The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

So Nice, So Smart (14)

Izuku stopped at the doors in front of the school. Heart beating fast, he started to rethink it.
He couldn't just tell him, he wasn't even sure what to say.
And he was still dealing with Katsuki.
He walked back inside, hugging himself for warmth.

He reached for his phone from his pocket, dialing Eijirou's number with hesitation. It rang for a while, giving Izuku time to get nervous. "H-Hey!" He squeaked once Eijirou picked up. "Hey, uh, Izuku." He sounded sad, or disappointed. And part of him knew he didn't want to hear his voice.

"Where are you? Can I talk to you?" "I'm.." Izuku tapped his foot in anticipation, holding his phone with shaking hands, "I'm leaving for a while." Izuku's heart started to beat fast. "Where?" "My friend's house. I won't be back for a week or two. What'd you want?" Izuku stayed silent, brows furrowed while he bit his bottom lip.

"I have to tell you in person." "Can it wait then?" Eijirou sighed, he wanted to hang up already. "No! I have to tell you something to your face." His stomach twisted, he didn't know what he was getting himself into.
"So what? You want me to turn around, right now? You want me to come back just because you want to say one thing." Eijirou's voice started to break, he was almost shouting.

Izuku stayed silent, wide eyed and trying not to panic, "I'm not obligated to do anything for you, I don't need to make you feel better. I don't need to do everything you want, I'm not coming." "H-How long have you been holding onto that?" Izuku started to tear up, Eijirou sounded so offended. "Don't call me." He hung up, wiping away his tears afterwards.

Eijirou was in the car with his friend, they stayed quiet the entire time. But they still wondered what he had to go through to snap like that, when he was always such a nice person.
"I wish I never had to go back." He whispered under his breath.

Izuku wanted to throw his phone while he started to rethink what Eijirou said. It was unexpected for him to snap, but he didn't blame him. Izuku was ignorant before, he didn't even give Eijirou's feelings a second thought.

He didn't think about him when he started to date Bakugou, or when he pushed down any feelings he had, when he did as little as think about somebody that wasn't him.
Izuku started to sob, trying to hide it and stop. "I'm such a bad person.." He whispered to himself, covering his face with his hands. "Maybe I should just give up and forget about it.." That seemed so much worse.

Not trying for somebody that loved him was so much worse than what he'd done before. Forgetting about it would ruin their relationship, they wouldn't even be friends again.
He wouldn't smile at him in the morning, he wouldn't listen to him when he needed to talk, he wouldn't think about him. He'd never love him again, and Izuku may not have known what he felt, but all he wanted to do was be around him. To be with him, because no matter how well he treated him, or if he was still angry, he loved him.

Izuku wiped his tears, trying to hide his face when he walked back up the stairs.
He was still trying to collect his thoughts, but all he could think about was what he'd done and how much it probably hurt. He felt so guilty, so disgusting. He couldn't handle all the feelings at once.

Bakugou was waiting in the hallway, leaned against Izuku's locker. He lifted his head when he saw him slowly walking towards it, his eyes dead and face pink. He didn't say anything, "What the fuck happened to you?" he crossed his arms. He tilted his head trying to see his face, "Were you crying?" Izuku shook his head, trying to get to his locker. "I gotta go home." "Why?" "I need a break."
"A break from what?" Bakugou held his locker closed.

"Do you care?" Bakugou didn't reply, trying to figure out why he was acting like that. "Please, move. I need to go home.." "Why won't you tell me?" "Since when do you wanna know?!" He shouted, trying to grab his hand to move it. "The hell is wrong with you today?" Izuku put his head down, "Just move, please." he gritted his teeth, Bakugou slowly moved his hand.
"Is it because your friend didn't show up?" Izuku didn't flinch, opening his locker.

"It is?" Still, nothing. "Am I getting through to you?" "We don't even talk about anything, since when do you want to know about me?" Izuku didn't know if he meant it, he just didn't want to deal with him. It was the worst possible time for him to talk to him, he just made him feel worse in these situations.
He still loved him, of course, he just felt strange talking about how he felt with him.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you don't have to be so rude. You're fine on other days.. is it seriously because of your friend?" "Why did we get back together?" Izuku whispered, Bakugou just looked shocked, he didn't even open his mouth to reply. Izuku put on his jacket, shooting him an angry glance before walking away.

He wasn't even happy with him anymore, not like he ever used to be. And he felt so stupid believing that it'd be the same as it once was, because he left him so easily.. and it didn't take an effort for him to get him back. He didn't get nervous like Eijirou did, he didn't ever think about him before anything, he barely tried.

Izuku sighed, walking back home while thoughts about Eijirou rushed through his head. He felt so guilty, so incomplete, and he knew he had to do something to make it right soon.