I Can't Help Falling in Love With You

Season 1: Episode 8 (part 3) Magnus

I cross into the training room as I leave the institute. I stop suddenly. There's Alec, shirtless, beating a punching bag, sweat glistening on his muscles. They clench and unclench as he attacks. I'm speechless for a few good minutes, unable to tear my eyes from his bare chest. I think my jaw actually dropped though honestly I don't care. "Magnus." I hear him say. I quickly shake it off and look up at him. He's stopped punching the bag now. He's staring at me with those beautiful crystal eyes again. And again I'm speechless for a moment or two. Really, what this guy does to me. I can't remember the last time someone rendered me speechless. I have a hard time looking away, but eventually I meet his eyes and smile. I don't want to make him uncomfortable.
"Okay, I'm back." I gesture. Alec is not smiling. He starts to lean over to the bench and grab his vest. "Oh, you don't have to get dressed up for me." He puts it on anyway. "Fine. But I liked what I saw." I mumble that last part. He rolls his eyes slightly. "I have the preliminary autopsy findings." I reach the report over and he takes it, looking confused.
"Why are you giving these to me? They should go to the head of the Institute."
"And it is." He's so professional, it's got to be him, but apparently not. He swallows and glances around the room nervously.
"I'm not. And I never will be. Magnus, it's like... it's like my whole life... has been a lie. Now everything I've ever known is..." He trails off. Poor shadowhunter. If only he would let me help him.
"It's not what you thought." I try to show him I understand. I don't. Somewhere in my life I did. I never had to worry about losing my family for who I am. From the moment I was born, they already hated the sight of me and left before I could disappoint them. But I can't imagine how hard it would feel to love them, then lose them for something you can't help. As for the confusion, I had that but it was so long ago I don't remember.

"I've done everything for my parents... for the Clave and... I've done everything that they've asked." He looks up at me. His eyes hold this intensity. This anger, confusion, torment that's tearing apart everything he knew. Everything he trusted in. My expression softens. He looks so hurt. So conflicted. I smile sadly.
"Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what's in your heart." I maintain eye contact. I try to push all the care I can offer now and for the future that he can choose into this phrase. Look at me. I'm already picturing a future with him. Realization dawns across his face. He looks down, his eyes darting around. He's starting to put everything together. I can't help but smile warmly. All he needed was a little guidance. Just one sentence to give him the answer.
"I can't believe I'm saying this. I think you're right." Alec looks so flustered as he looks up at me, wide eyed. I smile again. A feeling quickly spreads like wildfire across my chest when he makes eye contact again. His whole form encompasses wonder and possibility. I feel myself melt into his hope. A new warmth I have never felt fills my whole being. Someone walks around us and I'm snapped back into reality.
"I really have to go." I say. I actually do, but I also see that he needs time alone to think. He waves and I rush out, not wanting to risk getting any further trapped in his image. There's a slight skip to my step, a new adrenaline just from staring into his eyes.