𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓 ✘ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐅𝐅

{1⁷} {FOREIGN CONCEPTS}

∆ {1⁷} {FOREIGN CONCEPTS} ∆

AT ONE POINT in her long history of S.H.I.E.L.D missions, Roxi had gone on one that took her to Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Unusually, she'd gone with a small team, in case she needed backup; to take down a person on the Index. She'd ended up falling a ten-foot drop onto the top of a metal shipping container, and when she woke up, all she could feel was an aching pain that gnawed at her muscles and nestled itself deep into her bones.

When Roxi woke up after her encounter with Loki, she felt the same way, but with more of a pain in her ribs and head than anywhere else. She realised that she had failed at keeping Loki at bay and tightened her hands into fists, grabbing the material beneath her tightly. It was then that she noticed that she was lying on a bed. She peeled her eyes open slowly, squinting at first to adjust to a harsh white light above her. When it eventually stopped blinding her, she opened her eyes fully and glanced around the room she was in. The medical ward. Again. She sat up, her hand instantly going to the pocket of the leather jacket she still hadn't taken off, letting out a light breath of relief once her fingers grazed the key-ring she'd left there.  She took it out and admired it for a moment. She admired the way that even though it was worn, it was still special to her, and that some things never lose their meaning, no matter what they've been through. She supposed that could apply to a person as well. It just had to be the right kind of person, and that wasn't her. She tucked it back into her pocket quickly when she heard the door to her small room open, seeing Fury walk in.

"You do seem to have a remarkable talent for getting injured, Agent Ryder," he announced. She smiled slightly and then remembered why she was in the medical ward and it turned into a frown.

"I didn't stop Loki. I'm sor-" She began, before he cut her off.

"Okay, let me stop you there. First of all, you delayed Loki long enough for us to deal with the Hulk, and second of all, nobody was expecting you to hold off a god, so give yourself some credit." A sudden thought struck Roxi, causing her frown to deepen, not lift. When she woke up on the helicarrier on the way back from Rio, Phil had been right at her side, checking to see if she felt okay, and he had told her that he hadn't left her side except when he had to. So where was he?

"Where's Phil?" Fury  sighed slightly and gave her an almost pitying look - he knew better to outright show that he pitied her- and Roxi immediately knew something was wrong, and she had a pretty strong guess what.

"He didn't make it," she said quietly to herself, and though she tried to keep emotion from her voice, she found it quivering ever so slightly as she uttered the four words. She have tried to look like it hadn't hit her hard, but in reality, it had. It had hit her like a sledgehammer, and it was sending waves of emotion through her body, making her hands shake, which were hidden by the thin covers of the hospital bed, and sending her thoughts into a jumbled mess, but she managed to think straight enough to remind herself to be professional. Fury gave her a few moments to get over the overwhelming tide of emotion that coursed through her, and watched as she slowly adjusted to it. He knew she hadn't dealt with it, but simply pushed it aside for her to work out later, and he knew it wasn't good for her, but he didn't try and stop her. 

When Roxi had successfully stored her emotion for the moment, she noticed that something felt foreign in her body. At first she thought it was grief - she hadn't got attached to many people over the years, and none of them had died - until now. She always felt a pang whenever she pulled the trigger, but the grief she felt was a hundred times worse. Except she ahd pushed that away - for the moment - so it couldn't be that. She focused on the feeling. It was strange. It was warm and cold at the same time, and felt solid but also as though if she tried to move through it, it would swirl out of the way like mist. She couldn't describe the feeling as anything other than alien. She looked up at Fury, again pushing all thoughts of the strange new feeling aside as she got back on topic.