After All

Chapter 5: Girl Talk

A/N: Angsty. But you have to have angsty to get to something lighter.

I ended up spending two entire weeks in St. Thomas. It was a much-needed break, and it was great to simply unwind and let everything settle inside me. I spent my days paddle boarding and napping in a hammock. Every evening I curled up with a book on the patio. I didn't try too hard to figure things out, I just let my mind wander where it wanted to. The only thing I actively tried to do was to keep Jamie out of my thoughts, which was difficult as I stared at the crystal blue Caribbean water and saw his eyes. I need to figure out how to put him behind me once and for all. I accept that I have heartache, but I refuse to hold onto it forever. I need to move on, I'm just not exactly sure how. I know I need to see a therapist and process through this because it is inevitable that our paths will cross from time to time, and I need to handle myself better than I did in Toronto.

Chris and I talked every day. I know he's worried about me, but he didn't press me on anything. He and the kids left for Ibiza yesterday. I'm supposed to fly over to meet them tomorrow, but I'm not ready to go. I need to talk to my Mom. She has a way of giving me clarity when I need it most. I check the time and do a mental time zone calculation and decide it's a decent time to call her.

She answers on the first ring with a perky, "Hi Baby Girl! I'm so happy to hear from you!"

I lost it. Just hearing the love in her voice, I sat down and sobbed. "Oh Mama." I cried some more as she tutted on the other end of the phone. "Shh shh shh, baby. It's okay. Let it out. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I hiccupped, "I need you. Are you in LA? I'm packing now and can fly out in a few hours."

"I'm in Aspen, but that doesn't matter. I'll call Della and Daddy and get the jet arranged to get you here tonight." There's a pause, "Honey, I'm glad you called me. I'm so sorry you're hurting, but come home to me and we'll figure out what to do, okay? We always do."

"I love you Mama. Thank you. For everything. I'll see you tonight."

"Yes, you will. We'll talk and we'll cry and we'll eat ice cream and drink wine and tomorrow will be a brighter day. I promise."

***

"Della? It's Melanie. I just got a breakdown call from Dakota. What the hell is going on and start at the beginning."

"Oh Hun, thank God she called you. It's been a hell of a ride the last two weeks." Della proceeded to update Mel on everything that happened in Toronto and since then.

Melanie sighed, "I would ask why you didn't call me sooner, but I know the answer to that and I thank you for respecting her privacy. How is she, really."

"She's depressed. She has rested well while we've been here and she is healthy – has never looked better, honestly. But she is sad to the core and there is a bit of a lost look in her eyes. I think she is struggling to figure out how to pull herself up and move on."

"Well, we'll help her with that. Hold on, I'm going to conference in Don so we can get the jet ready to bring you to Aspen today. Let's not give him too many details. He is ready to put a hit on Jamie as it is."

Della chuckled, "Yeah, well he would have to get in line."

***

As we drive to the airport, I call Chris. "Hey. I've decided to go see my Mom for a few days, so I won't be joining you guys until Friday or Saturday. Okay?"

"Of course, Sweets. I think it's great you're going to spend some time with Mel." There is a pregnant pause, "You doin' okay?"

I pause as well, "Mostly. Mama will help sort me out."