Sin For Me (bxb)

Symphony~

Thomas

The sunlight poured through the window panes of the greenhouse, patterns of fractured light spilling across the cement floor. I found myself next to a dying calla lily. It's petals were wilted, browned, the vine drooped. I pulled the pot out to a sunnier spot, where it could get the light it needs. The heat from the summer sun mixed with the sweltering stagnant air of the greenhouse made me sweat so much my shirt stuck to me. I felt like the flower, wilted.

"Hey," called a familiar voice from behind me. I spun to meet the dark eyes of Damian, his hair now long enough to sway in front of his eyes.

"Hello," I replied, standing up from my crouch and wiping of the soil.

"Wanna talk?"

"Not really."

"Well, do you need any help in here?" He asked, stretching out his arms.

I shrugged and motioned towards the towering Ivy plant that needed to be rewrapped around the climbing sticks. He began, his long fingers twirling the vines around the wooden frame.

I averted my eyes, instead focusing on the weeds of the pea plant. I dug my fingers into the soil to find the roots of a particularly stubborn weed, one that wouldn't allow itself to give. I kept pulling but the thing was stuck.

"Here, let me help you," Damian said, appearing next to me.

"No, Ive got it."

"Here- just let me-"

"I said I've got it!" I shouted, pushing him away.

"I'm just trying to help you!" He said pushing me back.

I glared, "I dont need your help! All you do is mess things up!"

"You werent saying that when you were begging me to fuck you!" He spat back.

I tackled him to the ground, I saw nothing but red, throwing a fist wherever I could reach. He threw me back and got on top, knocking me into the ground causing the air to go out of my chest.

I jabbed up, hitting him square in the nose. He fell back and I jumped back on him, grabbing his arms and holding him down as he struggled, but I didnt let up.

"You bitch! Get off of me!" He screamed.

"You ruined everything! I was happy before you came here!"

He threw up his elbow and hit me in the jaw, sending me off of him. His knee rammed into my stomach, making me buckle over. I heaved and dropped down. He wrestled me down under him, holding me back.

"Sorry dickhead, I didnt choose to come here, and believe me if it was up to me, Id leave here in a second!"

The tears welled in my eyes, a lump rose in my throat. I headbutted him, pulling myself back up.

"Then go! No one wants you here! You dont want this place, and its rules, then leave!"

"Maybe I will!"

I threw another punch but he blocked it and pressed me against the wall so that my head knocked back on the glass. The shards of the pots we broke stabbed into my feet making blood bloom on the ground. I pulled away and slammed us both back on the ground. My breath was gone as I crawled back from him, trying to get air back in my lungs. He grabbed my leg and pulled me back, throwing a fist wherever he could reach.

I did the same, squaring him in his upper lip making a cut that bled down onto his chin. He wiped it away and the rage filled his eyes, wrestling me across the floor until we stared at eachother, me struggling underneath him.

"You dont mean it!" he yelled through tears, "tell me you dont mean it!"

"You just want to have sex with me and throw me away, why would I want you here!"

"I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!"

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed, kicking him off of me.

I regretted it the second the words left my lips.

His shook his head, grabbing my collar. I cringed my face waiting for a punch, but instead I felt his lips on mine, pressing against mine with desperation.

Something took over me, and I grabbed him closer, pulling his body on top of me. The cut on his lip swelled, making kissing me hurt him, but he did anyways, sobbing into the kiss. I gave everything I had, every part of me in an awful harmony with his that played a symphony of feelings in my chest. Lust, desire, need, all swirling with pain and anger, all topped off with the beginnings of love fluttering across my body like a chill.

His hands cupped my face, pulling me back to stare into my eyes, his filled with hurt.

Everything was halted by the flood of regret that filled me. I pulled him back, hoping my kiss would convince him of what I couldnt say.

I didnt mean it

I care about you

I want you here

I want you.

All screamed by the silent movement of my lips against his.

A/N

How are you guys liking the story so far? This is a project ive had in my drafts for forever, but im finally writing it. I like it because its so out of what I know, as a total heathen who doesnt even go to church. Its fun researching terms like alb. But i really am enjoying writing this, which is surprising because i usually write something and then only continue it because people expect me to because otherwise im disappointing them. Ion know, see yall in therapy.