Chapter 20: Less Neglected [Edited]

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Y/N

"Start the rail" my loud yell resonated in the large hall as I tried to reach out to the men in the control room. Within seconds the queue of human figurines in front of me started moving side ways and I prepared to take my aim.

With my PKM Machine gun standing straight against my palms I closed one of my eye and squinted the other in a narrow slit focusing entirely on the white wood cut outs. Concentric circles littered the entire torso of the inanimate bodies marking the accuracy scale but all I had my gaze on was the tiny spot right at the center.

Setting my target as close as possible to the mark I shut my eyes one last time. I took a deep breath in, filling up my lungs with the air stifled of retribution and as I reopened my eyes, to my surprise there was a face in front of me. It was the face I hated, a face I refrained myself from recognizing, a face I saw every time I faced a mirror.

My stature immediately morphed into an enraged one and I pulled the trigger. I hated myself for what I had become. I was someone who could kill people effortlessly. I never knew I had it in me but now I was a professional assassin and I loathed myself for that. 

I ended up shooting the fake figurine multiple times rendering it with a huge crater at the center. All I did was shoot a target with acute perfection but what I saw in my head was a series of bullets lodged right into my own skull. And it hurt.

It hurt my hands to hold the heavy metal, it hurt my body to hold the heavy heart.

"Well done sis, you are getting better" the sound of Jin came swirling from behind along with a faint rhythmic clap. I turned around and walked to the bench that held the gun case. I placed the gun down in its case and removed my headphones, keeping it beside the resting gun. It didn't take me much time to brush off my despondency and I moved to face Jin with the realest fake smile I had up my sleeves.

"I hope I am" I remarked making the older man pat my shoulder.

"Why are you here though?" I asked as we both made our ways out of the training chamber and up the stairs into the living room. The training room also posed as a safe hideout in times of emergency. So we had it concealed under ground. The door to the secret space was through a removable tile on the floor board.

"I came here with a news....the police chief and his team is searching for Lieutenant Jungkook"

"And?"

The man frowned at my unfazed question and returned it with an annoyed glare.

"What you mean by 'And?' ? They are searching for us Y/N. The only reason we are still enjoying our freedom is because we never left a clue of our deeds. But if they somehow find Jungkook, everything will be over! They will get the evidence they need and we will be punished.....don't you understand that!?" the composure I always found my older cousin with was missing from his face today and it bothered me.

"What do you want me to do Jin?"

"Isn't that obvious? Kill that cop and dispose his body off in some far away lake or just bury him somewhere but do something. And if you can't then let us take over!"

The thought of killing Jungkook hit me like a sharp knife right into my heart and I looked at Jin with wide eyes.

"Look Y/N, I know these things are new for you. I know you since you were born. The girl who cried her heart out when Mufasa died is now the leader of a deadly mafia gang. I know its hard for you to kill people like they are some pesky ants but I am not forcing you with anything. You are the leader and I respect you, I just want your permission and I'll be happy to take him out on my own and end his life once and for all. You need to understand that he is a threat to us, even if he is locked under our roof."

Jin was right. I was weary of eradicating people like ants. Even if I claimed myself as Kim Brute, the Y/N I grew up to be was still somewhere inside of me and her heart hurt every time I shot a person to their demise. I was afraid that the dead people would haunt me at the darkest of nights and thrash my soul until I drown in remorse and croak in my own guilt. I was afraid that following this path I would end up killing the little girl barely surviving in me, awaiting the light to penetrate through my thick skin. I knew killing her would turn me into a complete demon and I feared that. 

But was that the only reason I didn't want Jungkook dead?

I told the man that I was keeping him alive because he reminded me of my purpose, that I was born to be a villain and to some extent, it was true. But it wasn't the entire truth.

There was something deeper inside that was refraining me from suffocating the man to death and even though I hid it from other's eyes quite well, I couldn't deny it from myself. I tried though.

Jungkook and I had a relationship that was hardly healthy. We hated each other's guts and every encounter I had with him led me to smack him right across his face or shove him against the wall while the later voices about how much he despises me. But even if our conversations were weaved with beads of differences, I still found someone to talk to in him and it felt less lonely to have him around. Unlike my other few victims, Jungkook wasn't scared of me and that made me feel less of a freak. I knew Yoongi was always there for me no matter what and I was immensely grateful to have him but he was practically family and families are supposed to be there for each other. I knew Yoongi considered it his responsibility to take care of me and that made me feel like a burden. I wanted somebody else in my vicinity and Jeon Jungkook ended up being the one. 

That day when he treated my wound after we returned from the warehouse, I felt something. I knew he couldn't care less about me, he hates me but he still chose to help me. I was confused as to why he was even bothered but my confusion didn't stop me from feeling weird tingles in my stomach. I felt less neglected and as much as I hate to admit, I liked the feeling.


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To be continued...  

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