After All

Chapter 4: Unexpected Ally

I watched the taillights fade in the distance and sank to my knees with my head in my hands. For the first time in a long time, I felt tears track down my face. This is where we are. She invoked her security to keep me away from her. I could have never envisioned a time that would happen, nor could I imagine how absolutely shattering it would feel. I honest to God just want to curl up and die right now. How did we get here? I love her. I love her so deeply it hurts. But we are at the point where my sheer presence causes her such pain, she has to insulate herself and get away from me as soon as possible.

The doorman comes out with a concerned look on his face. "Sir, can I call you a car?"

I stand and wipe my eyes. "I'm walking. Thank you for your help." I turn and start walking back to my hotel. My brain is spinning and I don't have the first idea of how to get it together, so I just let it spin. I walk into my hotel, put a hand up to the groupies, and go up to my suite alone. I turn the music on loud and I sit down with a bottle of Jameson. I don't bother with a glass. This is a night to get shit faced if ever there was one. And that is exactly what I did. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to feel.

Like Jerrie, Della knew when to knock my ass out. As soon as we got on the plane, she handed me an Ambien and a pillow and said, "Sleep tight, Honeygirl." I didn't even flinch. I wanted to escape into sleep, so I took it and swallowed and laid back with my ear buds in playing my sleep playlist.

It felt like minutes later that Della was rousing me, "Sweetheart, we're landing. Rise and shine." I snorted. "Okay, you don't have to shine, but you do need to be able to stand up and walk, okay?"

I was feeling pitiful. "Can't Ted just carry me?"

She shook me harder. "He can, but NO, he cannot." She roused me some more and sprayed something in my face and smacked my cheeks. "You are not helpless and you are better than this. Get the hell out of your pity pants and let's go! I have your big sunglasses, your hair is appropriately sexy and mussed, let's just get you in a car and to the house and THEN you can wallow, but not now sister!"

I groan but move to get up. "I hate Jerrie. I can't believe she sent me such a mean wench."

She hauls me up and out of my seat, "Yeah, yeah, you can tell her later. Me too. Right now, we are getting your ass off this plane with dignity and grace in case anyone is watching. Come on, Dakota, you know this game. Placid smile, polite wave, and off we go. Five minutes, that's all I need from you and I promise we will lose all watchers for a week."

I halted her with a hand and reached into my bag. I pulled out my favorite lipstick and put it on, then I took the chopsticks out of my hair and shook it out. I pinched my checks and wiped under my eyes and looked at her steadily, "Okay, NOW, I'm ready. Lead on."

As we deplaned, I was astounded by the number of photographers. Nobody knew I was coming. Do they just sit and watch the private arrivals? I pasted a serene smile on my lips and waved politely.

The questions started immediately.

"Is Chris with you?"

"Why are you here, Dakota?"

"Did you see Jamie in Toronto?"

"How long are you staying?"

The rule of dealing with paparazzi is to never acknowledge or answer questions. But something in me just wanted to take a stand.

"Hey fellas. Not sure how you knew I was coming and that makes me a little scared!" I giggle and they laugh as well. I continue, "I am here to vegetate because I am TIRED. Chris isn't here, but I'll be joining him and the family next week. Yes, I saw Jamie in Toronto and he is well and enjoying his expanding family. I think that covers it!" I smile brightly and walk away with a big smile.