How to love (A tsukkiyama fanfic)

Chapter two | Tsukki pov

I couldn't get the question out of my head. Over and over and over all I heard was "Tsukki, have you ever been in love?" Tch, I mean of course I've never been in love, why the hell would I do something so stupid. Who am I kidding... I'm only lying to myself here but I don't seem to be too convincing.
It's just...

I don't know how to love. I can tell myself that love is stupid or that it's not real all I want but I will forever be surrounded in my own ocean of lies.

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"Good morning Tsukki!" "Morning."
"Are you ready for practice?" "Yeah." "I know it's only practice but I'm so excited!" "And why is that yama?" "Because I keep getting better and better at it, and yesterday, Shimada gave me some tips!"

He's so adorable and dorky. He gets excited so easily. Not to mention the freckles. I've felt this way about yama for a long time now and Akiteru has told me that I probably like Yamaguchi.
I doubt that though. Maybe I just find my best friend kind of cute! People think some people are cute but they don't like them.

"Did you or did you not tsukki?" "Did I or did I not what?" "Bring an extra water silly!" "I forgot mine." "Oh, um, yeah." I handed the water to Yamaguchi while he kept blabbering about whatever it was he was talking about before.

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"I'm bored." Yama stated. It was a warm breezy day and Yama and I weren't talking. Neither of us minded though, we sat silently and comfortably while the green grass and breeze would make the stilness so utterly perfect. "Here." I took out my headphones and put one in my ear while I gave the other to Yama. We sat there for the whole lunch break, almost forgetting about the world surrounding us. Something about it all made me feel something bigger than that small admiration. I'm sure it's nothing though.

I could never love Yamaguchi.

I don't think I could ever love Yamaguchi...

No

I

Do

Not

Love

Yamaguchi