In Revenge's Wake (Undertale Fanfic)

23.

       I entered hotland in a daze. Wherever the River Person was, he was long gone by the time I had read his message. To say I was conflicted at these turns of events was an understatement. On the one hand, the fact that I'd had a warning in the first place gave me a wonderfully swooping feeling in my stomach, that maybe I wasn't completely alone here. 

      On the other, however, the effort gone to give me a warning he had given back when the underground was well was slightly disconcerting. Did that just mean he's turned a different kind of insane? He wasn't like the others- kill on sight and move on. Even if it was a trick, this was something no monster touched by the murderous sickness Chara had created would have done. 

      But somewhere in my gut, an answer I thought more likely to be true lingered. That Chara was right all along. That the reason those words had been used in my time were no coincidence. The underground had been diseased a long time ago, long before I got there. 

      The air was thick here, baking my throat slightly as I breathed in. Monster dust also seemed to be in abundance, scattered around as if small campfires fires had been left to burn themselves until there was nothing left. I hated the slight relief all this death brought me. It was unlikely any monsters would be here. There was nothing left, nothing at all except for the low hum of the core. 

      It was oddly eerie to walk here, my footsteps crunching slightly here and there. I did my best to avoid the piles, almost as if trying to preserve them, all my ex-friends, as I once knew them. Again, I berated myself for thinking like this. Sadness would only slow my mission up. I had to get to Alphys' lab. 

Sans' POV

I didn't even know where to start. She could be anywhere. 

      She could even be dead. 

      I shuddered. No, I told myself. No reset had come. 

     Another thought niggled in my mind as soon as I'd shaken off the first. I hoped she hadn't given up- just like I had back there- that she was gone and no reset would come. But I realised I was holding her to my standards. She was better than that, much stronger. 

     I'd checked the forest, the alleys in the town... heck, I'd even checked the underground cavern that had caused this whole thing. I could barely look at it now. Her footsteps in the silvery snow were still there, untouched from the events that had occurred mere hours before. It looked peaceful almost. Trying to convince me my one last hope hadn't been snatched away by my own doing.

       I cursed myself for being so reserved, so secretive. It hadn't protected anyone in the end. Frisk was gone, unlikely to ever come back; Papyrus was unravelling as fast as the hoodie Frisk had worn whilst risking her life to save him. 

       It was the first time I had thought back to then now. How had she done it? Why had I been unable to help? I had the feeling maybe I wasn't the only one with knowledge that probably would have been better shared. Not that I'd have expected her to. 

        In a blur, I somehow found myself among the crystallised caves, turning until I came to my old spot. Even the statue now, with rain pattering onto it's fading stone, reminded me of Frisk, of the music that hit the cave as she somehow already knew it would. 

      I put my head in my hands, trying to slow the dull aching in my skull. It felt odd to be this helpless, this empty. I was used to being alone, of course. And apathy had always been almost a proud badge of honour I wore upon my sleeve. It was like since Frisk had come that feeling had dulled in comparison to her determination.