Stay

Chapter 12

"Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you."

Riley's POV

I wake up on a strange couch, wrapped up in a warm, fuzzy blanket. And then all the memories come flooding back, the fight with Emma, driving here to Jon's place, breaking down, and him comforting me. I guess I must've fell asleep. I check my phone to see the time, and it's only 7:30. But I now have 20 missed calls and 50 text messages all from Patrick.

"Ugh." I sigh

All of a sudden I see Jon come in holding a mug

"Hey I thought you might like some hot chocolate?"

"I'd loved some, thanks!" I say with a small smile, taking the mug from his hands

I take sip before putting it on the coffee table, while Jon takes a seat next to me

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I don't even know where to start."

"Start with whatever makes you comfortable." He tells me with a small smile

"Alright I guess that would be at the beginning."

I take one more sip before continuing with

"Ok so there's a little bit more to my family then you know. It's something I tried to forget about but I come to realize I just can't any more. So here it goes." I say, taking a deep breathe in

"First off you should know that I had a brother, his name was Chase. Him and I were really close, we might've been 6 years apart but let me tell you, we had a really close bond, that nothing could tear us apart, or so I thought. He died when I was 14.

I take another deep breathe before continuing

"Anyway right before my mom left, my dad had just lost his job, and it just so happens to be around the same time I had just started playing hockey, and you of all people know how expensive it can be. So a few months went by and my dad still had no job, by that time we were just getting by. Although my dad was able to pick up a few shifts at a local rink, but it wasn't much, so my mom got fed up with it and left. Just packed her bags and left, didn't even say goodbye. She left my dad who had no job, and no money, to raise three kids on his own. But we manage, I guess. About a month later my dad manged to find a job as a gym teacher in a near by school, along with that he also coached Chase and I hockey on the side. So I guess you could say that things started to look up for them at least not so much for me. You see after my mom left my sister took an uninterested me. What I mean is that Emma, my sister blamed me at fault for our mother leaving. I can't say I blame her, she's right if I never did play hockey, then we would of had the money, and she might still be here with us. What Emma doesn't know that I begged my dad to let me quit hockey, not because I wanted to, but because of the money issues. But my dad saw why I wanted to quit and didn't let me. He told he would make it work, even if that meant finding the crappiest job that there was. So from that forward she didn't care for me, she ignored me when Chase and my dad were around, but when it was just the two of us that's when i guess you kind say she would verbally abuse me. I usually ignored her, but sometimes it got to a point, where I just couldn't anymore, so between her and school, everything just became so overwhelming, so I started to cut. I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but I just felt so alone, and I didn't know what else to do. So about a few months later, Chase walked in on me, and saw what I was doing. He didn't yell or scream, he simply just told me to put the blade down, and talk to him, and so I did. He ended up convincing me to tell dad, I only agreed, if he promised that I wouldn't be sent to therapy. And so he kept is promise. Chase and my dad talked and they agreed that Chase would be my therapist, and whenever I felt the need to cut, I would go to him, and we would just talk it out instead. At first I wasn't so sure but as the days went on, I would find myself in Chase's room at 2 in the morning. We would talk for hours. He would talk about the random est things, if it meant getting my mind off of everything else that was going on. Chase was truly a great brother, I couldn't of asked for a better one." I say as my voice cracks

"Riley you don't have to go on, if you don't want to. I understand." Jon tells me rubbing my back

"No.. You deserve to know."

I take a deep breathe before continuing

"Thanks to Chase I was 2 years clean, that was until one day of course. I has just started high school, and you know how tough it can be, well I was doing alright, until the one day something just snap. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I found my 'boyfriend' the guy who I liked since the sixth grade making out, with my 'best friend' who I was friends with since kindergarten, so that really put a damper in my day. Not to mention my sister was still making my life hell, as usual. So when I got home, I just broke. I wanted to end the pain, so I grab my blade and started to cut a little to deep.I had thought no one was home, that was until my dad had found me bleeding heavily on the ground, unconscious. I remember waking up in the hospital, and seeing my dad and Emma crying. Not because of me, but of Chase. On his way to hospital, he was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. After that my sister wouldn't even speak to me, I didn't blame though, I didn't want to talk to me either. She was graduating that year any way, so after graduation she packed her bags and left, moved to California, and I haven't seen her since today, actually. After Chase passed I quit hockey, I just felt that there was no need to play on, if he was gone. I know my dad didn't want me to quit, but he understood why I did. I felt as if my world was crumbling down. I realized that day that as much as I wanted to end the pain, I couldn't leave my dad, he already had no wife, and he had just lost his only son, I couldn't let him lose a daughter too. So I sucked it up, and went to therapy for him. It helped but it was nothing compared to how Chased helped me. And so I made it through high school, alright, and was accepted to the University of Calgary. Life was going good. That was until my Junior year in college, where my dad got really sick. He ended up being diagnosed with stage 4 Leukemia. I tried to take care of him the best I could do, while trying to balance school. I wanted to take a year off from school, so I could focus on him, but my dad didn't want that, he wanted me to focus on my future, so I did. My dad had gotten sick as time went on, and so he needed better treatments, since the ones he was getting weren't working so great. So the best bet was to send him to Chicago to get the treatment he needed, and along side that he was near Patrick and Abby so it wasn't like he was completely alone. About a year later I manage to graduate college, so from there I moved to Chicago and here I am. Now this where today comes in place, so after I got home today, I walked in on a very unexpected surprise. Emma, you know my sister well she was there and she said some things like how it's my fault our mom left and how Chase's death is my fault, and how I only used to cut for attention. At first I just ignored it but as she kept spatting words at me, all the memories came back to me and I just couldn't take it, no longer." I say as my eyes start to water

"Riley your mom's abidance's and your brother's death aren't your fault. Don't listen to what Emma tells you. Like you said she doesn't know what you've been through and has no clue what you've done for you father. You should hear what Patrick has to say about you, he told us that you've been through a lot, and how your one of the strongest people he's ever known. And from the very first day I met you, I knew exactly what he was talking about." Jon tells me with a small smile, as he wipes away a few of my tears.

After my sister left, I started to realize how stupid I was to believe her crap. I never really realized how independent I was, when I didn't have her negative comments, being thrown my way. Once she left I began to turn my life around, I no longer took any one's crap, I had more confidence in myself then I ever did, and you know what I actually started to enjoy life.

*~*

I woken by Jon carry be bridal style to his bed, he tucks me in, before pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. Just as he's about to leave, I grab his arm and say

"Stay."

He turns around and smiles

"Someone finally stayed"

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Sorry for the long wait this chapter took me a little bit longer to write then I thought it would, but I hope you like it! Tell me what you think!

I probably won't update before Christmas but I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Enjoy!(: