Flash Stories [ Compilation ]

168••🌙NOT COMING BACK

Mama told me "bakit ka pa nag-aaral kung hindi mo man lang maperfect perfect ang exam mo? It's not enough! Never enough!"

"B-but I did my best---"

"Then your best is not enough!"

Her words made me study harder, focus better but when I gave her the honor card I worked hard for. Tila isa akong kawawang anak na hindi maabot ang expectation ng magulang. Isang anak na hindi magawang ipagmalaki ng sariling magulang.

Papa told me "Ano Uupo ka nalang dyan? Batugan! Tumayo ka dyan at tumulong ka dito!"

"P-pero pagod na po ak---"

"Pagod din ako pero umupo ba ako?!"

His mockery made me work hard physically. I spared my self time just to help him work but none of my efforts were appreciated. Am I still a part of this family?

Kuya told me "Ano bang pakealam mo?! Buhay ko ito at labas ka na sa buhay ko!"

"Pero pamilya tayo kuya--"

"Pamilya pa ba ang turing mo sa atin? Mag isip ka nga. Buwag na ang pamilya natin. Buwag na tayo."

His idealism strucked me, as if I received a hard slap across ny face. Kahit anong gawin ko, hindi na muling maaayos ang pamilya ko. We're broken.

My girlfriend told me "Let's break up. Ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na sayo, tapusin na natin to."

"W-why? May iba ka na ba?"

"This won't work out Cian! Di tatagal ang relasyon natin. Wala na tong patutunguhan kaya tapusin na natin to."

Our break up made me feel worse. Why do I have to experience this emotional torture that's mentally killing me? Why me?! My Family is broken, my girlfriend broke up with me and I am not fine. I am broken.

My bestfriend told me. "Naiirita ako. Napakagago mo. Magbibiro ka kahit di ka nakakatawa, ngingiti ka ng nakakainis. Bakit ka pa ba buhay?"

"Gusto mo ba akong mamatay?"

"Oo tangina. Matagal na gago."

His wish echoed through and through me. Keeping me awake at night, overthinking. Why am I still alive?

"Anak. Pagod ka na ba?" Rinig kong tanong ni papa. I nodded but I know he didn't see my response. "Rest well anak. Hahayaan na kitang magpahinga. Alam kong pagod na pagod ka na."

When he left me with those words, the door slammed open and entered a woman with tears flowing down her cheeks. With her was the lady I love, my brother who's tearing up and my friend holding my handwritten note.

"Anak. Please, balik ka na sa bahay. Wag ganito! Anak!" I heard my mother sob, shout and plead me to stay but she's too late. "Mama is proud of you. Mama is very proud of you. Mama loves you. Please anak."

Ma, your words are said too late for my ears to hear, my brain to process and my heart to beat.

"Gago ka." napangiti ako sa pagmumura ng kaibigan ko. "Napakagago mo Cian."

I looked up before looking at them one last time.

"Babe naman..." I saw a tear drop from her eyes. I wanted to dry those tears but I just cant. "Sabi mo hindi mo kaya kapag wala ako! Babe paano naman ako!"

I wanted to hug her but something urged me to not come any closer. Bakit pa ako lalapit kung aalis din naman ako? I'm sorry for entering your life just to be a burden.

Please don't cry as you lower down my coffin. I cried enough but none of you came, your tears won't bring me back.

[🖤]