh.
"not so nice, huh? must mean she's got boyfriend now. you know, y/n,"
the boy begins as he steps closer to me with a smirk.
"a mouth like that will surely get you into trouble one day."
though my hearts races and my skins curls in disgust,
i curl my lip up at him.
"you're vile."
the boy opens his mouth but is soon interrupted.
jj has shoved this unnamed intimidator then faces him to say,
"big man here, aren't you? waits until a girls all by herself to corner her. you're all a bunch of pussies."
i watch the fury pulsing through jj channel itself in the balling of his fists.
i want to speak out and say something,
but my throat has dried up and my legs are weak.
i curse myself for this shelled living;
never able to stand up for myself and the ones i love.
i force my immobile legs forward until i'm close enough to mold my hand into jj's.
silence falls over the group,
even more so in jj,
at my act of announcement.
he relaxes under my touch and gives me the strength i lack yet so desperately need.
"your boyfriend is a pogue?"
topper steps forward with the disdain clear on his face.
i take note of the way he says the word like a curse,
like a branding jj will never be free from.
"you just don't quit, do you?"
i ask topper.
he furrows his eyebrows together.
"i don't know what you mean..."
"you just cannot fathom the idea that i don't want to be with you."
topper rolls his eyes at my claim,
but the embarrassment covers his face in crimson.
"your mother wouldn't be too happy to know you're slumming around with a pogue, would she?"
jj's temper begins to flare.
i can feel it in his hand that's yet to still,
even as it rests in my own. 
before jj can wreak havoc the way he wants,
and the way i wish he might,
i break free from his grip and allow for the palm of my hand to connect with topper's cheek.
"and your mother would be so proud of her egotistical son who can't take no for an answer, wouldn't she?"
i spit through gritted teeth.
"you will never be the man jj is. you will spend your life wishing and praying to be, but you will always be unheard and remain this disgusting shell of a boy."
topper cradles his cheek that's reddening from the impact then looks to me.
blackened anger coats his eyes and makes me flinch.
before i can back away,
topper has raised a hand of his own to me.
but before the strike can find me,
jj has finally gotten his chance.
his fist collides with topper's abdomen and forces him to double over in pain.
the panic claws up from my chest and into my throat once i notice the rest of the group is preparing to overpower jj.
but before i let that happen,
i take jj's shaking hand and force him away.
despite his protests,
begging for me to let him go so he might teach them all a lesson,
him and i run until we're in the safety of the car.
we hear nothing but the ringing of our own ears.
then once my adrenaline slows,
i put my head into my hands and sigh.
"i hate them."
jj looks to me with lips pressed together then reaches out for me.
i accept his offer and crawl into the drivers seat with him,
where i soon fall limp in his arms.
how protected i feel.
"thank you for sticking up for me...for us,"
jj whispers as he kisses the top of my head.
"i didn't do much, jj...and i'm-i'm sorry. i don't know why it's so hard for me to speak up."
i breath out in hopes of slowing these rising tears.
"you don't deserve that. i should have done more."
jj brushes my arms slowly with his fingertips then let's a confession slip from his lips,
"you can't believe that. y/n, believe me, nobody has ever done something like that for-for me. i'll never stop thanking you for it, y/n."
a beat passes and then comes the words,
"i love you."
i look up at him and let my fingers dance across his cheek in the rhythm of a caress.
"you love me?"
"absolutely. i love you more than words could ever hope to explain."
all of the guilt and the fear i once felt becomes nothingness under this blanket of hope.
i exhale a breath of relief and watch as jj smiles.
"come on...don't get all speechless now."
he presses a kiss to the column of my throat then whispers,
"don't leave me hanging."
i can feel his smirk to my skin.
so i let the laughter rise and i return the truthful confession,
"i love you, jj."
jj and i then spend the rest of the night together in celebration of this milestone.
the spectacle from earlier that threatened to sour our  perfect day falls to unworthy mentions now that we've found greater comfort in one another.
i am in love with someone who loves me just as greatly.
and there is nothing that could ruin it.

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