I Can't Help Falling in Love With You

Season 1: Episode 9 (part 2) Magnus

I pace across the halls of the institute leading up to the main room. Shadowhunter business again. I really only ever agree to it so I have more of a chance with Alec. I know how he feels about me. I just have to give him a little nudge.
"Magnus." Izzy exclaims as soon as I'm in sight. Her eyebrows, furrowed in exhaustion. She quickly walks up to me, grabs my elbow and pulls me back to an equally tired Jace. I glance around for Alec. No where around. Oh well. I guess I'll be doing professional business only.
"How may I be of service?" I sigh with a wave of my hand and a slight roll to my eyes. Jace crosses his arms and glances around before speaking.
"We need you to do something for us. Now we understand this might make you uncomfortable, but you're really the only one who could do it." He sighs and looks down. Izzy crosses her arms and looks stern as well. "We need you to retrieve Alec's stele for us so that we can use it to unlock the case that has the mortal cup in it." I scoff. Really they call me over for the simplest things that even a child could do. But no, they need one extremely overworked warlock to waltz over and use his precious time for their little games.
"And why, may I ask, can you not just ask Alec to open it?" I stare them down. I came here for Alec and now that I see he will not be here, I really would rather just leave. Izzy looks even more tired at this.
"Because, we don't really want Alec to know that we're opening it. If you could just portal it from his room when he thinks he's alone to where we are, we can quickly use it to unlock the case then you could portal it back." They both look hopefully at me. So they want me to steal from the one person who I'm trying to get to like and trust me. Well great. There's no way I'm doing this.
"Look. I don't want to ruin all the trust that I've tried to instil in Alec. He's not going to be happy and I personally don't want to do anything to cause him that." Really this idea is ludicrous.
"And neither do we." Jace says. I roll my eyes again.
"Let me get this straight. You need Alec's stele to open the safe, and you want me to steal it from him?" I repeat, hoping they will see the fault in their plan.
"We prefer the word "borrow"." Jace frowns.
"Without his knowledge." Izzy adds. My expression falls. How do they expect me to do this.
"No. No can do. Not happening." I might just turn and leave now. It would save future stress. Jace quickly speaks up.
"Magnus, ever since Alec found out our parents were in the Circle, he's been messed up. He can't see the big picture." I guess I have been noticing he's been acting a little strange in the last week. I just thought it was shadowhunter stress.
"If the Clave is willing to subject Meliorn to the Silent Brothers, if they're willing to go this far, what do you think will happen if they get the Cup? This affects everyone." Izzy pleads with me. This too is true. I hate these decisions.
"Help us get into that safe. Help us stop this." Jace uses his best inspiration tone, straightening his posture. It doesn't work. I feel like rolling my eyes again, but I think they get the point. I sigh. The downworld is my world. If doing this one thing will protect it, I have no choice. I just really hope I still have a chance with Alec. He's done something to me. It's been literal centuries since I've felt my heart flutter around another person. I really really don't want to risk losing that. I wish they could find some other warlock. I stare daggers at them, making it as clear as I can that I do not want to do this but they gave me no choice.
"You're both going to owe me. I'm talking 14th century. Gold, rubies... definitely diamonds." I can't let them think I work for free. "And Alec can never know." This last part I really try to emphasize.
"That's a given." Jace nods in all serious.
"If we're going to do this, there's no turning back." They nod in agreement. I let out a puff of air. Stubborn shadowhunters. "Where is he?" I ask. I'm getting this over with as soon as I can.
"He'll be in his room." Izzy leads me there. I follow her quickly and stop as she stops in front of an old wooden double door. I cross my arms in thought. What would be the best way to do this. Well I know the only way. I have to cast a transparency spell and, like Jace and Izzy said, portal it to them. I really hate the idea of that transparency spell. It's a complete violation of his trust, he thinks no one can see him in there. I clench my teeth and pull my arms in tighter. Izzy puts her hand on my arm. She looks up to make eye contact.
"Thank you Magnus. This really is for the best, Alec will see that. But if we can help it, he won't find out." She tries to reassure me.
"I know. I just really don't want to push him away before I even get to really know him."
"I know. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. You better get to work." She gently squeezes my arm and walks down the hall. Thank god for the sound proof rune, it would have been disastrous if he had heard any of that. I take a deep breath and cast the spell. A section of the door shimmers blue and then becomes clear. A makeshift window. I peer in. The room is darkish and bare, but no less cozy. A small fire flickers in the fireplace in the corner. I try to see as little as I can, no need to invade his privacy any more than I already need to. Seeing as the room is small, I quickly find Alec. He leans against his desk, shirtless. I clear my throat and look away as I feel heat rise to my face. No matter how tempting it is to look back up and goggle over his chest and abs, I'm here for one thing. I quickly glance back up, avoiding looking at his shirtless self and locate his stele peeking out of the front pocket of his jacket that lays folded on his bag. Perfect. I snap my fingers and it vanishes. I look back at Alec to see if he noticed anything, the heat immediately rising to my face again. Come on Magnus, get yourself under control. He's tending to his wound. I see him peel off the bandage, sucking in breath as his raw skin sticks to it. It does hurt then. I wish he would let me help him. He wraps a new bandage over it. Quickly, but carefully. He reaches down for his shirt and buttons it up with equal speed. Come on Jace. My phone vibrates, I pull it out seeing a single text. "Done." It says. I snap my fingers and the stele appears again in the front pocket of his jacket. Perfect timing. I see Alec start pacing towards the door. I quickly seal the transparency spell. Wait, what do I tell him? Why would I be standing outside his door? Oh shit I didn't think this through. No time to run. I see the doorknob start to turn. In a mess of thought, somehow my mind gives up and before I know it, I've thrown myself towards the door in an attempt to keep it shut. I push my hands against it's right side. Maybe he'll try to open it, give up, and go back to his room so I can run! The left door swings open and there stands Alec. As composed as ever. He startles when he sees me, his expression quickly turning to suspicion. We make eye contact. He can see the panic in my eyes. He cocks an eyebrow. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. I forget for a moment that I'm pushing against his bedroom door. No wonder he looks suspicious. Wait, why would I even be at the institute? I don't even have an excuse for that! Wait, the wards, that's why! I turn my attention to the door and move my hands around, shaking it slightly. I give a satisfied nod and turn back to him. By now he has crossed his arms in expectancy, his eyebrow arching even higher.
"All done for today. Place is secure. Not bad for a day's work. I thought I'd see how you were doing." Please let him believe this. It's the worst acting but please let him believe it. He relaxes immediately, eyebrows evening out. Relief washes over me. Maybe I'm a better actor than I thought. He starts to walk away but quickly turns towards me. He seems to ponder something for a second. Then clears his throat a little.
"I meant to thank you for your advice. The whole "follow your heart" thing." YESS!!! My mind screams. My whole self erupts in triumph. He's going to ask me to date him! He's probably going to kiss me!!! It takes all my strength to keep a straight face. I can't help but chuckle a bit.
"Oh, well, what can I say? I have a deep understanding of the human psyche. At least, that's what Freud always said." I feel all giddy. I haven't felt this way in ages! He opens his mouth and closes it again. Then opens it and speaks.
"I'm getting married." A rush of something warm and tingly flows through my body. The feelings this man makes me feel!
"Whoa! That's a tad sudden, isn't it? I mean, we should at least go to dinner first." I grin widely.
"No, Magnus, family is everything to me. You have to know that." This is a strange thing to say, but I understand.
"I get it. You're part of a "Don't ask, don't tell" culture. I'm fine with it. You're a traditional guy." I nod knowingly with the last statement trying to reassure him that I'm fine with whatever his priorities are, I'm not needy. He quickly tenses, then sighs, and makes eye contact with me. My heart practically blooms.
"Yeah, I am. That's why I proposed to Lydia." My flower of a heart suddenly cringes in and wilts. What did he just say? Lydia? I'm thoroughly confused now. Everything just flipped. Maybe I heard wrong. No, no, I never hear wrong. He said Lydia. He said he proposed to Lydia. I cast my eyes down. But Lydia is a woman. Alec is... I can't be wrong about this right? No, no, I'm never wrong. I thought he liked me. Everything told me he did. He has all the signs of liking me. Liking me in that way. The way in like him. I know how he feels about me. Then why...
"That's interesting." I say this mostly to myself.
"It makes sense." He says. He's trying to convince himself. I hear the doubt in his tone. "It's a solid partnership. For both of us." I can't help but scoff at that. He's really trying to convince himself. I bring my eyes up to meet his. I see so many emotions in them.
""Solid partnership"." I repeat. A dry laugh forms in my stomach and reaches my mouth. This is so unfair. So...so...idiotic. So stupid. So insensitive. How... why?! Why would he do this?! To himself?! To her?! To me?! Rage fills me suddenly. The feelings this man makes me feel. I laugh more at this. He looks so unsure now. His composure is slipping. "That's hot!" I say, my time emphasizes the last word. I fill it with my emotions. Well if he can't see, he can't see. "Well, okay, then. Congratulations. Marriage is a wonderful institution. Not that I would know. Goodbye, Alexander." I start to walk away. He just looks down. He didn't even try to stop me. I walk faster. Then rip open a portal and speed through into my apartment, collapsing on a chair. I rub my forehead. Solid partnership. I let out one dry laugh. I snap my fingers and down the drink that lands in my hand. Can't he even see? Can't he see anything. I sigh and try to figure out why he's doing this to himself.