I Can't Help Falling in Love With You

Season 1: Episode 4- Alec

I have never been to a downworld rave before. Izzy has tried countless times to make me come with her, but really, I don't like parties. I notice my surroundings. It's not much different than I thought. It's unbelievably loud. I can actually feel the music inside me. Not to mention that everyone's acting insane. There's a couple making out against every wall, no one seems to care. The whole place is stuffy and overheated. This is all giving me a migraine, but I try to stay focused. My job is clear, I'm supposed to watch for any circle members from a distance. I spot Jace, Clary and Izzy. It looks like they've found the warlock. They should be making the necklace exchange now. I can't focus on what he looks like, there must be some drug in the air. This is so stupid. We don't even know if we can trust Clary, she just walked off the street, and she's Valentine's daughter. But Jace thinks this is a good idea, and I'm not going to let him get killed at some downworlder rave. My mind drifts back to Jace. What's wrong with me? I still do everything he wants, I still blush when he touches me, and I still sob in bed in the middle of the night when I remember nothing can happen. Feelings ruin everything. I know that no one I want will ever want me back, at least not in the same way. I know this, but all these stupid feelings apparently don't care. I swallow down some tears. Whatever these downworld drugs are, they're making me too emotional. I shake it off, and try to focus on the room. I can't. I can't focus on any of this! I look down over the sea of multicolored neon lights and shut my eyes tightly and try again. Everything is going so fast in my mind. I have to leave. I breathe and try to focus on them again. They're still talking to the warlock. He's making all these dramatic gestures, using his whole body to communicate. I laugh a little at this. I'm feeling really weird. Izzy is never convincing me to come to one of these ever again. The warlock becomes more serious. He stops gesturing. I furrow my eyebrows. What are they talking about? He makes a portal. Are they ditching me? Then I spot him. A man is sneaking up behind them, he has a weapon, and he's eyeing the warlock, pressed against a wall.  A circle member. They found him. I raise my bow and shoot right into his chest. I leap off the platform, feeling the rush of wind before jogging over to the group to make sure he's dead. Blood floods from the arrow wound, his eyes are still. A carved circle stands out on his neck. I was right.  "Who are you?" A voice purrs from behind me. I don't have time for this. I can't focus here! I don't respond and the warlock starts to walk through the portal. Clary shouts something. The portal spins closed. I huff. Now he has the necklace and we didn't get him to help us. We'll have to track him. At least we can leave now.

Jace and I use our parapati rune to track him to what looks like an abandoned warehouse, it's probably just a veil. We walk down an alley leading up to it, flickering neon lights line the city sidewalk. Something's wrong, we shouldn't be able to get this close. Clary's asking stupid questions again. "You" I point at her. "Don't get in the way." I'm not letting her ruin our one chance at talking to the warlock. I walk closer and push open the door. Weird. It's not locked. I hear Jace pull his blade out, and Izzy her whip. We slowly step inside. The lights are dimmed in the main room, but we can still generally make out the surroundings. Some poor child is laying on the floor next to what seems to be her father, crying. My head shoots up to see the warlock fighting two circle members. They got to him first. Shit. Jace and Izzy rush forward to help him. I start, but then my eyes fall on the warlock. I catch my breath. I can't look away. His hair is piled effortlessly on top of his head, it looks so smooth. His face is contorted with concentration, brows furrowed over. His eyes are surrounded by a million colors, all sparkling, and outlined with dark strokes. His deep blue suit is simply elegant. I shake my head, curse myself for these thoughts and jog over to help him. I know I'm not supposed to think this way about other men. My father has told me countless times it's unholy and goes against our duty as shadowhunters, but I can't help it. I can't help who I love. It's just another torment in my life. I snap my focus back, Izzy and Jace are handling one of the circle members, the other has lured the warlock into a separate room. I rush over to his side to help him. The room is alight with his power. It pours from his hands and he approaches the circle member.
"Your magic's strong, warlock. Much stronger than that horned weakling I killed this morning." The member grins. I see the warlock's jaw clench.
"Elias?" He snarls. I feel bad for him, that must have been a friend. I look away. It looks like he's got this covered, but I take out my bow just in case.
"That was his name. Well, lucky for us, he sold you out before I took his warlock mark. Cat's eyes. Be a nice addition to my collection." The circle member grins even wider. The sick bastard. I let my arrow loose but it only pieces his leg. He groans and falls to the floor. The warlock quickly blasts him with magic and stares daggers at him, disgust lines his face.
"Well done." I say. He continues to stare at him. I feel like I should say something else but don't know what.
"More like medium-rare." I can't help but smile a little at this. He looks up at me, eyes now twinkling. "I'm Magnus. I don't think we've been formally introduced." He quickly looks me up and down. I feel myself blush. I breathe and try to think of something, anything, to say.
"Oh, uh... We should really... You know, probably get..." I try to gesture, turning my face down to cover my blush. I curse myself again. He probably saw. Magnus smiles, he probably thinks me stumbling over my own words is funny. What's gotten into me?
"Right, we should join the party." I bring my face up to look at him. Quickly trying to delete any emotion from my expression before he sees anything further. I tear my eyes away.
"Right." I turn and leave the room.