Shin Soukoku One-shots

Akutagawa•Atsushi: Sayonara, Atsushi...

Okay guys so this is a multi-Pov one so Akutagawa's POV will be regular letters and then Atsushi's will be like how it is this part minus the bold sorta like (hey). So yeah on to the story we go.

It has been two days. Two days since I lost him. The one person that kept me sane. The one person that I truly loved. The love of my life. Atsushi Nakajima. Even his name fit him. And to think that in a matter of days his name would be Atsushi Akutagawa. Ironic.

These past two days have been, well, hell to say the least. I didn't eat, drink, sleep or cry. All I could do was sit here looking at the empty bed.

Empty, like my heart.

I know, I probably sound pathetic, hell I am pathetic, but what can I do?

Atsushi, my love, I hope you are doing okay.

I am fine Ryu. It's you that I'm worried about.

I didn't deserve you. It was my fault. If it weren't for me, you would still be alive.

No Ryu, it wasn't your fault! Don't take the blame yourself!

You would probably say that it's not my fault if you were here. I wanna believe it. Trust me I really do.

It's just so damn hard, trying to get your voice calling for me our of my mind. It's hard, forgetting that image. Your body, laying limp on the side walk as you gasped to breathe.

Hell, I didn't even get to tell you a last 'I love you'. I didn't even get to hug you one last time.

You probably can't hear me. I'm just talking to myself. Great I'm going crazy.

I can hear you Ryu. You're not crazy.

Many people have tried to console me. First Dazai, then Chuuya, Mori, Gin, Kunikida. I appreciate the fact that they're here for me, but it's different.

I miss you. And it's only been two days. I miss your beautiful smile, those sparkling eyes when you learned something new, your soft hair, I miss your hugs, your soft, warm body pressed against mine, hell, I even miss your moans! I will miss you so much!

I miss you too, Ryu. I will miss your warmth. Your hugs. Your kisses. That gentle laugh when I kissed you good morning. I will miss you too.

Most people would just wanna forget. But I don't. I don't want to forget the one person that colored my black and white life. The one person that made my heart skip a beat every time he smiled. The one person that made me feel warm and fuzzy all over. I don't want to forget you.

You won't forget me Ryu. And I won't even care if you will. It's not easy remembering a dead person.

No. I definitely won't forget you. I won't allow someone like you to leave my memory. Even if I die!

I know Ryu. You don't have to convince anyone. Not me. Not you. Not anyone.

Do you remember? We'd get married next month. The white suit looked great on you. You'd be such a lovely husband.

Do you remember? When we talked about adopting a child? Well, I will. I will adopt a child and name it Atsushi. Just like you. I will have something to at least remind me of my first love in my life.

Ryu, you looked handsome in that suit. It matched your eyes. Those deep black orbs that made me melt every time I saw them. I will love our child. Yes. Our child. Even if I'm dead I will still love it. With my entire heart and soul.

I will make sure to protect our child. I couldn't protect you, but I will do my best to protect it. You probably blame me for your death.

Please, Ryu, don't blame yourself. You couldn't have done anything! I don't blame you not even a little bit! It was just the bad timing! I don't wanna hear you blame yourself ever again! You hear me?! Never!