How to love (A tsukkiyama fanfic)

Chapter nine | Yama pov

"Tsukki!" "Huh, oh hey!" "Why did you hide your phone?" "I didn't." "Okay-"
"Well anyways, do you want to go to the beach!?" "It's really nice out!" "Sure."

"Alright, I'll go home and change, and then come back." "Ok."

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"I'm baaack!" "Let's go." "Okay!" When we got there, I grabbed Tsukki's hand and ran to the water, dragging him along. It was only when we got to the water I realized what I had done so I quickly jerked my hand away. I could feel my face getting red, but Tsukki didn't seem to mind. He just looked at me like I was nobody. But Tsukki hates everybody.

"I brought a volleyball." "But Tsukki neither of us know how to properly set." ... "We can learn." "But I was thinking we could just toss it to eachother." "Oh, okay!" So that's what we did. It's not even when we just go out like this. It's every second we spend together. We can let go of all our problems and just be together. In this lonely world we'll never be alone. Because I have Tsukki, and he has me. We may still just be friends, but these moments are still always filled with love.

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"Isn't it beautiful out Yama?" "Yeah." Night had fallen, most of the people had left so this time, our imaginations didn't have to drown the rest of the world out. It really was just me and Tsukki.

Just Tsukki and me.

The stars were watching us, and they were the only ones there. "Imagine if it was like this all the time Yama." "It kind of is..." "I suppose we have been doing this a lot lately." He looked at me and smiled. He dosen't laugh too much, even I don't see it a lot. But with me, he smiles a lot and nobody else has seen that, that smile. That look he gives me like I'm nobody. "It is really nice when we do this..." "We should do it more often." "More often than we do now?" "Well we weren't really planning on doing this for awhile, so what if we do?" "Tsukki why do we say it like it's abnormal, it's kind of like us just hanging out." "Right?" "Right."

"Did I help?" "With what?" "Do you understand love?"

...

He didn't answer the question.

And I didn't want to say it, but something told me too.

After years of liking, or loving this boy.
I had to say it...

"What if I truly taught you how to love."

And I knew there was no "us" so this wouldn't end well...

"What if this really wasn't abnormal

I had to prepare myself for the worst

"But they were real dates..."

But this was going to hurt more than the worst

"And what if I said...

It came out so easily but felt so awful to say the truth

"I love you"

Because the truth is always dangerous

"And you said it too"

But lies are too.

"Yama..."

"Are you CRAZY!?"

He's never really lashed out like this

"I COULD NEVER SAY I LOVE YOU!"

And the tears came flowing through with a scattered mess of emotions.

"THAT'S DISCUSTING! LOVE IS DISCUSTING!"

And his tears came too

And in the slightest whisper I was able to make it out

"I'll leave."

"We don't have to talk anymore Tsukki."

And when I left I saw him open his mouth. But I heard nothing. There was only silence.