My Twisted Happily Ever After ✅

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"What?" I asked dumbly. Nagkibit balikat naman silang lahat. "I kind of agree to her suggestion. You need it," ani AJ. Umiling ako, "No. It's like I'm being a coward and running away. Di ako duwag, guys. I'll face this problem without running away." seryosong saad ko.

"Ouch ha? Ibig sabihin duwag pala ako dahil umalis ako nung nagkaproblema kami ni Miguel?" pabirong saad ni Cams at umaktong masakit ang dibdib. Napailing nalang ako, "Ganun na nga."

"Aba't tong babaeng to!"

"It's not cowardice. You're only human--" singit ni Nicole na sinabatan naman agad ni Tin ng pakanta, "And you bleed and you fall down~"

"--I'm serious!" frustrated na saad ng isa. Natawa naman kami sa kanila. Expect them to make you laugh despite of the worse things. Napailing nalang ako at hinarap si Cams, "Remember years ago? When you thought Francis was leaving?" namula naman ang mukha niya at umirap, "Shut up! Shut up! Nakakahiya yon, so shut up!" natawa ulit kami sa kanya. That was epic. I mean ang gusto lang naming itanong is kung bakit nagmamadali siya e mamaya pa ang flight ni Francis at umiihi lanbg siya. Ang gaga naman e nag walk out. Nakakatawa lang yung pakiramdam na mas magaan lang yung naging problema nila kesa sa nangyari sa akin. But then again, no problem is easy. Siguro malas lang ako sa love life. Yeah? Whatever. 

"Open pa yung offer mo? I'll accept it," ani ko kalaunan. Ngumiti naman si Cams. Understanding crossed her eyes. Humiga ako sa kama at ipinikit ang mga mata ko, "I think I do need a break. I didn't deserve this!" natatawang saad ko habang nakapikit. 

Nagtaka naman ako kung bakit hindi sila sumagot kaya umupo ako at tiningnan sila only to freeze when I saw whose at my doorstep. I stood up, "What are you doing here?" natahimik naman ang mga babae at nakatingin lang sa aming dalawa. Maya maya ay tumayo si Jensen at sumenyas na magsilabasan na sila. Nang makaalis sila ay naiwan lang kami ni EJ sa kwarto. 

"What? Pati itong bahay gusto mo na ding alisin sa akin?" tanong ko habang nagtatagis ang bagang. Hindi dahil sa galit kundi para pigilan ang luha ko. I clenched my fist ang glared at him, "Well, mag-antay ka at aalis na ako. Tutal wala na namang nagkokonekta sa'tin right?" Kumunot ang noo niya bago bumalik sa neutral na ekspresyon nito. 

"Can we talk?" tanging saad niya pagkatapos kong magsalita. Tinitigan ko siya bago kumuha ng damit sa closet pumasok sa built in bathroom ng kwartong ito. I took a short shower, the shortest one I've ever take in my whole life. Pagkatapos ay ginawa ko na ang iba pang seremonyas na hindi na kailangan pang inarrate. Lumabas ako na basa pa ang buhok at may towel sa balikat. 

"What do you want to talk about?" tanong ko at umupo sa kama nang makita kong nakatayo parin siya sa kinatatayuan niya kanina pa. "Walang gamot sa ngalay, umupo ka." wala naman siyang sinabi at umupo lang sa kabilang dulo ng kama. Stupid pero nasaktan ako. But, I think it's for the best? We're not together anymore so we should really distance ourselves to each other. Saka who knows? Baka magpakasal ulit siya kay Leena and they will have their happily ever after. Yay! So, really its for the best. 

"Ilang minuto na tayo dito at wala ka pang sinasabi. What do you want to talk about?" tanong ko habang nakatingin sa bintana at hindi siya hinaharap. Narinig ko siyang bumuntong hininga, "For the last time," nilingon ko siya, "Can I ask you out?" 

Agad naman akong napatayo at tinapon ang towel na nasa balikat ko sa sahig dala ng iritasyon, "Why the fuck are you doing this!?" nagsimula na namang mamasa ang mga mata ko. I shouldn't really cry now but this jerkhead here is toying with my freaking feelings. "Kung gusto mong umalis sa buhay ko, please do it! Just freaking do it! Wag mo na akong paasahin pa by doing these craps!"

"Remember, Le that I never wanted this!" I scoffed, "Oh really?" lumapit ako sa kanya, "Ikaw ang nagdala sa atin dito sa kinalalagyan natin ngayon EJ! Kung totoong loyal ka, mapalasing o hindi you will not cheat!" Natigilan naman siya. 

"Are we back on this?" tanong niya habang naniningkit ang mga mata. Natawa naman akio ng pagak, "This is where everything started, so yes. We're actually back on this." 

Natahimik kami saglit bago siya umupo ulit dahil tumayo siya nung medyo napainit ang usapan namin. "You could've fought for me you know?" saad ko kalaunan. Saka ko hinayaang may tumulo ulit na luha sa mata ko. He stared at me then sighed, "I don't love Leena. I never did and probably never will." 

"Wag kang magsalita ng tapos." 

"I'm not." he answered back. I sighed and run a hand through my hair. "You chose her," ani ko at dinuro siya. Umiling siya, "No, Leann. I never did. I chose my son." natigil ako sa narinig ko at tumango. "So you know the gender now? Congratulations. At least, hindi mapuputol ang lahi niyo. At sana hindi maging kasing gago niyo ng pinsan mo ang mga anak niyo." ani ko. 

Natigilan siya at tumingin siya mga mata ko pero iniwas ko ang tingin ko. Lahat na ata ng pakiramdam ko na inipon ko kakaiyak tuwing gabi ay nagsilabasan nang sabihin niyang may anak nga siya. Envy, rage, frustration and love. Naiinggit ako kasi may posibilidad na hindi ako magkaanak. Kung may mahanap man ako na lalaki dahil hindi kami pwede ni EJ I will end up getting hurt over and over again. A baby is the blessing that's why I'm not mad at their baby, If possible I even love their baby because damn it, he's still a part of EJ even though he's not a part of me. But nevermind because he'll never know that for I am leaving. For good. 

"I never cared that we didn't have the baby of our own, Leann. I only cared that you're mine." natawa ulit ako ng pagak at lumapit sa kanya bago napailing, "Lies. I saw your eyes whenever there's a couple with a child. That's your dream, EJ. You wanted a child and damn me I can never give it to you. I can never be a mother no matter how much I wanted to.

"And if you think I'll steal the opportunity from your son to know his father, then you're damn wrong. So damn wrong. I know what it feels to have a cmplete family and trust me you do, too. You will never want your child to hate you or something for abandoning him." hesitantly, I stepped forward and cupped his face. "You're a good guy, it's just that, maybe we're just not meant for each other." I smiled and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "Maybe on our next lives. Maybe next time. Just not now," saad ko at hinayaang tumulo ang mga luha ko. 

"I've never loved anyone aside you, Leann. Know that, please." I nodded then a sob escaped my mouth. I took a step back and headed to the door when he grabbed my wrist and hugged me tight. "Huli na. Huli na please," I nodded and cried harder. 

"I love you Leann," aniya sa basag na boses. "I love you too much it hurts," he chuckled hoarsely. Hindi ako sumagot. I just nodded and cried. "I love you," aniya ulit at nakaramdam ako ng basa sa balikat ko kung saan niya ipinatong ang ulo niya. 

I wanted to say 'I love you, too' but that would only make the situation worse than it already is. Wala akong sinabi, niyakap ko lang siya like it's the last time we'll see each other again. 

Which is probably what's going to happen. Hindi ako aalis dahil naduduwag ako, aalis ako para makausad. Aalis ako para sa aming dalawa para tumigil ang sakit at higit sa lahat para sa mas makilala pa ang sarili ko. 

Ito ang tama. Ang unahin ko muna ang sarili ko. Ako na naman.