The Scent Of Insanity [KiriDeku] (Vol.1)

Spring and Autumn (18)

"It doesn't change anything." He half smiled, "I'm not saying that.. you're not pretty, or that I don't feel the same way." He swiped his hair behind his ear, he couldn't even force himself to look at his face. "But I don't want to be hurt anymore, I hope you understand that." He fixed his scarf, sniffling and smiling at him. 
"I love you too." 

Izuku stood wide eyed and silent, not knowing whether to cry, chase after him, or go home. He just stood there as it went completely silent, cars in the distance, even the wind, couldn't be a distraction. He wanted to hate him, to win him back, to run away, all at once. 
The sun was setting behind him, as he hugged himself, his shoulders tensing.

But he felt like he couldn't hate him, there was nobody else that could ever be like he was. He was beautiful, he was nice, he put others before him, "And he loved somebody like me." quiet sobs and his ears ringing were the only thing Izuku could hear. 

Eijirou was walking to the bus stop, staring at the seat as he stood there in the snow. He took a deep breath, his cheeks were pink and his eyes puffy. He couldn't cry, as much as he wanted to. He thought that he felt better. Because they ruined their chances, he couldn't be hurt anymore than he had been. 

Maybe he was being selfish, Izuku didn't know what he was doing. He would come to terms with it, that starting from now, they were nothing. They weren't friends, they weren't lovers, only classmates. As beautiful as Izuku was to him, and that he might always think of him, he was just a classmate. 

He smiled even wider thinking about it, but then he wondered if that was what he really wanted. When he was gone, it was his plan. He talked and thought about it for hours, he fantasized about the exact moment that it would all be over.  
Even if they could've figured it out, they could've been in love. The dates, the smiles, the walks and the compliments. The music that reminded them of each other, it could have been perfect. 

But Eijirou already counted his freckles, he already listened to the music, he already went on the dates he thought they were, he already thought of so many compliments. And Izuku wasn't like that, he saw it happen. He just hated his partner, he hardly thought of anybody. He claimed to love somebody else as an excuse. 

That's what he thought of him. 
Izuku was just a boy, and if he'd seen it sooner, they could be friends. He would've gotten over him, he could be talking so nicely with him, he could be spending time with him, like they used to. But something about his smile, and the way he was a challenge that seemed so worth it. It destroyed him. 

Eijirou took a deep breath, knowing that he'd cry when he got home. But that's how it worked, that's how he got over it. He'd go through it, and Izuku would only be somebody he once loved. And he hoped that Izuku would be okay too, that he'd find somebody else to help him, and that he'd get over him too. 

Eijirou got onto the bus that pulled up in front of him, sitting down on the warm seats and putting earbuds in. The window was foggy, so he stared at the seat in front of him. Closing his eyes, and sighing with relief. 

Afterwards, the sun melted all the snow. The flowers and grass started to grow, the school year ended in what felt like days, and the summer went by too. It was normal. Eijirou picked up new hobbies, and he saw more movies with his friends, going to parks and carnivals where, for the first time in a while, he could smile. 

Izuku went on a road trip with his mom, where he'd meet new people as well as spend moments alone. He hated how he once was, as he started to grow up. He'd be okay, just like Eijirou. 

Izuku still had a few things he wanted to say, but he got over it, he'd already repeated it about a million times in his head. It didn't hurt as much anymore, only when he thought about it. When somebody would say something, or if he heard a name like his. He didn't like to be reminded of him, but he never could bring himself to hate him.

So when the summer ended, and their lives were full of new distractions, they forgot about each other. They'd bury themselves in sweaters, and the comforts of new friends when the leaves started to fall. They'd start school again, and they'd focus on the work, and their plans for the future. 

They were both fine without each other, happy, even.