KISS: Road Trip

Ch 31: Best Men (Paul)

Gene looked around my room with a smile after we managed to put Ace and Peter to bed, eyes a little sad. "Damn. This takes me back," he said quietly, leaning against the wall. "Yeah. Whole lot of memories," I mumbled, kicking off my shoes. "Most of them good, some of them bad." He nodded, walking over to the window with a smile. "You got hit with an egg here," he said, half to himself, and I threw a pillow at him. "And you passed out drunk in my basement so shut up."

"You mean my new bedroom?" he teased, before sitting on the edge of my bed, taking a shaking breath before closing his eyes. "Damn I really fucked up." I sat next to him with a shrug. "I mean, what do you want me to say? You did fuck up. I trusted you Gene, I trusted you with things I didn't tell anyone else, and I loved you and you just...I don't even know. It hurt."

"I know. And I know no matter how many times I say sorry it's not going to undo everything that happened. And I wish there was a way I could undo everything. I just want to...to be able to be your friend again," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

I took a deep breath, shaking my head. "You're not. You're not my friend." He stared at me in horror, eyes filling with tears, and I nudged him in the ribs after a nice long pause. "You're my brother." Gene sat back with a weak laugh, giving me a shove. "You suck. Oh, my heart. You suck," he grumbled. I laughed, giving him a hug. "Shut up. After everything you did I get to have that moment."

"No that's fair, that's fair. But oh shit my heart," he said, grabbing his chest and shaking his head. I gave him a smile. "But seriously, Gene, you're my brother. You're sorry and I can see that and at this point I pretty much forgive you." He nodded, giving me a hug. "Yeah. I'm really sorry man, I know it might not always seem like it since I've done so much to sabotage our relationship, but I really do care about you and I really am glad we're friends."

I hugged him back, burying my face in his shoulder and trying not to cry, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as we just sat there in each other's arms before he sat back suddenly, ears burning. "Paul can I...can I ask you something?" he asked quietly. I turned to look at him, already fearing the worse. "Yeah sure what's up?" I asked, bracing myself for him telling me he'd never be able to speak to me again or he'd have to go away and never come back or that he really did hate me. "What's it like growing up with a dad?"

I stared at him in confusion. "What?" "I want to be a good dad for Nick but I never had a dad and I don't know what being a good dad is like and so I wanted to ask you so--so I can be the best dad I can for Nick," he mumbled, face starting to turn red.

My heart practically melted into a puddle as I stared at him. "Oh. Well huh. I mean...it was nice. It's nice having a dad. He always gave me like a bit of tough love but he still loved me. Still does. And he shared the things he loved to do with me. Like he grew up playing football and he taught me to play too. I have so many memories of him and me going to the park and playing catch. He was just always responsible and a steady constant and...yeah. It's hard to explain, you just kind of have to like...just kind of have to know."

He gave me a rueful smile. "Well how am I supposed to know what being a dad is like if I never have one growing up? That was the whole reason I asked you," he retorted. I punched him in the arm. "Ah, shut up. You've already been a dad for years. You've always been the one to take care of all of us. You're responsible and you care about all of us and you give us tough love when we need it but you also just really, really care about us. You make sure we stay safe while also letting us have fun and having fun with us. You don't need to worry about being a good dad, you just need to be the good person you already are."

He looked at me for a second before bursting into tears. "Paul, Paul what the fuck am I doing?! I'm not going to be a good dad, I have no idea how to be a dad! I don't even know how to have a happy childhood!" he wailed. "I have no fucking clue how to raise a kid!"

I gave him a tight hug as he buried his face in my shoulder and sobbed. "Gene, it's okay. It's okay. You're just overwhelmed and stressed out. Take a deep breath and listen to me. You have been one of the most responsible, trustworthy, and caring people I've ever known for my entire life, okay? You love Shannon to pieces and you already adore Nick and he's not even born yet. You will be an amazing father. I mean did you listen to a word I just said?"

He nodded, taking a shaking breath before giving me a watery smile, still sniffling. "T-thanks Paul. Oh, that reminds me, I meant to ask you this sooner. You want to be Nick's godfather?" I stared at him blankly. "W-what?" "Do you want to be Nick's godfather? I know I messed up and I want...I really want to give you a chance to be a part of Nick's life because I do care about you, I really do."

I gave him a huge smile, hugging him again. "Thanks Gene. I really appreciate that, I really do, and of course I'll be his godfather. But also we should probably go to bed since we have a wedding tomorrow." He grinned, rising to his feet. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for everything," he murmured, giving me another hug.

As it turns out, Ace was as nervous about getting married as Gene was about being a dad.

He looked into the mirror, running a shaking hand through his hair. "Oh Paul, oh Paulie I can't do this, I can't do this, I'm freaking the fuck out," he whispered. "I feel sick curly, I've already thrown up and I feel like I'm gonna do it again." I grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him around to face me. "Ace, listen to me. Take a deep breath, alright? Deep breath." He nodded, taking a shaking breath.

"You love Peter, right?" He nodded, biting on his lip. "M-more than anyone in the world, curly, more than anyone! T-that's why I wanna marry him!" he stammered. "And Peter loves you, right?" He nodded again. "And so you two will be happy together and you have nothing to worry about because today will go flawlessly. And even if it doesn't go flawlessly, that's okay, because you two love each other and you two are gonna be happy together no matter what!"

He nodded, still trembling. "Y-yeah. Yeah, you're right! I love him and he loves me and it'll be fine!" he said, looking in the mirror. "Aaah Paulie I'm getting married! Like married, actually married! How wild is that?!"

I laughed, helping him brush out his hair. "I mean hey, you're an adult and you and Peter have been in love for ages! But yeah, it is wild." "It's funny, I got him a pair of earrings for our six month anniversary when we were first dating, and he asked me if it was a proposal, and I said no that was dumb, and yet here we were, five years later." I smiled, shaking my head. "Hey, it couldn't happen to two better people. Now come on, get your suit on! You're getting married in like an hour!"

Eyes shining, he gave me a hug. "Thanks Paulie!" he said, pulling on a shirt and vest as I got him his jacket. "Where the hell did you find this suit in like two weeks?" He grinned. "I already had it! Me and Peter go out to nice dinners sometimes and we got nice suits to go with! Works out perfectly, huh?" "That it does, considering the two of you have planned the most disorganized wedding possible. Now here, let me do your tie," I said, looping it around his neck and tying it into a bow.

Still smiling, he leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Paul. For everything." I smiled, hugging him back. "You're a great friend and I'm happy I've been able to know you. You do have to go though. You're the one walking down the aisle, right?" He nodded with a smile. "Yep! I won rock paper scissors." "Then go get going!" I said, pushing him out of the room before joining Gene by the front of the aisle. "Damn, they're really doing this," I said. He grinned, shaking his head. "They really are."